Judging by the Trailer: "Devil's Due"

By Rev. Adam McKinney on January 15, 2014

Dear lord, it's another one. A scant two weeks following the release of Paranormal Activity's fifth perfunctory installment, The Marked Ones, a nation finds itself faced with the grim reality that there is yet another limp found footage movie to capitalize on our apparently continued fear of demonic possession. At least, this time around, the title's a pun, which is always more than welcome.

Let's start with that title, since that is surely what the writers did. Oh, how I would've loved to have duct-taped a camera to an oscillating fan for that pitch meeting.

"I don't know, what if it's about a demon baby and we called it Devil's Due?"

"Fred, you're a genius! Get me salmon pages by Monday!"

As for the trailer, well, it's exhausting. That's it. The main feeling I came away with after those two minutes was just pure exhaustion. Boy meets girl, boy films girl, boy never stops filming girl, reviewer wonders how they can ever approach anything even close to a normal life if one half of the couple just never stops filming stuff, girl gets possessed, girl gives birth to wretched freak of nature, blah blah barf.

A big upside to making these chintzy found-footage movies is that you save so much money on production costs that you can afford to do bullshit promotional stunts like setting loose an animatronic devil baby on the streets of New York to needlessly punish passersby for being compassionate. But what kind of assholes would endeavor to do a stupid and mean-spirited thing like that? Only the worst kind of person!

Ah, well, that settles that, I guess.

See Devil's Due in theaters! It's made by people who hate good samaritans and also babies and definitely cinema as an art form and oh why not they probably also think that global warming is a myth!

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