SPSCC PLAY EXPLORES LIFE POST-SNOOPY >>>

What if Pig-Pen greeted Marcie and Peppermint Patty with "What's up, sluts?"

It must be some kind of an alternate reality. And for those who love Charles M. Schulz's world just the way it is, that's probably the safest way to think of it.

For the rest of us, let's just say that Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead, opening Thursday, May 12, at South Puget Sound Community College, is nutty indeed. And completely unsuitable for children.

The completely unauthorized parody by Bert V. Royal begins with the death of the beloved beagle. Surrounding the grieving CB are the germ-obsessed Matt (Pig-Pen), party girls Tricia and Marcy (Peppermint Patty and Marcie) and pothead Van (Linus).

The play explores such after-school-special-worthy topics as eating disorders, drug use, sex - and provides a plausible explanation for the origins of the spork, told by Marcy in this video of a scene from a 2009 production.

The comics will never be the same.

Kenneth J. Minnaert Center for the Arts at SPSCC, Dog Sees God, through May 22, 8 p.m. Thursday - Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, $12.50, $7.50 for students, faculty and staff, 2011 Mottman Road S.W., Olympia, 360.753.8586, olytix.org