THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Mostly sunny, possible showers hi 72, lo 50

Saturday: Sunny, hi 75, lo 55

Sunday: Showers, hi 66, lo 50

>>> FRIDAY, JULY 1: Tacoma Metal Prom

Tacoma has seen plenty of proms lately. And we're not even talking about the standard high school affairs. It seems like not long ago the "'80s Prom" was drawing folks by the half dozen to Hell's Kitchen, and that's just the start of the prom-themed events Tacoma has seen in its day. Friday, perhaps the most Tacoma-perfect prom of all, the Metal Prom, will shake Hell's Kitchen with bruising performances by C.F.A., Sleeper Cell, Yuck Fou and DJ Melodica. Warning: the punch is spiked.

• Hell's Kitchen, 9 p.m., $5, 928 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003

>>> FRIDAY, JULY 1: The Fucking Eagles

Over the years, The Fucking Eagles have worked hard to make a name for themselves, not only in the supremely ubiquitous genre of garage rock, but in a city like Tacoma - where garage rock bands seem to fall from trees. While many bands in these parts skew toward the psychedelic side of the ‘60s, the Fucking Eagles make their home in the stomping, shuddering footsteps of the Sonics, our blistering rock forefathers. It's relentless, pounding rock ‘n‘ roll - the kind that kids with crew cuts and horn-rim glasses had to find in underground clubs, far from the prying eyes of grown-ups. Friday, the Fucking Eagles willl take the stage at the New Frontier along with the Night Beats, who will be celebrating the release of their debut self-titled LP. -- Rev. AM

• The New Frontier, with the Night Beats, Basemint, The Cigarette Burns, 9 p.m., cover TBA, 301 E. 25th St, Tacoma, 253.572.4020

>>> SATURDAY, JULY 2: Proctor Farmers Market

You can find cut herbs, seasonal fruits and vegetables, fresh fish and baked goods along with live entertainment, free crafts for the kids and gardening advice from master gardeners from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Proctor Farmers Market.

• Proctor District, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m., North 27th and Proctor St., Tacoma

>>> SUNDAY, JULY 3: 45th Annual South Sound Center Independence Day Celebration

Really, is there a more appropriate locale to celebrate the birth of our nation, the greatest nation on earth, than in the parking lot of Lacey's South Sound Center - home to Target, Kohl's, Sears, Happy Nails, Hair Perfect and even an Applebee's? Hell no. That's exactly why they throw the South Sound Center Independence Day celebration every year. According to the Facebook hype page, this is the 45th year! That's just crazy. Did we metion the Funtastic carnies will be in the house? Do we even need to?

• South Sound Center, 6 -11 p.m., donations accepted, all ages, 711 Sleater Kinney Road SE, Lacey, 360.491.6850

>>> MONDAY, JULY 4: Freedom Fair (instead of blowing your fingers off)

Freedom Fair along the Ruston Way waterfront is a yearly tradition for many South Sound families. It's been running strong for over three decades now. This year, in addition to the usual festivities on the Fourth, the gusto behind Freedom Fair helps celebrate the Centennial of Naval Aviation by expanding things - with Military Aviation Appreciation night scheduled for Cheney Stadium on Friday and the Wings & Wheels car, plane and motorcycle show Sunday at the Tacoma Narrows airport. But the big night is still the fireworks on the Fourth.

• Ruston Way Waterfront, all day, Tacoma, freedomfair.com]

>>> WHERE OUR STAFF IS GOING

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
This weekend is all about garage sales, barbeques and music - a visit to Sylvester park for OIMF is in the plans. And maybe a few fireworks with the kiddos - perhaps some worms and mini-tanks and groundflowers - the driveway classics. But most importantly, I can do all of these things without the worry of work - no more bartending weekends for this mama! Hooray! 

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL: Theater Critic
I'll be rehearsing the crap out of Oleanna. You know: for America.

.

JOE IZENMAN: Theater Critic
BACHELOR PARTY OF DOOOOOOOOOM. No doubt after an epic poker game Friday night, you'll find me and my horde roaming the bars of Sixth Ave., conning free drinks wherever we can. Then down to Portland Saturday for additional beer. Then... probably just rest on Sunday. I suspect I'll need it.

STEPH DEROSA: Features Writer
I'm out to the beach all weekend so don't try to call, don't try to write, don't try to text, email or smoke signal me.  And if you want to rob my house while I'm gone you'll be greeted by an old southern lady who's packin' heat (hi mom!)- so I wouldn't try that either.

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
This weekend (much like every other day this week) will be spent comforting my teething baby while trying to teach him to say "Up" instead of screaming when he wants to be held.

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
I'm going to the opening of the Ron Hinson and Susan Christian art exhibit at Childhood's End.

.

BRETT CIHON Meat Market Correspondent
I'm back on the meat market express this weekend. Long lines for bathrooms and short skirts for the backrooms.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL - BECAUSE THE BEER IS CHEAPER >>>

For those who may not have heard, our favorite living baseball announcer, Mike Curto, got the call up to the Bigs to announce some of yesterday's Mariners game.

How did he do?

Swimmingly. The guy hardly missed a beat. Curto may have been a little tentative in the first couple innings, trying hard to find space to speak between Rick Rizzs' effortless stream of baseball, but he quickly settled into a rhythm. Curto called strikes and balls with ease. He told jokes. He asked Rizzs interesting questions. He even managed to squeeze in a bunch of PCL insight, shedding valuable light on the Mariners players that were called up from the Rainiers this season.

In short, Curto announcing for the Mariners is like Curto announcing for the Rainiers (38-42): funny and solid. And while he insists his time in the Mariners' booth was just a one day affair, somebody in the Mariners' upper office could have taken notice. At least, we here at the Weekly Volcano expect they did.

But we can't let Curto get off with a completely stellar review. This is the Rainiers Minute, after all. We have to complain about something.

1.    Having Curto in the booth didn't help the Mariners score runs. The team looked as lackluster as ever at the plate (aside from Ackley's second dinger in the Bigs). 

2.    Rick Rizzs didn't assign Curto one of his Rizzs-style nicknames. This bummed us out. We were especially hoping for a nickname that would convey Curto's recent foray into rave culture. Mike "the glowstick" Curto, or something like that.

That's what we were bummed about. Not much.

Enough about Curto and the Mariners. More about Curto and the Rainiers. Or just the Rainiers.

Notes ...

-Rainiers relief pitcher Josh Lueke was selected to the 2011 PCL All-Star team. The 6'5" right-hander from Kentucky has posted a 2.48 ERA in 32 innings pitched with the Rainiers. The selection means Lueke will probably head to Salt Lake City on July 13 to compete in the Triple-A All Star Game. We say probably because pitchers have been known to decline an All Star invitation in order to save their arms. Save their arm or take some time off to play "Call of Duty."

Because, hey, it's a long season. These guys get withdrawals. 

-Lueke was the only Rainier selected to the 2011 All-Star team.  What, what, what? Who made these selections? Whoever it was must have barely glanced at the Rainiers roster. Haven't they heard of Dustin Ackley? Or Greg Halman? Or Mike Carp? What about these guys, huh? Oh, wait. That's right. Disregard. 

-The Rainiers, who had Wednesday off, were on a bit of a terror until Tuesday night. The team won five in a row, including a 19-5 victory over the Las Vegas 51s that saw the Rainiers score six runs in the first inning. Of course, all good things end. The Rainiers lost the series finale to the 51s on Tuesday night. They lost, but not before our new favorite Rainier, Kyle Seager, could bang out three hits. Nice work, Seager. Just keep feeding us stats so we can keep mentioning your name. We need to foster this crush.

-Cheney Stadium will play host to a plethora of ‘Independence Weekend' events this weekend. Starting tonight with Tasty Thursday and going through Sunday with fireworks, Cheney will for all intents and purposes embody the American spirit. This means the Fresno Grizzlies are in for four games of liquored up fans, excited kids and fireworks galore. God, it must suck to be the visiting team around the Fourth of July.

Tasty Thursday starts tonight at 7:05 p.m. We wish we could tell you who tonight's starting pitcher is, but the Rainiers website has announced the pitcher as T.B.D. And we're only, what, six hours before the game?

Gotta love the Minor Leagues.

UPDATE: The Rainiers website site now says Nate Robertson will take the hill for hometown nine. Dude's got an impressive goatee.

LINK: The "Rainiers Minute" collection

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Today's comment comes from PJ in response to the Volcano's Super Best of Tacoma 2011 Readers' Poll, which closes today after a month of intense voting (there's still time to vote if you're reading this Thursday).

PJ writes,

The best darned burger in town has to be the Thrill of the Grill on Tacoma Ave and 14th. It has such a warm and welcoming atmosphere, and their burgers are the best I have EVER had. All I can say is that if you are in Tacoma and want to taste the best burger you can get, go here!

ORGANIZED IN PART BY TURN OUT THAT LIGHT TACOMA >>>

Tacoma's populace has proven to embrace beer, hot dogs and movies over the years. What it hasn't proven to be supportive of is digital billboards getting shoved down its throat.

What do these two facts have in common?

The answer: Tonight's Movie Night at the Red Hot, where Turn Out That Light Tacoma (a grassroots organization raising in opposition to Clear Channel's push for digital billboards in the 253) has helped organize a showing of John Carpenter's They Live. The action starts at 8 p.m.

The ubiquitous Tacoma Urbanist, Erik Bjornson, reached out with some reasons to support this event.

From Bjornson's email ...

There are a lot of reasons to see the movie including: 

1) It is being shown at the hyper local Red Hot, which is reason enough.

2) The movie is relevant to the threat of digital billboards being forced into Tacoma

3) The movie stars "Rowdy" Roddy Piper movie has been rated as having the 7th best fight scene of ANY MOVIE in the history of the world.

Sure enough, we've fact checked the Urbanist's statements, and they all hold true.

Here's a clip from the movie...

[The Red Hot, Movie Night showing of They Live, 8 p.m., 2914 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.779.0229]

AN IRREVERANT LOOK AT THE WILD WORLD OF SPORTS >>>

The world's 17th-ranked golfer, one Tiger Woods, said this week from the AT&T National golf tournament at Aronimink Golf Club in Newton Square, Pa., that he won't play again until he's fully healed from a left knee and Achilles injury. This makes any chance that Woods will compete in the upcoming British Open, roughly two weeks away, all but obsolete. Woods's next victory in a Major will be his 15th, but since that whole infidelity-slash-Perkins-waitress scandal, his play has turned to s***. This latest injury proclamation, centering on his historically janky left knee, only adds to growing speculation that Woods will never return to his old, dominant self.

Reporters questioned Woods on the decision for some time, and in his characteristically boring demeanor (the kind of boring that can only be achieved from hours upon hours of whacked-out Ambien sex) the golfer insisted that, while he's rushed back from injury in the past, he's determined to take a different approach this time and fully heal.

Sadly, no one asked Woods about whether chicks dig the beard and mustache he's grown.

Click here to read this week's full Cup Check column.

LINK HUB: Previous Cup Check columns

FRIDAY, JULY 1, 2011 >>>

1. The music that Future Bass residency produces falls into the glitch-hop/indy electroclash/heavy electro dance music category, and they have the talent and the know-how to push glitch-hop further than we knew it could go. Electro poster boys DJ Broam, Bobby Galaxy and E.S. of Fab-5 will lay down squiggly squeaks, breaky beats, distorted hip-hop samples, wobbling bass lines, clean taps, eerie synthesized keys and more beginning at 9:30 p.m. - surrounded by projected video and live visuals - inside the Tempest Lounge. Bonus: $3.75 wells.

2. Speaking of eeriness and alcohol fun ... the Washington State History Museum's First Friday Pre-Pub Gallery Talk just so happens to be about the secrets of ancient beer making, as well as other mythological mysteries. Tied to the special exhibition Wrapped! The Search for the Essential Mummy, these 3:30 p.m. gallery talks are led by exhibit curator Stephanie Lile. And the treasure of the tomb? Special deals from fellow beer worshipers: The Harmon and Pyramid Ales, The Ram and The Swiss.

3. The Tacoma Mob Riders are hitting the streets - and booze - once again. Shoving off from The Goldfish Tavern at 7 p.m., the bicyclists will travel to North End Tacoma pubs and bars dressed in patriot garb. God bless America!

4. Tacoma Rainiers games are pretty exciting. We regularly blog this fact here. At 7 p.m. the excitement goes sky high as it's "Celebrate the Centennial of Naval Aviation" night at Cheney Stadium. This special night will feature a game against the Fresno Grizzlies, military activities, a special centennial tribute and fireworks.

5. Some people don't like to dance. They don't like sweaty dance floors, heavy bass and pumping fists. They don't like short skirts, flirty looks and grinding on strangers. They don't like to see men in skintight shirts belt out all the words to Lady Gaga, or women with dreaded hair hop up and down to the newest Too Short song. Yep, some people don't like to dance. We call them wimps. And you won't see them beginning at 9 p.m. for one of the best dance nights in Tacoma - gay-friendly Club Silverstone.

LINK: More arts and entertainment event sin the South Sound

LINK: Movies open!

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

Flash - back

This week takes us to 2007, and an eager exhibitionist. ...

I remember working one night, a pretty regular night by bar standards. People were yelling to one another about skate sessions, medical marijuana or burlesque dancers, trying to compete with the noise of the jukebox, when a young gutter punk came through the door. Dressed head to toe in patched-up skinny leather clothes, he sat at the bar claiming to have just hopped a train from San Francisco.

He orders a beer, and seems to settle in, removing his beanie and tapping a finger to the drum beat in Motorhead's "Ace of Spades.  Everything seems in order.

Then, all of a sudden, the gutter punk hops up from the bar stool, quickly drops his skinny black pants, and lets a raging boner greet the bar - hips thrust forward, smile on his face. He then proceeds to drape his beanie over his boner and does a sort of slow circle with the lower half of his body.

Everybody in the bar is completely stunned. It's like he's a snake charmer and has us mesmerized, except that this is the wrong kind of snake.

Finally, the gutter punk and his exposed boner are approached by my fellow bartender, and the kid recoils into a blur of clothing, punching, cussing and undoubtedly some penis flailing.

As the sausage-swinging sociopath from San Francisco was ushered out of the bar everyone cheered.

This week, I'd like to encourage the few readers I have, (hi, Aunt Lois!) to share any crazy bar stories they might have. So have a stiff one, and drop a story in the comment box.

Cheers!

LINK HUB: The "Behind Bars" collection

ESCOVEDO STEPS IN >>>

Jobs can be like marriages at times. When they don't work the ending can be ugly and drawn out, or irreconcilable differences can be cited and the two parties can simply move on.

The second scenario describes the case with the very recent departure of general manager Brandon Escovedo from Gruv Lounge & Nightclub. Now, Escovedo joins the crew at Backstage Bar and Grill. He officially took on the role of general manager at the Sixth Avenue club on Monday, June 27.

Escovedo says that, until his arrival, Backstage owner Joy Hutt had been doing everything trying to run the place herself. "That's a lot of hold down," says Escovedo. "She'd talked to me about stepping in before; the time just wasn't right until now."

As a previous executive chef with a long history of working the culinary side of things, one of the first changes Escovedo will make as GM is to update the live music venue's menu. "Fresh quality casual" is how he describes what will soon be offered.

"Just because it's a bar doesn't mean the food should be sub par," says Escovedo. "There's a real change happening in this area in what's on bar menus."

Escovedo shares that he has no intention of pricing out the bar's clientele or creating a menu that requires a culinary dictionary to decipher. "Inexpensive doesn't have to mean cheap or blah," he tells me. Prices will range from $5 to $14. Look for slow braised riblets and other bar food items.

A two-foot chilidog, the "Tommy Dawg," is a 20-minute food challenge. That's right - power that sucker down in 20 minutes and it's free. Tongue in cheek names for some menu items support the rock 'n' roll theme of the Backstage Bar and Grill. In addition a new, non-fussy lunch and evening menu will be available at Backstage by July 5.

[Backstage Bar and Grill, Open daily 11 a.m. - 2 a.m., 6409 Sixth Avenue, Tacoma]