South Sound Sidekick series offers advice from experts living in the, well, South Sound. It posts every Friday. Today, BandBoi87 has advice on how to manage your band from your office cubicle and not get caught.
Disclaimer: The methods described in this column are based on the personal experience of BandBoi87. All information contained herein is not guaranteed to work for anyone else. If you don't have access to a computer or smartphone at work you are fucked. If you don't have autonomy at your job you are fucked. But if you are smart and don't act like a greedy pig ... it just might work.
I work a stupid job because my awesome band makes shitty money. I want the band to succeed but I also want to pay my bills and eat food regularly. This is some advice for how to run your band out of your 9-5 job without getting fired. I'll be spewing more of this on Twitter @bandboi87 so go there. More important than any one of these tips ... USE COMMON SENSE. If it feels like a bad idea to work on your band's bio when you're racing to meet a deadline at work ... it probably is.
1. Use timed posting devices on social media sites.
Facebook, Twitter, Wordpress and many other social networking sites allow you to time the release of your posts. So instead of waiting until the coast is clear at your job then Net-bombing the entire planet, you can plan your posts the day before or even weeks beforehand. This is especially helpful for Twitter, where you can post all day long, say nothing, and yet feel as though something was accomplished.
2. Use your phone as much as possible.
If you have a smartphone, use it. If you don't, get one. If you need to send an email to a booker or check in on the status of your press kit, DO NOT send it through your work email. There are so many reasons why this should be obvious but I'll explain. Your band looks stupid if you're sending emails from your work email. Period. Nothing says "clueless weekend warrior" faster than this. Unfortunately I've seen it happen! Your company can monitor your Internet and email usage any time. Don't log in to company Wi-Fi with your phone or laptop either. Use your data plan and stay discreet.
3. Be nice at work.
This should be obvious. When you are operating like this, you can't be a prick. I mean, you CAN be a prick but you will be weeded out quickly. Treat your colleagues like gold, make them laugh, bring in food and make them truly like you. People who like you will cover your ass, overlook your wandering focus and possibly love your band if you treat them right.
4. Don't be a greedy pig.
Yes, your job sucks. Yes, they put a lot of pressure on you and it takes up a lot of the time you could be creative. But they are paying you to be there. Presumably, they'd like you to give a shit. Don't spend all your work time doing stuff for your band. Your colleagues, even the ones who support you, will lose patience when you make them wait to complete a task or don't follow through. Make sure you cover your bare minimums at all times. You want to be invisible. The fewer questions asked the better!!!
5. Don't EVER call in sick after a gig.
So your band played a great set, sold a bunch of T-shirts and stayed till the end of the show, getting home at 3 a.m. ... and you have to get up at 6 a.m. for work! Do it. Nothing will ostracize you from your job quicker than unplanned absences that are clearly related to your band. With Facebook, Twitter, and so many other ways for people to check on you, make sure you're not giving them a reason to doubt you.
Managing a band is a lot of work. It can be done effectively at your 9-5 job but it's important to respect the people you work for. It's also important to realize that this is just the beginning. If you achieve one-tenth of the success you're expecting, you will end up working much harder along the way! Treat people right, don't slack and it may just work out.
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