Considering the rich history of cheap, hastily produced films aimed at a Christian audience, it's sort of surprising how infrequently a high-profile version of that - like Son of God - comes around. On the whole, Christian moviegoers have never quite wanted for movies that pander to them, but it's the rare occurrence when something like The Passion of the Christ comes down the pike. Consider the recent "War on Christmas" screed, Last Ounce of Courage, which would be laughable if it weren't so infuriating.

This is not to say that Son of God isn't a cheap, hastily produced cash grab - it totally is. What makes Son of God special is that it's already a proven success. Cobbled together from the parts of the hugely successful 10-part miniseries The Bible that feature Jesus Christ, it's a unique bit of cynical marketing. "Viewers were so enthralled by the free miniseries," the producers of Son of God seem to say, "that they will surely pay a premium to see a drastically condensed version!"

Now, to be fair, Son of God does have new footage unseen in the miniseries. Another word for this footage is "deleted scenes," you know, like the kind you might theoretically find as a special feature on the DVD of The Bible.

The makers of Son of God are clearly generous people. One thing that fans of the miniseries will be thrilled to learn is that the theatrical version has retained all of those chintzy television production values. Finally, Jesus' flock will be able to see the lord walk on pixelated water on the glory that is the silver screen! Thankfully excised, however, will be the presence of Satan, who was tastefully cast to be the spitting image of President Obama.

My advice would be to pick up your tickets now; lots of parishes have already reserved theaters around the country. Or, you could wait until Darren Aronofsky (you know, like, an artist) releases his Noah next month. Something tells me that won't be received in quite the same way as Last Ounce of Courage.