MOST PEOPLE LET THEIR CHILDHOOD DREAMS FADE; 30-YEAR-OLD MICHELLE STILL EMBRACES HER INNER TURTLE>>>

When I was a kid I wanted to be a Ninja Turtle too. We'd play at recess and fight over who got to be Donatello (because he had a giant stick). I'd always get stuck playing April (because I'm a girl and I have brown hair. Whatever.) and instead of getting to swing around a stick, I'd sit at the end of the slide with a fake giant typewriter.

Those days were fun, but I was five. This is the inspirational story of a full-grown-woman who took her childhood dreams into full-blown fruition. Turtles in a half shell, Turtle power.

MILLION DOLLAR STRONG>>>

I dug through the archives and pulled out one of my all time favorites. You may have already seen it, but dammit, it's too good to see just once. Comedian Mike O'Connell and Dr. Ken (you may remember him from such films as Knocked Up ... oh yeah, and he has a quick butt-ass-naked cameo in The Hangover)star in this spoofed hip-hop video. It's delightful to the ears and eyes (Dr. Ken shakes it in a sparkling spandex onesie). Delicious.

GUILTY PLEASURES>>>

Of all of the crazy shit I've found scanning Youtube, Funnyordie, and other waste-your-time websites, this is the golden child, the rainy-day-pick-me-up, the 20-second video that makes the next 20 minutes of my life just a little less depressing. Please watch, rinse, and repeat. It's funnier than seeing an old man get hit in the nuts with a football.

PHASERS SET TO STUN, IT'S GOING TO BE A KLINGON CHRISTMAS>>>

A Chicago theater is staging a production of the Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol with a Klingon theme. The entire play is spoken in thIngan Hol, the language of the Klingon race, which was developed in 1984 by a real linguist expert  for Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.

The show in Chicago features a miserly alien warrior named SQuja', Klingon for Scrooge, who is visited by a trio of holiday ghosts who help him regain the festive spirit so that he can save sickly Tiny Tim. The story takes place on the Klingon planet of Kronos during the Feast of the Long Night.

PUNJABI JINGLE BELLS>>>

Despite beng racist and a little creepy, I can't stop watching this video which, by the way, was produced by Nickelodeon.

THE INTERN IS SCREWING AROUND ON THE INTERNET AGAIN >>>

I was thinking I should post this on President's Day, but it's just too f***ing awesome to wait until February. 

VIDEO HOT SPOT >>>

Christopher Wood, a film critic for the Weekly Volcano, reviewed last night's Grit City Flicks mini festival, which screened to a packed room at the Washington State History Museum as part of the Tacoma Film Festival.

Click here to see a schedule of today's Tacoma Film Festival films.

LINK: TFF goes local

LINK: TFF on twitter

LINK: TFF website

LINK: We wrote a TFF cover story

STEPH DEROSA: DOODLE LA, DOODLE LA, DOODLE LA >>>

Alfredâ's Cafe & Bubble Room on Puyallup Avenue is THE place to catch a Seahawk's game.  With a plethora of mirrors, you can't help but either hate yourself for not looking in a mirror before you left the house, or watch the damn television.  Not that there isn't a huge flat screen in front of you everywhere you look, but the mirrors make it impossible for anyone to catch a bad seat in the house.  Add a grand bar, cold beer, and Alfred's extensive bar food menu to that Seahawk's game and you got yourself a case of testosterone overload.  Ah yes, the warm, fiery scent of testosterone - a perfect thing to be overloaded with on a Sunday morning, if you ask me.

As I took a much-needed break in order to re-collect my estrogen, I pondered the upcoming football season, the fall, and the holidays to come.  I mentally took a look back at 2008, at everything I've been fortunate enough to take part in and experience.  Instead of writing out my memoirs and developing intense thumb-cramps, I've decided to put together a little recollection video. 

Thank you Destruction Island for creating the tunes you are about to hear.

STEPH DEROSA: LINK MANIA >>>

Wow's Etc. has the amazing ability to make people forget they have anything important to do. When The KAke and I stop in for a quick drink we seem to re-arrange our priorities. All of the sudden that crucial errand she had to run can wait, and those 600 words about my own degree of existentialism can be written some other time. Pappi Swarner's deadlines mean nothing to me at this point, I'm at Wow's Lush Rush¬" OK?

En route to Wow's lavatory, one must shimmy between whomever is sitting at the bar and whomever is loading change into the jukebox. The typical Wow's patron will stand obsessively at the jukebox while proudly singing and dancing to every Led Zeppelin choice that dollar would buy. It's moments like this I wish I had my video camera. Dammit! Another fine moment not showcased on YouTube.

I love YouTube. There are some extremely hilarious videos cataloged within the depths of this wondrous Web site. As I rest in Wow's restroom, I remind myself of past favorite videos. I'm not talking about the gross ones or the ones that poke fun at the obese kid screaming on a roller coaster. I'm talking about simple and pure entertainment. I'm talking about the clever shit. And don't worry, none of these are Rickrolls.   

One of my favorite set of comedic men is Barats and Bereta. These yahoos are Gonzaga alumni, and they make me giggle like a naughty schoolgirl. Check out the timeless classic Mother's Day. Some of my other favorites are Bible in a Minute, Completely Uncalled For, and my favorite: Kayne Hands.

I'll embarrassingly admit that even my 6-year-old likes Kanye West. Her favorite song is Stronger,and I let her jam out to the radio-edited version on occasion. Don't judge me. Hell, I saw Grease in the movie theaters when I was 5. It wasn't until I was in college that I realized the true meaning behind the song Greased Lightning.So I doubt very seriously she will catch what Kanye means when he says, Play secretary I'm the boss tonight.

Of course Barats and Bereta's Kanye Hands video is one of the many video responses to the ever popular Daft Hands¬" Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. That dude made it big time with his little ol YouTube video. He OWNED the talk show circuit after his video his the Internetz. My other favorite Daft Hands versions are Wellesly Rugby Team, and the male version of Daft Bodies. Mmmmmmm¦hot men.

Another favorite old YouTube standby is Okay Go, but not the treadmill one. That one's cool, check out Ok Go's Million Ways to be Cruel. The treadmill video of Here it Goes Again was not initially supposed to be posted on YouTube. But after it ultimately hit the Internet video circuit the song became instantaneously popular, so Ok Go let it stay. Even high school talent shows took on the fantastic fitness routine. It was YouTube that shoved them into the limelight, so instead of fighting, Ok Go embraced YouTube.

Anyone who knows me also knows at times I like to act 12-years-old again. Really immature humor makes my sides buckle, and toilet humor always makes me double over with laughter. Mr. Methane has raw, unbridled talent that can only be captured by posting a video on YouTube. You also have to see Stoned Firefighter, and Furniture Sex.

Charlie the Unicorn is phenomenal, and it shocks me that it has yet to sweep the Oscars.

ESPN has cornered the market on comedic commercials. They're brilliant in every way. One fan has dedicated an entire YouTube channel to said commercials. I gotta say, though, being a Texas A&M fan my favorite is this one.

Jon Lajolie has some funny stuff going on like Show me Your Genitals and Not Giving a Fuck. In really bad taste one can even venture into videos like Rapist Glasses and Pedophile Beard.

Now in even WORST taste one can watch a retched video (which I refuse to link) called 2 Girls 1 Cup and then post the video of your reaction. Best reaction I've seen so far is the Grandma Reaction. 2 Girls 1 Cup is a pornographic video of two girls eating each other's poop and vomit. I don't recommend anyone watching the original pornographic video.

Was the last paragraph out of line? I think not, seeing as how this IS Toilet Tales.

And that, my friends, was the Steph DeRosa guided tour of YouTube. There's so much more out there¬" get online and click away. You'll never know what you'll run into.

LINK: Weekly Volcano's Video Hot Spot