Weekly Volcano Blogs: Walkie Talkie Blog

November 20, 2013 at 2:42pm

Judging by the Trailer: "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire"

"The Hunger Games: Catching Fire" - a delicious middle course?

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Note: Unfortunately, I am not able to do a proper review of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, due to a crippling bowling accident that has left my hands in a state unfit for typing. Rather than hiring a typist to take dictation (as I've done for this preamble, at quite an expense), I'll instead reprint this ill-fated instant messaging conversation between my precocious 14-year-old cousin, Jeneva, and myself.

Jeneva: OMG COUSIN ADAM!! Have you seen the preview for the new HUNGER GAMES?

Adam: What? There's another one of those? I'll take a look. Oh, and HELLO, Jeneva. Kids...

Jeneva: WELL? What do you think? Wanna see it with me opening day??

Adam: I mean, I never saw the first one. Mostly this trailer just seemed like gobbledygook. Am I getting it right that there's a character named Marvel played by an actor named Jack Quaid? Good lord.

Jeneva: BUT IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL I"M CRYING COUSIN ADAM WHY ARE YOU SUCH A JERK?!

Adam: OK! Calm down. I mean, it looks fine. I like Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Donald Sutherland and Woody Harrelson and all that.

Jeneva: Who?

Adam: Never mind.

Jeneva: KATNISS IS SO PRETTY.

Adam: I guess so. Why is she still fighting in the Hunger Games? Didn't that end in the first one?

Jeneva: I thought you said you never saw it! HAHA.

Adam: I didn't, I just...

Jeneva: HAHA.

Adam: Stop it.

Jeneva: OMFG YOU SAW THE HUNGER GAMES AND YOU'RE A GROWN MAN WITH NO GIRLFRIEND AND A JOB THAT'S NOT EVEN REALLY REAL!!

Adam: Wow, that's really mean and accurate.

Jeneva: You probably forgot you saw it because you drink too much and you should have gone to college and your haircut looks stupid and everyone knows that you're a fraud.

Adam: What?

Jeneva: HAHAHA.

Adam: ...

Jeneva: Cousin Adam...?

Adam: I don't want to see this movie with you any more.

Jeneva: NO! Come on, I was just joking.

Adam: I can't believe I paid for your archery classes. YOU WILL NEVER BE KATNISS EVERDEEN. This Internet chat is over!

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