WEEKLY VOLCANO: Who are you and what do you do?

EMILY COOK: I used to be the Orange Power Ranger, but the only stunts I could do were giving the finger and sometimes vomiting, so they cut me out of the show. I also did backup vocals for Nickleback until I found out what real music was. And in the winter I make Banana Fosters and play the didgeridoo outside on Sixth and Pine.

VOLCANO: Biggest turn-ons?

COOK: Air guitar, bubble gum wads, long shirts with short skirts, belly button lint, high-pitched laughing.

VOLCANO: Biggest turn-offs?

COOK: Air xylophone and touching ketchup.

VOLCANO: How do you explain your victory in the 2011 Weekly Volcano Sexy Issue? Obviously you're doing something right. ...

COOK: Well, it was easy in the beginning and then toward the middle it was really hard, but I was very satisfied with the outcome of it. #thatswhatshesaid. But honestly, I am very flattered and honored to be Tacoma's Sexiest Female Bartender of 2011 ... I guess all that waxing really paid off.

VOLCANO: Is it ever difficult being so hot?

COOK: Sometimes, because my cleavage starts to sweat, but most of the time I just have my friends follow me around with a big palm tree leaf. 

VOLCANO: What's your favorite thing about where you live and work? What makes it sexy?

COOK: I live near Cheney Stadium and there is nothing sexier than hearing fireworks exploding and thinking your roommate shot himself again by accident. The sexiest thing about working at MASA, besides the people, is cutting limes. You have to see the process to know what I am talking about. 

VOLCANO: Given the opportunity, one thing you'd like to say is:   

COOK: I did not have sexual relations with that woman.