Nerd Alert! - New Wonka chapter, Tick returns, Prof. John Stark meets Masonapron ...

By Rev. Adam McKinney on September 2, 2014

A New Chapter for Charlie

In children's literature news, nerds the world over should be happy to discover that a previously unreleased chapter from an early draft of Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has been published on the website of The Guardian. In the early stages of this story, Dahl delighted in the maiming of still more disobedient children, in what must have surely been an almost unending cavalcade of adolescent suffering.

How Dahl loathed children. His obsession with making them pay is wonderfully present in the unearthed excerpt, which finds the remaining eight kids finding a room marked "Vanilla Fudge" - the worst incarnation of fudge, to be sure - that contains a five-story mountain of the sweet stuff. After frolicking on and around the mountain, it comes time, once again, for some kids to be assholes, resulting in them being whisked off to the chopping and smashing room, which is pretty harsh, even for Roald Dahl.

One of these days, I'd like to see some sort of film wherein Tim Burton's many deplorable cinematic remakes are made to tour a candy factory of horrors and pay for their various sins. The chopping and smashing room would be too good for Burton's take on Wonka.

The Tick Returns

Fans of the bizarre TV show The Tick will have much to rejoice about, with the announcement that Amazon has ordered a reboot of the live-action FOX curiosity. Though the show only ran for 10 episodes, it gained a cult following due to its ramshackle charm, sly wit and frankly insane take on the gimmick-heavy trend in '90s superhero comics - seeing a real person on a silly tick costume only added to the strangeness of the show.

No word, yet, on when the pilot will premier on Amazon, but here's hoping it can live up to the earlier version's shaggy energy.

A Musical Melange and Evening Conversation: Friday, September 5

"John Stark Presents: a Musical Melange and Evening Conversation" is a rather conceptual event that combines the studious obsessions of ecology and composition. With music tying the evening together, Professor John Stark of Washington State University will be present to lead a discussion on toxic elements in nature, and man's role in preserving purity or exacerbating the problem. All in all, it'll be a heady show, with Stark taking the audience through the effects of toxins on the Puget Sound, focusing on its sea creature inhabitants.

In addition, music nerds will be treated to Nicolas Hartzell on piano, a debut performance from the Br'ers, and Caroline Sweetheart presenting works from master composers Bach and John Cage. After a Q&A session, Tacoma rock band Masonapron will close out the evening. There's a sliding scale of suggested donations for entry to this odd event, which should provide an abundance of high-minded food for thought and beautifully unique musical performances. Northern Pacific Coffee Company, 7 p.m., 401 Garfield St., Tacoma, $5-$15, 253.537.8338