REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

TEN THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU WANT TO TEND BAR

In a conversation about this blog, and what it takes to do our job, my co-workers and I compiled this important list.

Ten Things You Need to Know if You Want to Tend Bar

(And none of them have anything to do with how to muddle lemons)

1.    Know how to tell a funny joke.

2.    Know how to properly rack/ break when starting a game of pool.

3.    Know how to open a bottle of beer with a lighter, and know how to properly "shotgun" a beer.

4.    Know how to laugh naturally, even if you can't hear a word the person is saying.

5.    Know how to sell/make coffee on a hot day.

6.    If you know nothing about sports, know how to fake your way through a sports conversation.

7.    Know how to insult people without them realizing it.

8.    Know how to remember a person's drink over their name - it goes a lot farther.

9.    Know how to read your audience - know when to say, "Of course, whatever you'd like," and when to say, "Screw you buddy."

10.   Know how to simultaneously perform at least four of these items, all while keeping your cool.

Hope you enjoyed this list, and hope you're enjoying the sun!

Bonus*

Recommended drink to try for summer refreshment: Tom Collins - made the old way, with gin, fresh squeezed lemon or lime, a touch of sweetener (not sweet and sour mix) and finished with soda water. Garnish and sip.

LINK HUB: The "Behind Bars" collection