IT'S CALLED ODDIO >>>

With James Jenkins of Mama Loves Daddy moving to Portland; the increasing irregularity of Drug Purse and Paris Spleen shows; the switch ideologically and title-wise from the Elephants to the Nightgowns; and with lots of people just getting their shit together-it seems as if the last vestige of the dirtbag, Tacoma-centric, Team Unicorn Records spirit is being maintained by Umber Sleeping. It was by way of Team Unicorn Records and adjacent bands (like Umber Sleeping) that I was first introduced to local music. At the time, Tacoma seemed littered with Carlo Rossi jugs, hand-rolled cigarettes, banged-up NES systems and Free Design record albums. Nowadays, the shows aren't as unhinged, the people aren't as reckless or snobby, the stakes for partying aren't as high and the repercussions aren't as monumental.

But Umber Sleeping (and yeah, they were called Follow the Kites for a second; more on that later) still have that smoky air about them. With every introduction Umber Sleeping frontman Peter Tietjen makes about the next song being about Three's Company or He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, I feel a tiny kick in the back of my head from a phantom swig of Carlo Rossi. Every stab from a buzzing synthesizer makes me feel like I'm waiting outside a convenience store for my older friend to come back with cigarettes.

To read Rev. Adam McKinney's full article click here.

[Hell's Kitchen, Oddio with Umber Sleeping with Fields Without Fences, Goldwing, Not From Brooklyn, Saturday, June 4, 8 p.m., $5, 928 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003]

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

The Rules of the Game

In anticipation of next week's annual Weekly Volcano bar issue, this year going by the ultra-witty name Drink(s), I thought I'd share this list of 100 Bartender Rules.

Passed on from master bartendress Brandi Goodrum (look for an interview with her next week) this list is utter genius.

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

4. Change your toast at least once a month.

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

Read more...

MORE CLAY HUNTINGTON PROPS >>>

Before we begin the skullduggery and half-cocked baseball analysis that is the bi-weekly Rainiers Minute, we must take some time out to recognize the passing of Clay Huntington.

By all accounts, Tacoma baseball as we know it would not have been possible without Huntington. He helped bring the Pacific Coast League to Tacoma in the '60s. He saved the team from moving away in the early '70s. The radio station he owned, KLAY 1180, broadcast Rainiers' games for years.

While not having the knowledge or the skill to properly eulogize Huntington, we here at the Volcano can say this: Clay Huntington loved baseball and he loved Tacoma. He worked tirelessly for both. For this, he will definitely be missed.

Now back to the skullduggery.

The Rainiers (23-32) have lost three in a row to the Reno Aces. This is a bummer for any number of reasons. First, this puts the Rainiers 10 games behind the division leaders, the aforementioned Reno Aces. Second, this means the team's home record has once again taken a nosedive to 10-17. Not good, not good. And finally, three losses in a row also means the Rainiers are nine games under .500. Yep, that's right. Nine games.

Not exactly knocking on the door of back-to-back PCL championships, are we boys?

>>> Yesterday the Seattle Mariners sent struggling outfielder and resident tall man Michael Saunders down to the Rainiers. In exchange they called up Greg Halman. We here at the Weekly Volcano welcome this transition. Why? Because Saunders' nickname "The Condor" opens up all sorts of possibilities for us. Example. Watch out Carp! The Condor is coming in quick. And he looks hungry!   

>>> Thursday's game marked the comeback of leftie Nate Robertson. Robertson, who has major league experience, was recovering from an elbow surgery. In his first game back, Robertson pitched six innings, gave up six hits and three earned runs. While these numbers are seemingly pedestrian, we have to remember this is his first game back after having chips of bone removed from his body. Chips. Of. Bone.

>>> In other pedestrian news, tonight is fireworks night at Cheney Stadium. We call this pedestrian because it happens for every Friday home game. But really, who doesn't love fireworks?    

So yeah, the Rainiers try to salvage a game against the Aces tonight at 7:05. Be there or be square.

OH! Nearly forgot. Yesterday, our esteemed editor Matt "I tweet like it's going out of style" Driscoll interviewed Rainiers announcer Mike Curto. We don't want to give too much away as the interview will appear in an upcoming print issue of the rag, but here's a direct quote from Driscoll:

"Tacoma Rainiers radio announcer Mike Curto has been to a party with Nick Lachey and received bottle service."

Good stuff to be sure.  Until we read the interview, we can only guess why Curto was clubbing it up with Lachey. Our guess:

Lachey needed some lady advice. So he went to the guru.

CRATE DIGGER'S PARADISE >>>

Walk, bike, drop in by parachute. However you do it, make your way to the Elks Lodge Saturday, June 4, for the third occasional Olympia Record Show.

Naturally, the Olympia Record show will feature live music by DJ Wildman James and Selector Edmund, a full bar for those of drinking age and-of course-tons of everybody's favorite round, vinyl, soul pleasers: records! (Not to mention the peppering of VHS, cassettes and other rarities.) For $2 admission, this event excites dealers, collectors and dabblers alike.

Vinyl records have long been coveted for their superior sound quality, artistic covers and collectability. Many people believe vinyl holds precedence over other musical formats.

To read Nikki Talotta's full article click here.

[Olympia Elks Lodge, Olympia Record Show, Saturday, June 4, 5 - 9 p.m., $2, 1818 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, olympiarecordshow.com]

SATURDAY, JUNE 4, 2011 >>>

1. Marilyn Monroe was gorgeous and glorious, incandescently burning the candle with animal sensuality at one end and vulnerable innocence at the other. It's the former that caught the eye but the latter that drew us closer. There's been no one before or since possessing that perfect blend of guilelessness and carnality, and it was with her almost to the end. At 7 p.m. Pastiche wine bar throws a Marilyn Merlot party in honor of Monroe's June 1 birthday. The Sixth Avenue spot will host a male and female Monroe look-a-like contest, and pour Marilyn Merlot, which celebrates its 25^th anniversary.

2. The Mother Earth News Fair makes its West Coast debut this weekend at the Puyallup Fairgrounds from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. It's a family-oriented sustainable lifestyle event that features dozens of practical, hands-on demonstrations and workshops from the leading authorities on renewable energy, small-scale agriculture, gardening, green building, green transportation and natural health.?You can also taste samples of organic beverages in our beer and wine garden (nice!),  participate in a silent auction, check out the latest alternative energy vehicles, experience small-space living and score deals from vendors hucking sustainable lifestyle products and services, including books, tools, seeds, crafts, organic foods, clothes, solar gadgets and more.

3. Revisiting craft projects culled from how-to books from the 1960s to the 1980s, the Telephone Room Gallery asked 16 artists to explore three randomly assigned projects taken from these books as part of the "Assignment Crafty" show, which opens with a reception from 5-9 p.m. Check out the contemporary perspectives on fish printing, bottle gardens, rock creatures, Ojos de Dios and more.

4. With just a few lyrical brush strokes, Lennon, McCartney, and their mates made us mourn the lonely death of Eleanor Rigby, taste the strange bittersweet kiss of the girl who came in through the bathroom window, and wonder what life would feel like were we living in a yellow submarine. Jo emery Ballet School will bring the Fab Four storytelling life in a Beatles-inspired contemporary piece as part of its annual showcase "Dances with Dancers" at 7:30 p.m. inside the Pantages Theater. Artistic Director Jo Emery will also lead her students and the Tacoma Performing Dance Company through in a Moulin Rouge production and Alice in Wonderland.

5. Tacoma's Urban Art Festival  - the free, all-ages event that showcases Tacoma musicians and artists - will be reaching new heights this year when it commences stretches it over two days - June 25-26 - and brings it back to downtown Tacoma, this time along the Thea Foss Waterway. Organizers are busy finalizing the arts and bands. However, they presently have fundraising on their minds, including the one at 9 p.m. inside The Spar in Old Town Tacoma.  Expect Ava D'Jor, Funny Face Fanny (singing on the bar as well as performing) and Polly Puckerup from the Gritty City Sirens burlesque troupe, as well as DJ Suga Jones spinning '80s New Wave.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Wine tastings!

KEVIN BACON ALERT! >>>

Here are the positive aspects of X-Men: First Class: the special appearance of the vintage blue and yellow X-Men costumes; Pan Am postcard-replicating shots of Cuban beaches with destroyers in the distance; the pleasantly zaftig Mystique; the stupidly nonchalant cameos from character actors Oliver Platt and Michael Ironside; the swarthy, leisure-suit-wearing evil henchmen; Kevin Bacon as a deranged Nazi scientist (much more on that later); and footage of John F. Kennedy pronouncing Cuba as "cuber." The rest is a tale told by an absent Stan Lee, full of blue people and acne, signifying contractual obligations.

To read Rev. Adam McKinney's full review click here.

TAKING MORE CHANCES >>>

Mavi Contemporary Art has a stable of about 20 artists whose works rotate from month to month. I may be wrong, but it seems like three of them, William Turner, Michael Croman and William Quinn, are in almost every show. These three are again featured in Mavi's latest show. To be more accurate, Turner is featured and Croman and Quinn have a strong presence.

Turner's paintings are his latest. I didn't make a note of the dates, but those I did notice were all done this year. As with his previous works, they are large, colorful abstract paintings that relate to landscape, with oddly shaped patches of color that clearly reflect the look of trees, water, mountains and sky. Where the new work differs from Turner's previous work is that these paintings are bigger and more energetic, and with more intense color.

To read Alec Clayton's full review click here.

[Mavi Contemporary Art, 2 - 7 p.m., Wednesday-Sunday, through June 12, 502 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6233]

SUNDAY, JUNE 5, 2011 >>>

1. Performance art in the Tacoma bar scene has typically been one of two things: goldfish races or the awkward courting rituals at the end of a Kry show. Jazzbones will add a third category when it hosts Ten Tiny Dances at 6 p.m.  For those who haven't caught the buzz, Ten Tiny Dances is a stripped down format where 10 dance artists demonstrate astonishing inventiveness and variety on a 4-foot-by-4-foot stage - or about the size of a coffee table. Dinner and drinks will be served, but heckling and betting will not be allowed. All proceeds benefit MLK Ballet's tuition-free dance training.

2. The South Tacoma Farmers Market opens today at the corner of 56th and Washington streets in historic South Tacoma. Expect an array of locally produced and grown delicacies such as: Lamb, beef, pork, poultry, eggs, rabbit, seafood, flowers, vegetables, herbs, strawberries, cherries, baked goods, hot foods, natural skin care products and more from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. every Sunday.  Gateway to India will be on site. Plus, the Lakewood Community Jazz Band and the Whateverly Brothers provide the soundtrack.

3. Pierce College Fort Steilacoom's music program presents 250 singers for a choral celebration of traditional church hymns at 7 p.m. at Pacific Lutheran University's Lagerquist Hall. The collaboration will feature the Pierce College Concert Choir and Chamber Singers, Tacoma Symphony Chorus, Lakes High School Concert Choir, McChord Field Chancel Choir, and Little Church on the Prairie Chancel Choir. In addition, guest singers will be included from Mount Cross Lutheran, Central Lutheran, First Lutheran, and other churches.

4. Northwest Repertory Singers ends its 10^th choral season with an afternoon concert featuring newly commissioned work by Donna Gartman Schultz, along with works by Samuel Barber, Leonard Bernstein and John Corigliano. Expect special guest artists, NWRS alumni and several dignitaries for the 3 p.m. concert at Mason United Methodist Church.

5. Tacoma sludge-metal stalwarts Argonaut will help anchor the musical portion of a day-long no-limit poker tournament at Hell's Kitchen. Losing money has never been more rockin'. Hands of Toil, Lozen, Pioneers West and Thieves Hours join Argonaut at 7 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South sound

LINK: Happy hour!

BAR FOOD BUT BETTER >>>

Through my 15-year stint in the hospitality and live music industry I've come to regard cooks and chefs, and even bartenders at times, as I do some musicians: They have songs they've written and never performed live for an audience. Much of the time, they're the backup band hired to play someone else's songs, slogging through predictable recipes and dishes. Those with passion for the cuisine d'art jump from place to place trying to find a situation that allows them to perform their craft their own way. Until a chef owns a restaurant or space (and can therefore truly make whatever they're inclined to), they're often much like a hermit crab trying new shells to see what fits.

In just a few short years chef Aaron Grissom has gotten his feet very wet in the South Sound culinary scene. Most recently, Grissom developed the fresh bar fusion menu featured at Gruv Nightclub & Lounge when it opened last fall, then Tacoma's only electro-dance club. (Gruv has since changed menus and motifs.)

When things soured between General Manager Calvin Murphy and owner Jason Rim, Grissom sought what he hoped would be fertile ground for his menu ideas at Varsity Grill downtown. Sadly, that proved not to be a fit, but Grissom will be back on Sixth Avenue, at Dirty Oscar's Annex, this month to take the position vacated by Kyle Wnuk, who departs July 1 for a co-venture with Jamie Kay and Jason Jones at Marrow down the block.

To read Jennifer Johnson's full story click here.

[Dirty Oscar's Annex, 2309 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.0588]

MONDAY, JUNE 6, 2011 >>>

1. Catch purveyors of pop, Plateau, tonight at Le Voyeur in Olympia. Here's what the Volcano's Adam McKinney had to say about the band.

2. Monday night means one thing on Sixth Avenue in Tacoma - Rockaraoke at Jazzbones! It's the perfect opportunity to get your Jager bomb on! Find details here. Or, if Ed Hardy isn't your scene, peruse the Volcano's extensive South Sound live local music listings here.

3. Drop in on the Monday Meditation Meetup today at The Center in Lakewood. Find more info here. Find the Volcano's comprehensive South Sound arts and events calendar here for more awesome entertainment options.

4. Moon Daddy will rock The Swiss tonight. Just sayin'.

5. Vote for Tacoma's best baristas, politicians, bloggers, bartenders and local businesses in the only 253 "Best Of" issue that matters. The Volcano's annual Best of Tacoma issue publishes July 28, and this year's readers' poll launched last week. Let your vote be heard now! Find all the details here.