The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Jessica Simpson

April 1: Jessica Simpson is on the edge of her seat

"Did anyone watch 'The Real Face of Jesus?' on the history channel? I have it on tivo and pressing play now. Fascinating!!" 9:12 p.m., via UberTwitter

March 31: The real faces of Jessica Simpson and her boyfriend

"I love my BF ;)" 11:04 p.m., via UberTwitter

March 31: Jessica Simpson is two steps away from the University of Phoenix

"Is there an accelerated learning program to become an asteroid miner? If so, I'm in." 6:22 p.m., via UberTwitter

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Jessica Simpson (@JessicaSimpson)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Jessica Simpson

June 11: Jessica Simpson matches the consumption of some Third World countries.

"All of my lady friends are coming over for a backyard treat from my 7 closets cleaning!" 6:45 p.m. via UberTwitter

June 11: Jessica Simpson amazes with knowledge

"Random fact: the jalapeno was the first pepper taken to space." 5:11 p.m., via UberTwitter

May 8: Jessica Simpson plays with feces

"Who can guess which dog took this massive crap? 4:55 p.m., via UberTwitter

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Debbie Gibson

June 4: Debbie Gibson plays BIG shows

"In front of Parliment! Loooove it...can't wait!" via Twitpic, 7:23 a.m.

May 7: Debbie Gibson diversifies

"I'm a Tommy Model!" via Twitpic, 9:23 p.m.

May 6: Debbie Gibson is random as fuck

"I love my friend Lance Bass!" via txt, 2:11 p.m.

Tune in next week for more Twitter Stalking action from the Weekly Volcano

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Debbie Gibson

May 25: Debbie Gibson gets around.

"My new boyfriend's a bit dumpy!" via Twitpic, 6:19 p.m.

May 25: Debbie Gibson sells other people's jeans

"New jeans from Billy Baldwin and Chynna Phillips! It's your last week to bid!" via Twitpic, 11:34 a.m.

May 21: Celebrities think they're above the rules

"The TSA at Burbank airport confiscated my man's peanut butter! So, no food in flight but, ya can't bring ur own?!?" via txt, 4:26 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Debbie Gibson (@DeborahGibson)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 27: Apolo Ohno - man of the people.

"Beautiful run along santa monica beach.....stopped to talk with some street vendors who were closing.. taught me how to do pushups...lol!" via TweetDeck, 9:09 p.m.

April 5: Apolo Ohno needs a favor.

"Who's got the hook up on the Rihanna tickets?" via TweetDeck, 5:46 p.m.

April 3: Apolo Ohno sells potatoes.

"Have sum fun & cool spots with 1 of my sponsors- Washington Potato Comission..stay tuned :-) Gnight, I've an early flight tomorrow/this am" via Twitter for iPhone, 11:23 p.m.

March 27: Apolo Ohno shows some chest and gets dwarfed by that kid from Slumdog Millionaire.

"This young phenom needs no introduction. Great kid...awesome attitude!" via TweetDeck, 6:06 p.m.

Tune in next week for a new installment of the Weekly Volcano's Twitter Stalker.

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 26: Sexy is as sexy does

"Photoshoot!" via Twitter for iPhone, 5:20 p.m.

April 18: Who uses just one  phone anymore?

"Left my phones in the car...just barely made the flight--thanks to the Sweet lady who rushed through security with my phones!!" via TweetDeck, 11:30 a.m.

April 11: Apolo Ohno shaves - but where?

"Quick workout in...arms feel like noodles. All shaved up- feeling fresh, clean, and crispy! :-)" via TweetDeck, 3:16 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Apolo Ohno (@ApoloOhno)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 25: Apolo Ohno's wandering hand. Good times.

"Saw a cool picture of Julianne, Laila Ali, and your truly.......aww Good Times!" via TweetDeck, 9:35 a.m.

April 30: Apolo Ohno enjoys the family life, and shills weight loss products

"Spending quality time with fam & friends. Just met a woman who bought my 8zone product & lost 12 lbs...Raina - you've a great story! Thnk u!" via TweetDeck, 9:13 p.m.

April 26: Apolo Ohno switches seats with greatness.

"I'm not kidding you....just traded seats with pee wee Herman...the one and only." via TweetDeck, 5:23 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Apolo Ohno (@ApoloOhno)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

May 12: Apolo Ohno reveals the truth about his gold medal skin... and adds a happy face.

"Ever wake up and you have a pimple out of no where? Wow....you gotta be kidding me!! Haha! Oh well. It is what it is! :-)" via TweetDeck, 1:33 p.m.

May 8: Apolo Ohno self helps.

"Quick read on the plane. It gives me even more inspiration & insight 2 reach out 2 those middle school kids." via TweetDeck, 9:25 a.m.

May 6: Apolo Ohno is, perhaps, more revealing than he wanted to be.

"Just saw the "Ed hardy guy"...I feel like i see him 2 times a week...strange...Christian something?" via TweetDeck, 5:56 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Apolo Ohno (@ApoloOhno)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Apolo Ohno

Today: Apolo Ohno rubs it in fat people's faces

"Cupcake action." TweetDec, 9:47 a.m.

May 20: Apolo Ohno goes for the teeny-tiny look at Seattle Fashion Week

"Thank you Seattle Fashion Week! I had a blast. See you next year!" via Twitter for iPhone, 9:40 a.m.

May 18: Apolo Ohno applies for work at the Volcano. Wait. What?

Showing some love to local 253 artist - Rocky Sandoval who performed at the Seattle Fashion Show - http://bit.ly/bZtdoV I'm READY!" via TweetDeck, 2:30 p.m.

Tune in tomorrow for more tweets from the life of Apolo Ohno (@ApoloOhno)

The Weekly Volcano follows the people you're too embarrassed to >>>

Just like most good, new-age, social media applications, Twitter allows people to share and be privy to once personal, almost wholly pointless information about peoples' lives. It's seemingly endless. While Twitter is mostly full of everyday, ho-hum people - just like you and me, sharing info about what type of oatmeal we ate for breakfast and where we get our hair cut - Twitter is also a magnet for the moderately-famous.

Stars of yesterday, illiterate millionaire athletes, former cast members of Saved By the Bell - you can follow them all, intimately, on Twitter.

But, you've got standards. We get that.

That's why we'll do it for you, in a feature we like to call Weekly Volcano Twitter Stalker.

This week, checking in with...

Mark Hoppus

May 22: Mark Hoppus takes a stand

"Nothing infuriates me more than cupcakes. There. I said it." via UberTwitter, 12:24 p.m.

April 21: Mark Hoppus fights for Mother Earth

"In honor of Earth Day tomorrow, I will continue my long-standing tradition of NOT clubbing baby seals." via TweetDeck, 5:11 p.m.

April 15: Mark Hoppus thinks about juggling hipsters at 1 a.m.

"Unicycles are the ultimate fixed-gear, which makes juggling clowns the ultimate hipsters. My unicycle'd have coaster brakes." via TweetDeck, 1:11 a.m.

Tune in next week for a new "celebrity", and a new round of Twitter Stalking, brought to you by the Weekly Volcano.