TUESDAY, NOV. 27 2012 >>>

1. Deejay Del Brown packs up her classic Rammstein and Marilyn Manson records for a night of moody post-punk, classic bats-and-bondage soundscapes beginning at 10 p.m. at the Top of Tacoma Bar and Café. A prize will be awarded for the best Matrix costume. The "Religious As Hell" Goth and Darkwave night hits the Top every last Tuesday of the month. Bela Lugosi's dead - long live Bela Lugosi!

2. One of the reasons you likely love The Grand Cinema is because of the wide variety of films it chooses to screen. The unfortunate fact is that there are more quality films that it would like to play than it has screen space. Enter The Grand's Tuesday Film Series, which allows it to bring in many more films than usual. Today at 2:50 and 6:50, it screens Wild Horse, Wild Ride - the story of a handful of unforgettable characters set out on a 100-day quest to tame a totally wild mustang for a Texas competition. In three months, man and horse must transform from scared strangers to close companions. It won't be an easy journey.

3. You can find a lot of things in caves: Bats, guano, fish, insects, spiders, crabs, water, stalactites, stalagmites, limestone, stone tools, cave drawings, mud, snakes and bears. Inside The Cave at Pacific Lutheran University you will find a jazz combo from 5:30-7 p.m. Wear a headlamp and a black turtleneck.

4. Bold and brassy horn-players are ditching the rest of their orchestras. But don't worry - it's for one night only. Without the addition of those pansy woodwinds and strings (we kid!), the brass section has a chance to shine in all its strong, honking glory. Get blasted into the holiday season at 7:30 p.m. as musicians perform Christmas classics with a horny spin at the Student Union Building on the University of Puget Sound campus.

5. Every Tuesday night at Stonegate Pizza on South Tacoma Way Leanne Trevalyan hosts an acoustic open mic at 8 p.m.

LINK: Tuesday, Nov. 27 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

ONLINE CHATTER >>>

Yesterday's comment of the day came from Nicole in regards to the screening of Bible Quiz, which was in our 5 Things To Do Today listing.

Nicole writes,

Hi! Thank you to everyone who made it out today to give feedback on the work-in-progress screening of the documentary "Bible Quiz" at the Washington State History Museum! If you missed it, no worries, this was a preview screening of a work-in-progress and the final film has yet to be released. Please sign up for the mailing list to be kept up-to-date on the finished movie's premier and all of there screenings here: www.biblequizmovie.com Thank you!

KICK THIS AROUND >>>

Independent theaters all around the nation are facing a challenge - go digital or go dark. The Blue Mouse Theatre in Tacoma's Proctor District stares this dilemma right in the lens. Without the budget to finance the $100,000 required to switch its 35mm projectors over to digital, Blue Mouse is asking fans and friends for help. It has launched a Help Save the Blue Mouse Theatre Kickstarter campaign, hoping to raise the funds by mid-January 2013. With the new digital projector, the theater will be able to keep with the times, but also anticipates much higher image and sound quality.

"The Blue Mouse does not have the ability to finance this major capital expenditure out of its annual earnings. Our best option is to ask you, our loyal Blue Mouse patrons and the community to help us keep our doors open by making a contribution toward this historical transition. This change will ensure the same quality of programming and allow us to continue offering the latest movies,” states its Kickstarter page.

Don't know why you should bother? Here are 10 reasons to help you understand the awesome that is Blue Mouse.

10. The Blue Mouse has only 11 more years until its 100th birthday! The theater has been screening movies consistently for 89 years, making it the longest continuously running movie house in the state.

9. Blue Mouse oozes with historical ambiance. The building is on the Tacoma, state and national historic registers. Even though theater managers in the 1930s painted over some original detailing, the theater has been restored to its original charm. Today, light sconces, terrazzo floors, the mahogany doors and other details are original work.

8. Blue Mouse has housed the Tacoma Sister Cities Movie Festival for 10 years. The Sister Cities festival focuses on films from Tacoma's 11 sister cities, which include such far-flung destinations as Davao, Philippines; Aalesund, Norway; and Kitakyushu, Japan.

7. This is just about the only theater left on the face of the planet that doesn't charge $10 for an evening show, and it is the only discount theater left in Tacoma. Regular shows are $5. Tuesdays and matinees are just $4. Mondays are $3.

6. Not only does the building score historical merit, but artistic as well. Many moons ago Dale Chihuly designed the blue mice scurrying along the marquee.

5. You can do the "Time Warp" at The Blue Mouse again and again and again. Most saturdays the theater screens The Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight. Bonus: the Blue Mousketeers dress up and re-enact the madness on the front stage below the screen.

4. The popcorn is so delicious many people come in off the street just to buy it, according to theater manager Susan Evans. You can also bring in your Blue Mouse coffee cup and receive free coffee during a show.

3. You may rent the theater and have your own party, or your kid's birthday party, making little Johnny the coolest kid on the block.

2. Blue Mouse sits in the middle of the cozy Proctor District surrounded by restaurants and shops. Proctor has a little village feel to it. You won't find that quaintness at mass-market Regal and Galaxy theaters.

1. The Blue Mouse is about community. Blue Mouse moviegoers have been plopping down in its seats movies since childhood. Many walk to the shows. Many had their first date at the Mouse. The Blue Mouse Theatre is your kind, sweet grandfather.

-----------------------------------------------------

>>> The Weekly Volcano's Afternoon Delight newsletter features breaking news, stories, calendar picks and more sent directly to your inbox Monday-Friday. It's completely free to subscribers, but costs $10,000 if you don't like it. You will like it. It's sweet and sour and makes you pucker and swoon.

Sign up here:

MONDAY, NOV. 26 2012 >>>

1. Bloody hell! It's a dark red night at the Acme Grub Cage as another Tacoma Cult Movie Club rolls in at 7 p.m. Tonight, it's more gore for the money (free) for this post-Thanksgiving holiday celebration as the TCMC indulges in movies about people that would rather eat a Turk than a turkey. That's right, it's a night of cannibal films. As always, admission and popcorn are free. Don't forget it's 21+ only, and make sure you indulge in those great drinks and the fabulous raffle drawing.

2. Tonight, the ladies of Pistols and Petticoats are celebrating their one-year anniversary. The group that meets regularly for shooting at Bull's Eye Range in Tacoma and meets regularly for drinks in Olympia, plan to potluck, network and shoot the shit (pun fully intended) at The Brotherhood Lounge. Festivities are from 6-9 p.m. and include a raffle with awesome locally sponsored prizes, cute merchandise from the DIY girls in the club and a drink special on the dangerously delicious Smith & Wesson.

3. Poet, performer, singer and songwriter James Talley may not have instant name recognition in every household, but the list of performers who have performed his songs do - Johnny Cash and Paycheck, Gene Clark, Alan Jackson and Moby have all recorded James Talley songs. During Talley's long career he has performed twice in the White House, played the Smithsonian and even had B.B. King lay guitar tracks on his albums. The Mehan, Oklahoma born singer's career spans more than 40 years garnering him universal praise for his folk-country-blues songs written with lightness, impact and beauty. Catch him at 7 p.m. inside the Olympic Room at the Tacoma Public Library's Main Branch.

4. The C Davis New Orleans Quartet specializes in New Orleans jazz in the spirit of King Oliver, Louis Armstrong and the great New Orleans Revivalists such a George Lewis and Bunk Johnson. The repertoire also includes music from the Turk Murphy and Lu Watters book, several specialty numbers that are transcriptions of the Louis Armstrong Hot 5 and even a little ragtime. Catch the quartet at 8 p.m. inside The Royal Lounge in Olympia.

5. Speaking of jazz, the S.R.O. Swong Band will swing at 7 p.m. inside the Imperial Dragon restaurant in Tacoma.

LINK: Join the Weekly Volcano's foodie group Nosh League Thursday at the Tacoma Cabana

LINK: Monday, Nov. 26 arts and events calendar for the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

SUNDAY, NOV. 25, 2012 >>>

1. This spring the Weekly Volcano wrote a feature on Mikayla Irle and the film Bible Quiz. Originally from Edgewood, this high-schooler accomplished what few can, or will even attempt: she learned by heart multiple books from the Good Book. By senior year she had Galatians, Ephesians, Colossians, Philippians, and Philemon (roughly 17 pages of text according to our translation) down cold. Sweet Jesus. Irle's efforts belonged to a nationwide evangelical sport known as Bible Quiz. She and her teammates from Tacoma's Life Center church made it all the way to the 2008 National Championship in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Their cross-country journey fuels Nicole Teeny's documentary, appropriately titled Bible Quiz, which screens today - for free - at 1 p.m. inside the Washington State History Museum Auditorium. This documentary was funded in part through the Tacoma Arts Commission's Art Projects funding program.

2. You might think high school marching bands, a slew of corvettes, U.S. Navy Sea Cadets, The Nutcracker on wheels and a mass of choir singers converging on the streets of Olympia would result in an orgy of debauchery not fit for print. But you might just have a twisted mind. The annual Olympia Holiday Parade is a family-oriented event sandwiched between a day of downtown Olympia free horse-drawn wagon rides with Mrs. Claus and free electric trolley rides (noon) and the 4:30 p.m. holiday tree lighting in Sylvester Park.

3. As you know the Franciscan Polar Plaza outdoor ice skating rink is open to those who want to travel in circles from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. What you might not know is today from 2-4 p.m. the Seattle Thunderbirds and its mascot Cool Bird will be on the ice too.

4. The Weekly Volcano is in denial, but the signs are hard to ignore. Shops are draped in red and green; cocktail parties fill my calendar, and we can't button our skinny jeans anymore. Yep, it's the holiday season. As they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, which is why we'll be singing at the top of our lungs at the Sing-A-Long Sound of Music at 5 p.m. inside The Washington Center. It's a screening of the classic Julie Andrews film musical in glorious full-screen Technicolor, complete with subtitles. Nice.

This show is not happening. We apologize. 5. Guitarist Dave Takata might have left sludge-metal band Mahnhammer but he'll be at The New Frontier Lounge tonight when his other two bands Furry Buddies and Argonaut join Mahnhammer at 9 p.m. to rock in a new week.

LINK: Sunday, Nov. 25 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Rain, hi 50, lo 47

Saturday: Rain on and off, hi 49, lo 39

Sunday: Foggy morning, sunbreaks in afternoon, hi 44, lo 34

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 23: A CHRISTMAS SURVIVAL GUIDE

Round up the family for some comedic relief and see Harlequin Productions opening night performance of A Christmas Survival Guide, a musical for the whole family. Harlequin Productions describes the play as follows, "This intimate revue takes a wry and knowing look at a stressful season. Armed with a copy of A Christmas Survival Guide and an optimistic attitude, our characters charge into an urban holiday landscape searching for the true essence of Christmas. In songs and vignettes, they learn to cope with the season in ways that are both hilarious and heartwarming." The show features laugh out loud pokes at the season of stresses and stars a cast of talented, funny actors and some puppets. Take your mind of the turkey and the holiday bills and enjoy a night of music and fun. — Nikki McCoy

• Harlequin Productions, Nov. 23-Dec. 31, 8 p.m., $15-$38, 202 Fourth Ave. E., Olympia, 360.786.0151

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 23-SATURDAY, NOV. 24: GRINDHOUSE THEATER

After a day of carving turkey, why not enjoy a cinematic experience of carving people with Grindhouse Theater's presentation of Cannibal Ferox on 35 mm film? The film, which has been banned in 31 countries, will include rare uncut footage of raw gore and shock. Due to it's violent nature, no one younger than 17 should be permitted. Umberto Lenzi's 1981 Italian cannibal cult classic, Cannibal Ferox will play Friday and Saturday night and features audience appreciation by offering free raffle and trivia with prizes/giveaways from sponsors: Cult Collectibles - Figures From The Fringe!, Rotten Cotton, Fangoria, Crypticon Seattle and RaroVideo. In addition to the raffle ticket movie-goers get for free just for attending, this screening is a special food drive where each can of food brought will earn another raffle ticket. — NM

• The Grand Cinema, Friday and Saturday, Nov 23-24, 9 p.m., $9, 606 S. Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.593.4474

>>> SATURDAY, NOV. 24: SING-ALONG SOUND OF MUSIC & TREE LIGHTING

Maybe you can't be in the Alps, twirling in a lovely dress and pinafore, and dancing around an estate with scads of charming children singing "Do, a deer... ." But Saturday you can "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" with everyone at the Pantages Theater for Sing-A-Long Sound of Music. With a newly restored version of the film projected high and wide for all to see and sing to, so you won't miss a note - or a chance to hiss at the Baroness. Come in costume and be judged for prizes. Afterward, you can be a part of an age-old Tacoma holiday tradition - the tree lighting ceremony at Ninth and Broadway. — Ron Swarner

• Pantages Theater, 2 p.m. film, 5:30 p.m. tree lighting, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5894
  

>>> SATURDAY, NOV. 24: GRITTY CITY GIFT FAIR

The only time we were forced to walk through that new H&M store in the mall we started to feel queasy, claustrophobic and like we were going to karate chop the next person we saw with a stupid bleach pattern on their jeans in the throat. Just because it's the holiday season doesn't mean anyone should have to go through this. Saturday, check out the Jada-Moon Gridley-created Gritty City Gift Fair, where local artists and crafters will offer their one-of-a-kind fairs for all at the 906 Broadway space in Tacoma's Antqiue Row. Expect re-purposed silk, cashmere and wool to recyled silver and pearls, fashion, reclaimed wood, forged steel, sparkling gems, feathers, ceramics, glass and more. — Weekly Volcano

• 906 Broadway, 3-9 p.m., no cover, Tacoma, facebook.com

>>> MONDAY, NOV. 26: PISTOLS AND PETTICOATS PARTY

Monday, Nov 26, the ladies of Pistols and Petticoats are celebrating their one-year anniversary. The group that meets regularly for shooting at Bull's Eye Range in Tacoma and meets regularly for drinks in Olympia, plan to potluck, network and shoot the shit (pun fully intended) at The Brotherhood Lounge. Festivities are from 6-9 p.m. and include a raffle with awesome locally sponsored prizes, cute merchandise from the DIY girls in the club and a drink special on the dangerously delicious Smith & Wesson. The group always accepts new members and will have information on hand for interested parties. — NM

• The Brotherhood Lounge, 6 p.m., no cover, 310 Capitol Way, Olympia, 360.352.4153
  

WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO

CHRISTIAN CARVAJAL Theater Critic
This is a massive theater weekend for me, so I hope that tryptophan thing really is a myth. I'm seeing Nuncrackers at Capital Playhouse, The Sound of Music at Tacoma Musical Playhouse, and Christmas Survival Guide at Harlequin. Finally, it's time for the best Thanksgiving activity: delicious dinner roll leftover sandwiches.

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Music Writer
Saturday, I'll be attending a birthday party at the home of James Jenkins, of People Under the Sun (local) fame. There will be copious amounts of drinking and indoor smoking. The following day, I'll smell like success.

ALEC CLAYTON Arts Critic
My Thanksgiving weekend will be filled with theater. Friday night I shall attend the opening of Nuncrackers at Capital Playhouse. It's a wildly silly continuation of the irreverent sisters who first appeared in Nunsense. Then Saturday night another holiday treat - I hope - an original musical send-up from Harlequin Productions called The Christmas Survival Guide.

NIKKI MCCOY Feature Writer
Yesterday I annoyed my family with repeat plays of Adam Sandler's Thanskgiving Song performance on SNL. "Turkey lurkey doo and Turkey lurkey dap, I eat that turkey, Then I take a nap."  I can't get enough of those lyrics! Anyway, Friday is another TGIF happy hour shift at the bar, where I will play nurse, handing out tonics to cure your Thanksgiving hang over. Saturday I'm taking my mom out for her birthday and some local holiday shopping and Sunday will hopefully be chill, with turkey sandwiches and games of Scrabble.

JACKIE FENDER Food Writer
Aside from my usual work "week," I will be helping to guide the masses in the Underground Tacoma tour through the dim lit perils of spiders, dust and creepy never never land characters. Immediately afterward Ill be collecting passports from the Art Bus/Go Local collaboration to be entered into a raffle as an incentive to spend your holiday dollars locally. After all of that amazing madness on Saturday and my obligatory long day Sunday slinging the most important meal of the day, I will spend Sunday evening hibernating.

JOANN VARNELL Theater Critic
Hello CHRIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAS! Well, OK, not really but the toddler, husband, and I will be going to the Sumner Bridge Lighting on Friday. On Saturday we'll go get a Christmas tree and maybe see some snow. Sunday we will head to church and relax.

TIMOTHY GRISHAM Music Writer
As I roll myself out of bed from post tryptophan hybernation, I will partake in the annual family film outing. I hope you imagine this in as much of a National Lampoon's Vacation way as it actually is. I am sure I will draw the short straw and we will see something like Red Dawn. It always happens that way. But perhaps better heads will prevail and we will go to Friday's screening of Cannibal Ferox at The Grand Cinema. The 1981 film is part of the filmhouse's Grindhouse Theater Series and plays both Friday and Saturday at 9 p.m. The film is about three friends out to disprove cannibalism who meet up with two fugitives who are hunted by a cannibal tribe. Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like cannibalism, am I right?

JOSH RIZEBERG Music Columnist
Friday I'll be taking a trip The Comet in Seattle where I'll be catching Metal Chocolates, SpecsWizard, and Silas Blak and AMPFIRE. This will be one of the best, eclectic, avant-garde, artistic, yet hard nights of hip-hop Seattle has to offer. Saturday the 24th, I'll be helping D.A.S.H. Center for the Arts put on Dreamgirls. It's their big winter show. It is at the LAPAC Theatre at Charles Wright Academy. Get some tickets and support these kids! Sunday night, I'll be back-up in Seattle at The Nectar. They have a free hip-hop showcase. Nectar always has good shows, but this one is free!

JENNI BORAN Features Writer
Once upon a time, when I was in fourth-grade, I had a little boyfriend, and he was in a band!  Well, he's still in a band (a different band, this one is called STRIPPED), and we'll be seeing them play at Jack's in Renton this Saturday at 9 p.m. I had to take it easy on the turkey so I could fit in my skinny jeans.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Photog About Town
As you have seen earlier today, I went nuts on the Kim Archer Band, 253Heart Music Festival and Bad Sweater Party Wednesday night. I'm taking to the stage myself at 9 p.m. Friday at the Harmon as the Monday Ukulele Ohana performs at the 253Heart Music Festival.

NIC LEONARD Music Writer
I hit the Thanksgiving show Wednesday at the Urban Onion, I'm looking forward to a wonderful weekend with the family. Then, of course, the Seahawks game Sunday.

ROCKFORD ROWLEY All-Ages Music Columnist
Catching up with some friends that are home from college for Thanksgiving!

LINK: Even more local events that we recommend

LINK: Comprehensive South Sound Arts & Entertainment Calendar

TUESDAY, NOV. 20, 2012 >>>

1. It's Tuesday and that means The Grand Cinema unleashes another special film as part of its Tuesday Film Series. Today at 2:15 and 6:50 p.m. The Grand will screen Stars In Shorts, a collection of short films featuring famous faces, including Judi Dench, Kenneth Branagh, Colin Firth, Keira Knightley, Julia Stiles, and Lily Tomlin.

2. Yea, like you're going to have an arts month and not include one of the longest running open mics in the state. Art at Work Month continues in Tacoma. And the celebration shines a spotlight on the Victory Music Open Mic, which pulls out the microphones from 7-10 p.m. inside the Antique Sandwich Company.

3. A principled lawyer who defends both a black man against trumped-up rape charges and his children against the evils of prejudice in the Depression-era South. Sounds like a read right up the Banned Book Club's alley. The club will discuss To Kill a Mockingbird at 7 p.m. inside King's Books.

4. With a 90-minute set featuring around 20 of Diamond's hits – ranging from his early work for television shows, such as The Monkees ("I'm A Believer") to songs from his movie "The Jazz Singer" – Neil Diamond tribute band The Diamond Experience will rock the Red Wind Casino from 6:30-9:30 p.m.

5. Pretty Old take cues from the delicately driving and melancholy pride of bands like the National as well as the spark and verve of punkier groups like the Weakerthans and Jawbreaker - from whom Pretty Old derived their name. The Seattle three-piece is one that was clearly raised on punk, yet remains comfortable to bust out a sadly shuffling ballad or two. Catch the band at 10 p.m. inside Le Voyeur.

LINK: Tuesday, Nov. 20 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

FUTURE THINGS ARE COMING >>>

Saturday you can be a part of an age-old Tacoma holiday tradition - one of the few that has survived Tacoma through the ages: the Great Depression, World War II, the 1980s. Tacoma's tree lighting ceremony is a tradition that dates back almost 100 years, but since 1945, the giant tree has stood proud at Ninth and Broadway.

"This month's Holiday Tree Lighting represents 67 years since the Tacoma's Theater District and Fort Lewis have collaborated to kick off the holiday season," says Broadway Center Executive Director David Fischer. "At the end of World War II, the soldiers at Fort Lewis wanted to thank the citizens of Tacoma for their support during the war by contributing a giant tree for all to enjoy at the holiday time. That generous string of trees has gone unbroken in the same manner that the relationship between the soldiers and Tacomans has remained strong."

For many moons, the tree lighting has been paired with an afternoon show. This year the Broadway Center brings back the popular Sound of Music Sing Along at 2 p.m. inside the Pantages Theater. Dress up as Maria or your favorite von Trapp for a chance at a best costume prize. Otherwise, get ready to follow the bouncing ball to pure Sound of Music bliss. Tickets to the show are $24.

The tree lighting ceremony kicks off at 5:30 p.m. Huddle under an awning or sip hot cocoa and cider in the Pantages Lobby. Santa will be there, working the crowd, taking photos and will help flip the switch on the tree. This part of the evening is free and open to all.

PANTAGES THEATER, SOUND OF MUSIC SING ALONG & 67TH ANNUAL HOLIDAY TREE LIGHTING, 2 P.M. FILM, 5:30 P.M. LIGHTING, SATURDAY, NOV. 24, 901 BROADWAY, TACOMA, 253.591.5894

LINK: Deep background on the Tacoma Tree Lighting ceremony

SUNDAY, NOV. 18, 2012 >>>

1. It gets cold out there, but it sure is fun and the crisp air sparks the holiday spirit in even the most curmudgeon among the walkers. A family tradition in the South Sound is walking through the Fantasy Lights displays at Spanaway Park. The 2.5 mile route is open to walkers for a preview from 5-7 p.m. Beginning Nov. 22 you can drive the loop to see some 300 light displays that range from a skiing snowman to a tank firing snowballs to a pirate ship and jumping rain deer. Fantasy Lights, now in its 18th year, is the Northwest's largest drive-through holiday lights display.

2. This and That Rummage Sale will be loaded with clothes for our entire family, household items, books, record albums, tchotchkes, kitchen stuff, toys and more for chump change from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Studio 6 on Sixth Avenue.

3. Coming direct from an award winning world premiere in Washington, D.C., Welcome, O Life will be screening at noon inside the Washington Center for the Performing Arts this Sunday afternoon as a part of the 29th Olympia Film Festival. The first feature film of Evergreen graduate Nicholas Redding, Welcome, O Life film is about the search for the sacred within a broken world of industrial ruins. For a schedule of today's screenings - the last - day - at the Oly Film Festival, click here.

4. Reenactors as Col Silas Casey, Lt. August V. Kautz, Lt. E. Porter Alexander, and Maj. Alvord retired army officers will tell of their experiences at Fort Steilacoom and as generals during the Civil War as part of "You are There" series at 2 p.m. on the grounds of Historic Fort Steilacoom, 9601 Steilacoom Blvd. in Lakewood.

5. Off With Their Heads, Phasers On Kill, Neutral Boy and The French Exit play a 5 p.m. show inside Jazzbones.

LINKS: Sunday, Nov. 18 arts and entertainment events in the greater Tacoma and Olympia area

REVIEW OF HUMP! FILM FESTIVAL >>>

If there's any lingering doubt about the mainstreaming of porn, even low-fi amateur porn, reflect that it launched the highly lucrative careers of a whole coven of Kardashians. We love porn. So while there were some timid faces in the crowd at Olympia's first-ever screening of Hump! last night, there was also an electric, anticipatory vibe. Whatever your taste, there's little chance you were disappointed.

The Hump! anthology of locally-made porn is the brainchild (loinchild?) of Dan Savage, editorial director of The Stranger, author of the syndicated advice column Savage Love, and spiritual leader of the anti-bullying "It Gets Better" project. Hump!'s rules are straightforward: no critters, no minors, no messy bathroom stuff. This leaves a wide-open field for creative expression - so wide, in fact, that it'll be difficult to describe the shorts without transgressing my editor's liberal subject policy. (Heh. I said "shorts.") Let's put it this way: I counted five different bodily fluids, plus a dollop of axle grease.

The first of no less than 27 flicks was a cartoon, Rumpy Pumpy, in which the phrase popularized by Roger Ebert is used to describe a parade of cartoon phalli and clams. (I'm referring to the bivalve. I swear!) What followed was a mixed bag of production values, narrative intents and proclivities. Whatever you're into, there was something to turn you on. There was also something to turn you waaaayyy the hell off. I'm looking at you, Mansmash! ... but only from the corner of my eye. Yikes!

To vote for best in show is to summarize one's sexual preferences. With that in mind, my choice was the very funny Magic Love, in which a straight couple (and, if memory serves, an extremely close friend) is stop-motion animated through a series of good-natured liaisons. I specify straight because gay content was represented in bacchanalian abundance. If that's a problem for you, Hump! will never be your cup of tea. If, however, you want to watch a dominatrix force two Rubenesque young women to eat meringue pies, your desires will be met.

I, on the other hand, preferred Dungeons & Dragons Orgy, in which rolls of a 20-sided die determine who'll pair up (or triple up) with whom. Then there's Dueling Dames, in which two bored women vie for the title of sexual champion, all in the style of a vintage silent movie. The encounter of Alice and Miles is as sultry and polished as a Shakira video. Speaking of which, the program concludes with a music video, the parodic Boyfriend, and it also features a rendition of Peter and the Wolf that'd give Prokofiev the screaming fantods.

I'd be remiss if I didn't praise the surprisingly affecting and empowering Krutch, in which a young woman with a disability entertains herself using one of her crutches. This activity is jarringly intercut with her struggle to get to a bus before it pulls away from the curb. Work like this gives the lie to the narrow-minded notion that all porn is antifeminist or otherwise diminishing. Emcee Lindy West suggests Hump will return to Olympia next year. Judging by last night's audience packed with flushed and appreciative spectators, I suspect they'll be deluged with Thurston county contest submissions.

I know. I said "submissions." Would "entries" have been any better?

CAPITOL THEATER, OLYMPIA FILM FESTIVAL, THROUGH SUNDAY, NOV. 18, $4-$10, 206 FIFTH AVE. SE, OLYMPIA, 360.754.6670

LINK: Olympia Film Festival schedule