Be Washington state's chief weed advisor

By Volcano Staff on January 31, 2013


Area woman Aunt Mary marked a new level of commitment to her marijuana habit by grabbing her bong, "Ol' Frederick Greenmeister," and filling out the paperwork to be Washington state's pot consultant. Yesterday, during her break at the licensing department, Aunt Mary joined the sea of ponytails and flannel at a briefing in Tacoma hosted by the Liquor Control Board. The agency is looking for an advisor who knows weed, inside and out, and could assist in developing regulations.

The 37-year-old feels her nightly ritual of smoking several ounces of marijuana and then microwaving a turkey pot pie gives her cred for the new position.

"Sure, I might not have the five years of regulatory experience, or the preferred law degree, but ask Ol' Frederick Greenmeister, I certainly have the extensive knowledge of all things marijuana," said Aunt Mary.

After passing a law legalizing the recreations use of marijuana this fall, Washington state must set up a system of state-licensed growers, processors, retail stores and such where adults can score an ounce of heavily taxed cannabis.

"I'm not saying Mr. Greenmeister has a soul or anything like that," Aunt Mary said with a cackle. "But I mean, how cool would it be if I was allowed to bring my bong to my new office at the Liquor Control Board."

Aunt Mary then affectionately chucked the bong where its chin might be.