MOVIES ARE GOOD FOR DULLING THE INNER PAIN >>>

Note: It's time now, once again, for me to break out my jeweler's loupe and take a long, hard, judgmental look at a preview for an upcoming film. Red-band trailers be damned!

Track records for remakes in general are notoriously shaky, but there is no more perilous a redo than those of the comedy genre. Film history is littered with sub-par recreations of comedy films. Trouble seems to plague these endeavors because - unlike action movies or even dramas - a good comedy is such lightning in a bottle. So many intangibles need to fall right in place for the film to be a success (see: the classic Alan Arkin/Peter Falk vehicle, The In-Laws, and its unfortunate remake, starring Albert Brooks and Michael Douglas).

This is why the notion of remaking Arthur is such a tricky proposition. Even with the pedigree that the new Arthur boasts - including the possibly inspired casting of Russell Brand in the Dudley Moore slot and the enlisting of Alan Partridge writer, Peter Baynham, for the screenplay - the resulting product could still teeter on the brink of comedy ruin.

The first observation that can be made about the trailer for Arthur - and, as far as observations about Arthur go, this one's a doozy - is that Arthur doesn't seem to be an alcoholic. Perhaps the movie studio decided to not push this angle in the trailer, but it would be a sharp detour from the original character to remove alcohol from the picture. Russell Brand's Arthur is charming and foppish, to be sure, but that ever-present sway of booze coursing through his system seems notably absent in previews. I can only assume that's not the case in the real flick.

The rest of the cast is populated with greats like Helen Mirren (still gorgeous), as Arthur's nanny; Luis Guzman as the dopey Bitterman; and the preternaturally appealing Greta Gerwig in the Liza Minelli role of Arthur's love interest. There also appears to be a rather troubling performance from Jennifer Garner, as the woman who was arranged to marry Arthur. I'm not sure that I ever need to see Ms. Garner in a trench coat, describing French kissing, or wearing lingerie and being adhered to a magnet bed (!).

Hollywood seems to be betting all their chips on Russell Brand, and this may be the movie that stalls his career. Or cements it.

Just please, for everyone's sake, let it be better than the remake of Alfie.