FAMILY FEUD: The Talottas nailed it

By Nikki Talotta on January 17, 2012

NIKKI TALOTTA AND FAMILY ARE FEELING LUCKY >>>

Some people say I'm lucky. I've won blackjack tournaments and essay contests; I've won radio show trivia for board games and concert tickets; once I even won a trip to London to see Muse at Royal Albert Hall.

Some say it's luck. I just say I try. My latest bout of "luck" has been with game shows. Recently I was chosen via-video audition to attend a final audition for the Wheel of Fortune. Lady Luck was not with me that day, however, as my son gave me a stomach bug, and hours before the show I was poised over the toilet, violently vomiting with curlers in my hair. With sweat dripping down my brow - I was persistent - "The show must go on!" I proclaimed, as I downed Imodium AD and bombed the audition.

But, perhaps, it was fate. Because just a few days later, the Weekly Volcano reported that the Family Feud would be holding contestant auditions at South Hill Mall!

I quickly followed the link and phoned like 10 family members. At our Christmas party, we drunkenly attempted to make a video to submit, thought better of it, and sent a witty email to try and ensure a spot for the auditions instead.

A few days later, Team Talotta got the confirmation letter! Excitement swelled inside me as I called my aunties and cousins, chatting about what we'd wear, and how we'd stand, and most importantly, who Team Talotta would be comprised of. Our own family feud had begun.

Shit, I didn't realize 10 of us were crazy enough to go on the show. The first thing we had to do was narrow it down to five or six. So we cut the quiet ones, and the flakey ones, and then finally my own husband was cut, as we deemed it appropriate that in-laws don't count. (Sorry, honey.)

So, team Talotta was complete. Me, my big brother, my goofy mom, my smarty-pants aunt and my motivational speaker cousin. Solid.

The morning of the big day arrived, and as promised, I provided my team with a continental breakfast, complete with jelly-filled frosted cinnamon roles, fresh coffee and orange juice. After a few trial runs on my cousin's family feud phone app, we piled in our cars and braved the snowy roads up to the fine city of Puyallup.

When we arrived, the parking lot was ridiculous, as no one could see the lines where to park so cars were randomly positioned wherever. Inside the mall, families were just as ridiculous, everyone checking their paperwork, with everyone wandering around trying to figure out where to go.

Finally, we got to the check-in line, where a sprite little lady was making name tags. I told her my name was Nikki, and she could go ahead and spell that W-I-N-N-E-R - which she did. Awesome.

There were three stages hosting the auditions. We were at stage "C," near Macy's. There was paperwork to be filled out, and as families bowed over their clipboards, classic rock played in an attempt to pump up the crowd. So, I began throwing up horns and singing along, encouraging my family to do the same. I even got the cameraman involved and slapping me high fives. The other families stayed fixed on their paperwork.

Soon, our host Carlos arrived, all sweaty and energetic, and the games began. The first few families did all right, and eased the tension a little bit. Then, it was our turn. We flew out of our seats, ready to play. I showed my good sportsmanship by shaking the hand of the other team's captain, and then flawlessly introduced my players.

The first question was, "Name a country that is known for having macho men." I didn't hit the buzzer fast enough, and the other family guessed a few right answers. So our job was to get in a huddle and come up with an answer to steal, if we got the chance.

Three strikes and the other team was out. We completely exploded out of our huddle, prompting the host to say, "See, that's how you do it!" We stole the game when I answered, "Right here in the USA!"

We played another round, showing off our spunk and wit, winning again, and riling up the audience. It's funny how our family dynamic and nuances seem completely normal to us, like when my mom started slapping my brother's hand and shouting that she couldn't hear. It was freaking hilarious to other people, again prompting the host to comment, "The feud is supposed to be the other team."

Anyway, it was super fun, and we walked away feeling like we nailed it. We will receive a postcard by Feb 5 if we are chosen. Family Feud would then fly us to a taping sometime in the next year, where we would have the chance to win up to $100,000 and a new car!

Know what? I'm feeling lucky.