Note: It's time once more to unfairly judge films based on their likely misleading and poorly representative trailers. Would you rather have it any other way?

Do you know what I crave in the remaining weeks before Spring beams benevolently down upon us? A good scare - a fright fest! So, mind the hairs on the back of your neck, for they will surely be standing on end once I am done relaying to you this terrifying tale.

As the trailer for The Roommate helpfully informs us, there are 16 million college students in the United States, "but there's only one you live with." First of all, it's "with whom you live," ya dumb trailer. Secondly, you know, you could also live with two people in a dorm. Or live off-campus in a college house. Either of these scenarios would probably be preferable to the living (or, rather, non-living) situation posited in The Roommate.

But, OK. Picture this: you are an attractive girl in college, and you find yourself sharing a dormitory room with another attractive college girl. So far, everything's going great. Your blonde (read: secretly evil) roommate is friendly, er, really friendly. Like, try to imagine the friendliest person you've ever met except with a little more crazy behind the eyes.

First you're having fun, enjoying being young and attractive and wealthy or smart enough to wind up in a well-regarded, almost certainly accredited university. You hit the nightclubs, you marvel at the cuteness of kittens, you discuss the merits of social networking.

Look, this situation is old hat to practically all of us. You befriend the wrong person, they invade your life, murder your boyfriend, style their hair exactly like you, rip your friend's belly ring out in the shower (!), finish the rest of the milk without asking, leave the TV on all night, etc.

That is precisely why The Roommate will be so scary! Because of its universality! It speaks to an innate fear that every human holds deep within their heart! That you will bunk with a crazy blonde girl who seeks only to possess you!

One last thing: The director of The Roommate is named Christian Christiansen. Uh-huh. Hey Christiansen, Alan Smithee called and he wants his nom de plume back!

Well, not his nom de plume, exactly, but, uh, you get my point.