I'm going to indulge myself for a moment and tell you a tragic tale. At the ripe old age of 19, I received my first military assignment - Camp Casey, Korea.

Within a month of arriving on foreign soil, I met an amazing young man - or so I thought. He was a few years older than I and seemed to have the Korea thing down pat. We started dating, and I thought I was in love. That was until I received a phone call at my barracks from his wife.

Maybe it was naivety, but it never occurred to me to ask if he was married. I assumed that he wouldn't be dating anyone if he was unavailable. It wasn't long before I discovered there was a term that many military men and women used while away from their families for a year in Korea. TDY, which usually means temporary duty, was reinvented as the term "temporarily divorced for a year."

Many spouses have gotten wise to the antics that happen while overseas and typically dread any assignments to the Asian isle that require long-term separation. Amy Weizman, former wife of an Army specialist, said her husband, too, dated while he was stationed in Korea.

"When he first got there, we were talking every day over the phone and on the Internet," she said. "Within a few months, he started calling less and less. It wasn't hard for me to imagine why he wasn't communicating with me like before."

Weizman's marriage ended in heartbreak when her husband came home mid-tour and told her he had met someone else.

"In just a few months, he had met a younger girl and decided that me and the kids were baggage," she said. "I never even knew that I should expect something like this."

Social workers at Madigan Army Medical Center say marriages don't have to be destined for failure simply because of a long-term separation, though.

Sharon Ayala, spokeswoman for MAMC, gave the following tips: enroll in a pre-deployment couples class; establish a written plan devised as a couple for addressing communication, relationships, parenting, finances and other concerns; create a support network that involves positive and productive activities as well as a network of emotional support; and commit to some positive goal during that year of deployment such as continuing education or learning a new skill that will benefit the family following the deployment.

When there is a significant fear of cheating, by either spouse, couples can devise a contract or strategy for avoiding temptations and maintaining appropriate boundaries with members of the opposite sex, Ayala said. Agreeing to avoid making any life-altering decisions during a separation is also a good rule of thumb. Finding resources - whether from a medical, mental health or spiritual professional - prior to a separation can alleviate concerns, too.

Hospital officials also recommend maintaining family rituals that involve the separated soldier. This can help couples maintain a healthy relationship. Continued communication and a healthy interest in the new environment or culture he or she is experiencing can also keep relationships on the right track.

"I think if we would have considered the possible temptations and discussed them openly before he left my marriage could have survived," Weizman said. "Unfortunately, I never even considered that he could meet someone else."