SUSTAINABLE LIVING IN FEDERAL WAY OF ALL PLACES >>>

A short trip up Interstate 5 North and a brief jaunt west off the South 320th Street exit, the Federal Way Farmers Market springs up each Saturday morning at 9 a.m. As is to be expected when the sun shines, people come out of the woodwork for this weekly happening. The market features a swap meet and garage sale on the first Saturday of each month, Kamehameha Day in June, zucchini races in August, a Fire Department versus Police Department chili cook-off in September and harvest celebrations in October.

To read the full column by Jennifer Johnson click here.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22, 2011 >>>

1. Barnburner, Stone Axe, Sleeper Cell and Electric Falcons will rock the crap out of Hell's Kitchen beginning at 9 p.m.

2. Weekly Volcano visual arts critic Alec Clayton posses many talents, including the ability to write a bad-ass novel or three. His latest, The Backside of Nowhere, is a wild and funny Southern novel set on the Gulf Coast in range of New Orleans. At 7:30 p.m. inside the Lakewood Playhouse, director Scott C. Brown and a dozen of the best actors in the South Sound region will read from the full-length feature film script adapted from Clayton's novel.

3. These pretzels are making us thirsty. But we mean, at only 50 cents apiece, it's impossible not to scarf down four in a row. If only we had some ... oh, yes, there it is. Microbrews for $2.75 and wells for $2.50 every weekday afternoon from 3-6 p.m. Magoo's Annex and Eatery, you've done it again. Now all we need is a sexy friend. Preferably one who can recognize old Seinfeld quotes.

4. 99 Bottles in Federal Way will serve tastes of big stouts from 4-7:45 p.m. for a $1.

5. The Fun Police, The Taxpayers and Dead Peasants will play the all-ages Red Room in downtown Tacoma beginning at 7:30 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Half-price wine bottles night!

WE'RE A BIG BOY NOW >>>

The Weekly Volcano's "personal" Facebook page is closing in on FB's 5,000 friends limit. Holy wow is right. We've started a "fan" page, which will allow us to compile as many friends/fans as technologically possible. If you're on FB and dig the Volcano's posts, quips, discoveries and news breaks – as well as content that doesn't appear either online or in print – go to facebook.com/weeklyvolcanofanpage and please "like" us.

Bonus: To make you really "like" us, we will enter those who "like" us before 5 p.m. Wednesday, June 8 into a random drawing for a free one night stay for two in a King Deluxe Room at the Hotel Murano. You will need to redeem the room before June 30, 2011.

The new Weekly Volcano Facebook page will also be your guide to exclusive Weekly Volcano events, promotions, blogs and photos.

Thank you!

LINK: Like us

DINING NEWS, NIBBLES, AND BITES >>>

Craft Beer Tasting: 99 Bottles in Federal Way hosts beer talk radio hostess and author Lisa Morrison for a signing of her Craft Beers of the Pacific Northwest from 4-6 p.m. today. Five Northwest craft beers will also be up for tasting for $3 a person.

Wine Tasting: Wildside Wines in Tacoma will pull out a bunch of wines that pair well with barbecues for you to taste today from 4-7 p.m. The cost is $5 a person.

Do The Fish ‘N' Chips: The Northwest grown fish and chips chain Ivar's is now open at 13101 Meridian Ave. E. in Puyallup.

Duke's Deal: Drop by Duke's Chowder House on Tacoma's Ruston Way, write your email address on a napkin and the follow day they'll send you a prize.  But Wait! It gets even better. You'll be entered to win: $500 Alaska Airlines Gift Card, a $250 Alaska Airlines Gift Card, a $150 Duke's Chowder House Gift Card or a $100 Duke's Chowder House Gift Card - every 3 months. Bonus: Here's a video of the Duke reading from his own menu.

THE POLLS ARE NOW OPEN >>>

Spring is in the air.

This means lust is in the air - and in the pages of the Weekly Volcano.

Once again, the Volcano is unleashing The Sexy Issue, giving one and all the chance to gaze at the sexiest people in the South Sound - as voted on by all of you, our dear readers.

Our annual celebration of the flesh, The Sex Issue is the Weekly Volcano's way of showcasing the South Sound's sexiest denizens - and by denizens we don't mean celebrities; we're talking about regular dudes and dudettes who just happen to look sexy as hell. Not just cliché sex appeal, of no relation to AXE Deodorant Body Spray campaigns, and certainly much more than mere looks, the Volcano Sexy Issue attempts to answer simple question: What defines sexiness in the South Sound?

This year, we are asking you to nominate the person who makes you all hot and bothered in the following categories: Bartender, Barista, Delivery Person, Real Estate Agent, Athlete, Servicemember, Drummer, Tattoo Artist and Mom.

On Thursday, June 2, the Weekly Volcano will publish The Sexy Issue, immortalizing the sexy, chosen few forever.

Help us find them.

Voting ends May 12 - so help the Weekly Volcano find the South Sound's hottest citizens. Vote today!

Vote for the South Sound's sexiest people (please include where they work):

ACCESS SOUTH SOUND DRINK SPECIALS IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND >>>

The Weekly Volcano Happy Hour App has up-to-date listings of happy-hour offerings from bars, clubs, taverns and restaurants from Tumwater to Federal Way, from Gig Harbor to Bonney Lake. As of now, some 160 happy hours are listed - with more being added on a constant basis.

Your smart phone tells the app where you are, you specify any special happy-hour needs you might have, and - voilà - you've got a detailed list of every happy hour around, including specials and when that happy hour ends. The list is sorted by distance from your current location, and you can turn your phone sideways for a Google map of the nearest picks. Can't decide which one to try? Give the phone a good shake and the app will randomly select a happy hour for you.

The Weekly Volcano Happy Hour app is available for iPhone, Android and Blackberry. And no matter what platform you use, it's free - so you can save your money for that last half-price margarita or two-for-one beer special of the night.

The Happy Hour section at weeklyvolcano.com has been redesigned to carry the same information as the phone app.

More good news: Because the Weekly Volcano has partnered with GoTime.com, our happy hour app doesn't only work in the South Sound; it also works in 160 other cities around the country.

LINK: Download the app to your phone

LINK: Our new nifty happy hour section

LINK: Scenes from the App Launch Party

Here's something to watch

ONE LESS CORPORATE BOX TO BROWSE >>>

When it comes to book shopping, there's nothing I like more than an awesome local bookstore. King's and Tacoma Book Center have consumed oh so many of my dollars over the years.

But when it comes to book browsing, well, it's tough to beat the kind of scale you find at the giant cube that is Borders by the Tacoma Mall. I've spent hours sifting through travel books to everywhere or sitting in a corner of the food section drooling over recipe ideas. And then there's the time spent standing baffled at the sheer number of Star Wars books that have been written since I gave up trying to read them all. ...

So it's with no great feeling of tragedy, but still a touch of sadness, that I learned of the Tacoma Borders' imminent demise. With the Gig Harbor store already on the way out, Tacoma-along with Federal Way-was added in a second wave to the official closure list last Thursday.

Proceedings begin today with the commencement of the requisite inventory clearance sale, and most newly-axed stores are targeted for late-May closing.

So long, Borders. You were a giant, corporate box, but I liked wandering around in you anyway.

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 2011 >>>

1. Kellogg's Disney Princess Fruit Snacks do not actually taste like princesses. They also don't taste like artificially flavored strawberry, grape, orange, and cherry. We don't know which is worse. What do they taste like? We spent a lot of time thinking about this while sucking on them. We haven't come to any conclusion, except we now need a spring cleanse. Dr. Karen Hurley of Federal Way Naturopathy says we can start to feel better by detoxifying from the rich, calorie-dense foods and emotional highs and lows we tend to consume during the winter season. Thanks Hurley, you're awesome. Hurley will lecture on the subject at 7 p.m. inside Marlene's Market & Deli in Federal Way.

2. A terminally ill, single-parent struggles to find a home for his autistic 21 year-old son in the Chinese film Ocean Heaven screening at 6:30 p.m. inside the Blue Mouse Theatre as part of the Tacoma Sister Cities International Film Festival.

3. Christian Brotherhood Academy in Tacoma's Hilltop neighborhood  will screen the critically acclaimed movie Waiting for Superman at 7 p.m.. After the movie, they'll discuss the film and why Christian Brotherhood Academy is so awesome.

THIS HAPPENS TOMORROW: The Dockyard Derby Dames will host a Dance Party featuring Jello shots, prizes and rockin' country by Sammy Steele Band at 9 p.m. inside the Gruv Lounge on Sixth Avenue.

4. Menopause The Musical, an uplifting 90-minute production that includes parodies from the '60s and '70s and '80s, will hit the Washington Center stage at 8 p.m.

5. Photon Pharoah, Rockwell Powers and Rusty Cleavers perform at 9 p.m. inside The New Frontier Lounge in Tacoma.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

This week ...

Place: Mi Chalateca Pupuseria

Visited: Sunday at noon

Partner in crime: Anne Anderle, Weekly Volcano intern

Time spent: 2.33 hours

Most offensive menu item: Dog penis. Just kidding.

Food plates on our table: Approximately eight

Space left on the table: Four square inches

Biggest mistake: Not wearing elastic waistbands

Mutual weight gained: 6 pounds, 14 ounces

Event dubbed: Sunday Salvadorian Eat-A-Thon

To read the full article, click here.

This week ...

Thing: My short-lived career at 99 Bottles

Term of employment: One month (seasonal)

Times I fucked up the register: Three

Customers I pissed off: None! (I think.)

Who I irritated the most: Craig Adamowski

Work BFF: Dennis Best

Types of beer at 99 Bottles: Over 1000

Shelves I dusted: 35

Bottles and Glassware I cleaned: 1,426

Cuts on hands from bottle caps: 12

That my pride is long gone becomes painfully apparent during situations like public pleas for employment, like last November when I updated my Facebook status asking for a part-time job.

Only one of my 408 "friends" responded to my Facebook plea: Tiffany Adamowski of 99 Bottles. Lucky her.

I jumped on the offer to temporarily work at her beer store, which she co-owns with husband Craig Adamowski, during the busy holiday season. Get this: I was going to get PAID to work with BEER ... which is mainly purchased by MEN. Oh. Hell. Yes.

What I quickly learned upon my arrival at 99 Bottles is that, without having any other valid reason for wanting it, men will go nuts for beers mentioned on television and radio shows. (Hello, Men's Room and Bitches Brew.) 

I learned that Mac & Jack's only comes in a keg, bacon beer does exist and canned beer is completely underrated. I was educated on European versus domestic hefeweizen, beers aged in bourbon barrels and how mead is made. Oh, and the "perfect pint" glass made by Samuel Adams? AWESOME. Go get one. Now.

My favorite thing to do at 99 Bottles was listen to Tiffany Adamowski talk beer.  That girl knows anything and everything there is to know about beer and how it's made: what it's made from, how it's brewed, where it came from and in what way you should drink the beer. Cold? Warm? Type of glass? Keg stand? She can answer those questions. I'd like to suggest attending 99 Bottles weekly Wednesday beer tasting with Tiffany from 4-8 pm.  Completely worth the $1.

Aside from the random girl who came in talking like a northwest version of yesterday's valley girl (learn to annunciate, please), working at 99 Bottles provided me with a plethora of beer knowledge, a handy holiday paycheck and a sweet discount on anything in the store. With all that good grub, who needs pride?

[99 Bottles, 35002 Pacific Hwy S, Federal Way, 253.838.2558]

PERSON, PLACE OR THING LINK HUB

LINK: Community Produce and Jason Barker

LINK: Sabrina T. Scale of Menchie's Frozen Yogurt in Federal Way

LINK: Puyallup Forza

LINK: Spartacus T. Ladle of Infinite Soups

LINK: Louie G's Pizzeria "Little Italy" Pizza Challenge

LINK: Aaron Tumale, dough-tosser at The Rock Wood Fired Pizza & Spirits