Deleting its iCloud account, this is Nerd Alert, the Weekly Volcano's recurring events calendar devoted to all things nerdy. I myself am a Star Wars fan, mathlete, and spelling bee champion of long standing, so trust me: I grok whereof I speak.

THURSDAY, SEPT. 11

Thursday's screenings offer a last round of chances to catch the 30th-anniversary re-release of the 1980s' most essential comedy, Ghostbusters, on the big screen. Mother pus bucket! Many Shuvs and Zuuls will know what it is to be roasted in the depths of the Slor this day, I can tell you!

SATURDAY, SEPT. 13

It was a tearful ordeal in the geek community when Pluto, erstwhile friend of Interplanet Janet, was downgraded from full-on member of the post-Copernican pantheon to trans-Neptunian dwarf planet in August 2006. Some of us still haven't gotten over it, despite the fact that Pluto isn't in the ecliptic and has a larger cousin, Eris, farther out in the Kuiper Belt. Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson was obliged to write an entire book, The Pluto Files, in defense of the International Astronomical Union's decision. One little girl, Madeline, actually wrote Tyson to say, "Some people like pluto (sic). If it doesn't exist then they don't have a favorite planet." Madeline added, "Please write back, but not in cursive because I can't read cursive." Awww! So bring your wee ones out to the plane'arium, learn more about frigid little Pluto out there in the solar 'burbs, and have fun explaining to your wide-eyed progeny why small things are undeserving of equal treatment in an ostensibly ethical society.

PLUTO, THE FORGOTTEN PLANET, 2 p.m., Pierce College Science Dome, 9401 Farwest Dr. SW, Lakewood, free, 360.786.9484

SUNDAY, SEPT. 14

Speaking of Dr. deGrasse Tyson, Sunday marks his first of two appearances at the Paramount in Seattle. Be sure to bring your psychologically wounded children, a busload of Flat- and/or Young-Earthers, tinfoil helmets, and a full trunk of easy-light torches along with your signable copy of The Pluto Files. The avuncular Cosmos host and Spacetime Odysseus is eager to hear your proofs that the Moon landings were a hoax, the first three chapters of Genesis constitute a science textbook, and DNA is a myth.

NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON, 7 p.m. Sunday, 7:30 p.m. Monday, The Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St., Seattle, $31.25-$71.25, 877.STG.4TIX

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 17

After the demise of ER, I bet you thought network television and Steven Spielberg would never barf up another prime-time dramedy set in a hospital staffed with hot doctors. Well, you're wrong! You are so wrong! And everyone loves The Fault in Our Stars, so will this new show be full to weeping with sick, witty teenagers? You bet your sweet vat of Proactiv it will! Ugh, I'm losing my will to live just by writing about it. Anyway, the premiere of Fox's Red Band Society airs Wednesday at 9. If you stuck it out through Extant or this year's season of America's Got Talent (break a leg, Quintavious Johnson!), then those finales air tonight, too.

As this episode of Nerd Alert hits the Web, Apple is probably announcing the rollout of its new product, iWatch, plus two smokin' new models of iPhone with larger screens, faster WiFi, NFC, and A8 processors. I was unable to reach Siri for comment, as I'm still dejectedly rocking my iPhone 4.

Until next week, may the Force be with you, may the odds be ever in your favor, and may your junky old iPhone fetch a decent resale value on Gazelle.com.