IT HAPPENED SATURDAY IN TACOMA >>>
Saturday at the Foss Waterway Seaport building Tacoma's increasingly-legendary rollerderby bad-asses, the Dockyard Derby Dames, celebrated the league's championship bout. The night's first bout, the Maurading Mollys vs. Femme Fianna, warmed things up for the big showdown, Hellbound Homewreckers vs. the Trampires - a grudge match battle for all the 2011 glory.
The Volcano's Steph DeRosa was on hand to track the action ...
BOUT 1: Maurading Mollys vs. Femme Fianna
This bout was about who would come in third place and who would end up in last place. Retiring from the Dockyard, some of my favorite Mollys and Fiannas said their goodbyes before the bout began, showing careless disregard to anyone who got in their way on this evening and adding nothing but tension to the bout. The retiring Dames had nothing left to lose, and it showed in their game.
I had to wait all the way until Jam 5 to see my girl, Misty Miyagi, hit the floor as jammer, but it was well worth the wait. By Jam 7 the score was Mollys (37) and Fiannas (12) - but that didn't matter. I knew everyone was skating with all the passion they could muster.
Jam 10 featured Skate Paulie Girl once again pulling a grand slam (plus one point) out of her ass, thus making her retirement from the Dockyard that much more bittersweet. Mass grand slams were achieved by rockstar rollergirls such as Hit O' Honey, Anita Hit Sum Won and Snickerbrutal - just to name a few.
Props to jammer Layla Lawdown of the Mollys for putting up a great fight against Fianna's jammer, Snickerbrutal in Jam 15 of the second half. Playing defense and being lead jammer? Crazy shit.
Heidi Flyss of the Mollys fell to injury during Jam 18 of the second half. After specifically crawling to the center to get off the track, officials called off the jam and Flyss was made to sit out three jams - something only done when a player is injured and stuck on the track.
Jam 17: FF- 79, MM-141
Final: FF-102, MM- 159
BOUT TWO: Hellbound Homewreckers vs. The Trampires
What started with a one-point win in the last few minutes of a previous bout between the Homewreckers and Trampires has been taken to a grueling level of friendly competition and playful animosity.
Dubbed the "grudge match" by many DYDD fans, Saturday's championship bout held all the excitement we'd been promised.
Too bad damn near everyone left the arena before the second bout even began.
Like clockwork the stands cleared of spectators, vendor booths packed up and left, and even the food tent run by Three Chicks Catering was gone by the beginning of the second bout. This amazes me, and to be quite honest, frustrates me just a bit. This lowers the importance of what was supposed to be (to me) the main event - the CHAMPIONSHIP bout!
Just as with every seemingly every other second bout in DYDD history, not only were the fans tired by the time it rolled around - so were the officials. You could tell because they stopped the game with an "official time out" every few jams in order to re-count the score. Yawn.
But with the bad comes the good - and this bout just reiterated why people shouldn't leave before the second bout.
From Jam 11 of the first half on, the score between Homewreckers and Trampires was neck-and-neck the entire bout.
Here's a simple score record:
Jam 11: HH-27, TT-28
Jam 15: HH-36, TT-40
Halftime: HH-65, TT-65
Jam 6: HH-73, TT-73
Jam 9: HH-73, TT-82
Jam 14 (Top): HH-87, TT-86
...And then... TWIGGIE SMALLS of the Hellbound Homewreckers takes over as lead jammer!
Twiggie's weaving, dodging, bouncing, and agility on skates is completely indescribable. She's resilient to anything in her way, and squeezes through the pack like she's been greased up at Jiffy Lube.
Jam 14: (Bottom) HH-96, TT-96
Even with amazing defensive blockers like Ivanna Pound U and speedy jammers like Betty Driddler, the Hellbound Homewreckers couldn't keep the points away from The Trampires.
Final: HH-107, TT-128
My thoughts after a season of attending DYDD bouts:
-Doug Mackey as a seat partner is pure distraction.
-Trampires need to put their numbers next to their pictures in the program.
-All vendors should stay the entire bout, although...
-Two bouts in one evening really is too long. (I'm old.)
-I love the announcers, but can't understand what they're saying.
-Liesl Diesel and Melanie Rushforth talked way too much about their vaginas this bout.
-I love being in the VIP section.
-Vitamin V is a miracle worker.
-I don't think I saw Rocky Hardplace skate this season.
-I almost cried when saying goodbye to Skate Paulie Girl (now retired).
OH! And speaking of Skate Paulie Girl - she went to blows with Maurading Molly's Vicious Divalicious at the end of the first bout! I wasn't too quick with my camera, but here's a brief interview with Skate Paulie Girl after the bout.