FRIDAY, JULY 1, 2011 >>>

1. The music that Future Bass residency produces falls into the glitch-hop/indy electroclash/heavy electro dance music category, and they have the talent and the know-how to push glitch-hop further than we knew it could go. Electro poster boys DJ Broam, Bobby Galaxy and E.S. of Fab-5 will lay down squiggly squeaks, breaky beats, distorted hip-hop samples, wobbling bass lines, clean taps, eerie synthesized keys and more beginning at 9:30 p.m. - surrounded by projected video and live visuals - inside the Tempest Lounge. Bonus: $3.75 wells.

2. Speaking of eeriness and alcohol fun ... the Washington State History Museum's First Friday Pre-Pub Gallery Talk just so happens to be about the secrets of ancient beer making, as well as other mythological mysteries. Tied to the special exhibition Wrapped! The Search for the Essential Mummy, these 3:30 p.m. gallery talks are led by exhibit curator Stephanie Lile. And the treasure of the tomb? Special deals from fellow beer worshipers: The Harmon and Pyramid Ales, The Ram and The Swiss.

3. The Tacoma Mob Riders are hitting the streets - and booze - once again. Shoving off from The Goldfish Tavern at 7 p.m., the bicyclists will travel to North End Tacoma pubs and bars dressed in patriot garb. God bless America!

4. Tacoma Rainiers games are pretty exciting. We regularly blog this fact here. At 7 p.m. the excitement goes sky high as it's "Celebrate the Centennial of Naval Aviation" night at Cheney Stadium. This special night will feature a game against the Fresno Grizzlies, military activities, a special centennial tribute and fireworks.

5. Some people don't like to dance. They don't like sweaty dance floors, heavy bass and pumping fists. They don't like short skirts, flirty looks and grinding on strangers. They don't like to see men in skintight shirts belt out all the words to Lady Gaga, or women with dreaded hair hop up and down to the newest Too Short song. Yep, some people don't like to dance. We call them wimps. And you won't see them beginning at 9 p.m. for one of the best dance nights in Tacoma - gay-friendly Club Silverstone.

LINK: More arts and entertainment event sin the South Sound

LINK: Movies open!

REAL STORIES FROM REAL BARTENDERS >>>

I've been a bartender for a long time. I have met countless freaks, jerks, pervs, sweethearts, rockstars and crazies. Even though it's a physically and mentally exhausting job, these are the colorful people that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and the tips.

I'd like to share with you some of my personal experiences behind the bar, along with the stories from some of my fellow bartenders. Each week - under the clever heading of "Behind Bars" - I will dig into my memory bank - and the incident log books that all bars keep - to bring you some of my favorite stories.

Names of bars, bartenders and patrons have been changed or withheld to protect the innocent.

And the not so innocent.

Cheers!

This week...

Flash - back

This week takes us to 2007, and an eager exhibitionist. ...

I remember working one night, a pretty regular night by bar standards. People were yelling to one another about skate sessions, medical marijuana or burlesque dancers, trying to compete with the noise of the jukebox, when a young gutter punk came through the door. Dressed head to toe in patched-up skinny leather clothes, he sat at the bar claiming to have just hopped a train from San Francisco.

He orders a beer, and seems to settle in, removing his beanie and tapping a finger to the drum beat in Motorhead's "Ace of Spades.  Everything seems in order.

Then, all of a sudden, the gutter punk hops up from the bar stool, quickly drops his skinny black pants, and lets a raging boner greet the bar - hips thrust forward, smile on his face. He then proceeds to drape his beanie over his boner and does a sort of slow circle with the lower half of his body.

Everybody in the bar is completely stunned. It's like he's a snake charmer and has us mesmerized, except that this is the wrong kind of snake.

Finally, the gutter punk and his exposed boner are approached by my fellow bartender, and the kid recoils into a blur of clothing, punching, cussing and undoubtedly some penis flailing.

As the sausage-swinging sociopath from San Francisco was ushered out of the bar everyone cheered.

This week, I'd like to encourage the few readers I have, (hi, Aunt Lois!) to share any crazy bar stories they might have. So have a stiff one, and drop a story in the comment box.

Cheers!

LINK HUB: The "Behind Bars" collection

ESCOVEDO STEPS IN >>>

Jobs can be like marriages at times. When they don't work the ending can be ugly and drawn out, or irreconcilable differences can be cited and the two parties can simply move on.

The second scenario describes the case with the very recent departure of general manager Brandon Escovedo from Gruv Lounge & Nightclub. Now, Escovedo joins the crew at Backstage Bar and Grill. He officially took on the role of general manager at the Sixth Avenue club on Monday, June 27.

Escovedo says that, until his arrival, Backstage owner Joy Hutt had been doing everything trying to run the place herself. "That's a lot of hold down," says Escovedo. "She'd talked to me about stepping in before; the time just wasn't right until now."

As a previous executive chef with a long history of working the culinary side of things, one of the first changes Escovedo will make as GM is to update the live music venue's menu. "Fresh quality casual" is how he describes what will soon be offered.

"Just because it's a bar doesn't mean the food should be sub par," says Escovedo. "There's a real change happening in this area in what's on bar menus."

Escovedo shares that he has no intention of pricing out the bar's clientele or creating a menu that requires a culinary dictionary to decipher. "Inexpensive doesn't have to mean cheap or blah," he tells me. Prices will range from $5 to $14. Look for slow braised riblets and other bar food items.

A two-foot chilidog, the "Tommy Dawg," is a 20-minute food challenge. That's right - power that sucker down in 20 minutes and it's free. Tongue in cheek names for some menu items support the rock 'n' roll theme of the Backstage Bar and Grill. In addition a new, non-fussy lunch and evening menu will be available at Backstage by July 5.

[Backstage Bar and Grill, Open daily 11 a.m. - 2 a.m., 6409 Sixth Avenue, Tacoma]

HIGHLIGHT FROM OUR SUMMER GUIDE >>>

If you aren't scared of the dark, or the possibility of running into Sasquatch (as this is his rumored stomping grounds, and this is not a beef jerky commercial nor is John Lithgow your dad), grab your hiking gear and flashlights and visit the Ape Caves, located at Mount St. Helens.

Boasting the longest lava tube in the United States, with over two miles of underground hiking made possible by scorching hot magma that traveled through thousands of years ago, the Ape Caves are less scenic and more adventurous.

The first part of the cave hike is a cinch - a bit chilly but pretty much a nice, dark walk through the lava-created cave, complete with slimy walls. It's a neat, roughly hour-long experience. The second cave, however, is not for the faint of heart. Think: boulder piles, an eight-foot lava fall and two and a half hours of pitch black, athletic activity. There's a reason three light sources are recommended along with extra batteries, lest you intend on trapping yourself in a horror flick starring creatures of the deep.

After your adventure you can take in some sunshine and the local scenery that involves trees. 

LINK: Summer guide 2011

LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. Tacoma Metal Prom, with CFA, Sleeper Cell, Yuck Fou, DJ Melodica. 9 pm. $5.

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Second Hand Newz (Fleetwood Mac tribute), R.A.F. 9 pm.

Louie G's Pizzeria Fife. Atomic Outlaws, Amadon, The Fail Safe Project, Dread Effect. All Ages. 8 pm.

Lucky Eagle Casino Rochester. Jonathan Harris. 9 pm. NC.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. Andrea Lockwood 6 pm. China Davis 7 pm. Stained By A Killer 8 pm. NC.

Maxwell's Speakeasy Tacoma. Lance Buller Trio. 7-10 pm. NC.

The New Frontier Lounge Tacoma - Dome District. The Fucking Eagles, Night Beats, Basemint, The Cigarette Bums. 9 pm.

Old General Store Steakhouse & Saloon Roy. Robbie Walden. 9 pm.

The Royal Lounge Olympia - Downtown. Swing Dance, with Lizzy Boyer, Joe Baque, Steve Luceno, Richard Lopez. 7 pm. $5.

The Spar Olympia. Merrill Lite. All Ages. 7 pm. NC.

Stonegate Pizza Tacoma - South. Jerry Miller Band. 9 pm. NC.

Uncle Sam's American Bar & Grill Spanaway. Failed Sobriety, Inside The Gates, Tork, Grunge. 9 pm.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

IT HAPPENED IN OR AROUND T-TOWN THIS WEEK >>>

What better way to celebrate America's independence than with news and rumors about an election that's a year and a half away. This week saw visits from hopeful representatives, declarations of candidacies, and even a heavyweight change his mind. Forget the fact that we have a 2011 election to decide in a few short months - this week it was all about 2012.

To read the full column by Zach Powers click here.

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Today's comment comes from Tornado in response to our recent preview of Caffe Dei's one-year anniversary, being celebrated right now at Caffe (from 5-8 p.m. Friday afternoon) with a vegan BBQ cookout.

Tornado writes,

Here's another example of well-intentioned, slightly humorous, and annoying patronizing writing. I bet I'm not the only reader of the Volcano than can handle a review of a vegan-friendly (they do serve dairy) cafe without first being warned that many people perceive vegans as freaks. It's great that your covering progressive food purveyors in Tacoma -- their prevalence shows that there's a market for it, so quit acting like we can't handle it without having enlightened Volcano writers hold our hands.

SATURDAY, JULY 2, 2011 >>>

1. When we were kids we'd search trash piles for pieces of plywood, place them at the edge of the puddle, run full speed, jump with force onto the board, and leave the rest to physics. No tricks. No judging. No wetsuit with the brands of sponsors embossed. No TV. No money. Just fun. Alas, these days are long past. Today, there called skimboards - light, hard-foam boards with traction pads enable the best to take off at a sprint, skim over wet sand out to breaking waves, soar off them like ramps, and land with the grace of a settling leaf. While surfers wait a long time for the perfect wave, skimmers can ride 40 in an hour. From 10 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. skimboarders will gather at Dash Point State Park to skim it out for cash money for the pro division.

2. If you have to go inside, check out Parenthetically Speaking: It's Only a Figure of Speech - a new collection of work by San Francisco-based artist Mildred Howard comprising more than 40 glass punctuation marks, proofreading symbols and musical notes - opening today at the Museum of Glass from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Howard's inspiration for the work came from At the End, a poem by her friend and Peabody Award-winner Quincy Troupe.

3. The third annual Olympia Independent Music Festival goes down from noon to 9 p.m. today and tomorrow in Sylvester Park. Thirteen bands, two days and immeasurable amounts of good indie music are in store. The Hard Way, Romanteek, Glass Elevator, One Nation Undereducated and Hollywood Kill Krew are just a few of the bands performing at this free, all-ages event.

4. Some nights we like to stake out a place at a venue and hang out for a while, maybe have a meal, a few adult beverages, and listen to music that doesn't invite itself into our head with an axe handle. The Mandolin Café is likely to be such a place tonight, where singer-songwriter Gina Belliveau holds her CD release party with musician friends James Coates, Nick Sandy and Travis Barker opening.Coates kicks off the night at 6 p.m. Belliveau sings about birds and books, forests and fireflies beginning at 9 p.m. You'll receive a raffle ticket with every CD purchase. The winning ticket will receive the painting Stacia Weber works throughout the night. The Mandolin serves a tasty Cabernet.

5. The Spazmatics rock covers of '80s synth-heavy bands while dressed as if starring in a Revenge of the Nerds flick. Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands ... beginning at 9:30 p.m. inside Jazzbones.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Wine tastings!

SUNDAY, JULY 3, 2011 >>>

1. Billed as "twang infused Recession Rock," heavy on the banjo, strum guitar and snare drum (and don't you forget it), Pato Milo (San Francisco's Big Chicken Dinner) and Allan Canumay (Seattle's Jettison) of Dead Cat Hat will drop into The New Frontier in Tacoma around 9 p.m.

2. Wings & Wheels will take off at the Tacoma Narrows Airport from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. It's an aviation event with a car and motorcycle show - featuring live entertainment, amusements for kids, race cars, WWII B-17 and B-25 aircraft rides and tours, helicopter rides, and the Smoke 'N' Thunder Jet Dragster making a 300 mph run down the runway.

3. It's simple math, really. Chips plus salsa plus burrito equals what? A Shirley Temple? No, no. A margarita. That's right, whether on the rocks or crushed to a fine blend, everybody loves a tasty margarita. And Moctezumas in Tacoma knows a little something about tasty margaritas. Every Sunday beginning at 11 a.m., Moctezumas offers $4.75 Clasico Margaritas all day long. That's delicious ice, mixer and tequila all for less than an Abe Lincoln per glass.      

4. The third annual Olympia Independent Music Festival goes down from noon to 9 p.m. in Sylvester Park. Thirteen bands, two days and immeasurable amounts of good indie music are in store. The Hard Way, Romanteek, Glass Elevator, One Nation Undereducated and Hollywood Kill Krew are just a few of the bands performing at this free, all-ages event.

5. Over the past decade, there has been an increased focus in indie rock on catharsis - of not shying away from emotion, of not acting cool about the weight of the world. Slam Dunk continue that celebration of emotion. Catch them at 8 p.m. with Pat Jordache and Greek Life for an all-ages show at Northern in downtown Olympia.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight in the South Sound

WARM UP >>>

You're going to be celebrating the anniversary of our nation's independence soon (right?). Thing is, you can't just jump into that kind of hardcore partying without a warm-up - you'll pull a ligament in your brew-crushing hand (or in both hands, if you're an ambi-partier). You can get your pre-game on at Jazzbones tonight. Go through all the paces with food, booze and the State Of Independence Tour with Sanjaya Malakar (American Idol Season 6 participant), Brave Chandeliers and Chris Blair.

What? Partying isn't appropriate at an all-ages show? Kids didn't seem to bother you last family Fourth of July when you got loaded then put Uncle Billy's stomach ulcer on display pulling his finger next to Grandma Rita's green-bean casserole before you passed out in a pink kid's chair.

State Of Independence Tour

with Sanjaya Malakar, Brave Chandeliers and Chris Blair
Sunday, July 3, 7 p.m., all ages, $7-$10
Jazzbones, 2803 Sixth Ave., Tacoma
253.396.9169

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound