The Writer's charge isn't easy: Take two disparate movie characters and the Art at Work events calendar and blend them into a cohesive narrative. Such a task requires a certain psychedelic mentality achievable only with the aid of a sensory deprivation tank or psychotropic drug use rivaling that of Ozzy Osbourne. Lacking access to either, the Writer sets about creating the proper mindset using the materials already at hand: a fast-approaching deadline and a horrific lack of sleep.

Due to the movie ticket from Last Action Hero magic, Grace Kelly and Katniss Everdeen find themselves transported from their films to downtown Tacoma.

They scarcely have time to exchange introductions when the Writer, his taut, bronzed muscles rippling with strength and vitality, his stallion mane of platinum blond hair billowing majestically behind him in an unending gale of filmic "hero wind," spies them when he chances to look up from his computer and runs to intercept the confused cinematic expatriates.

"Ladies, so glad you're here. First things first: Jennifer, you were a much better Mystique than Rebecca Romijn. Nicole, uh ... Bewitched wasn't as terrible as everyone said it was."

Grace and Katniss look at each other perplexedly, and turn back to the Writer with a unified cry of, "WHAT?!"

"Never mind," the Writer says. "We've got some issues. For one, your movies are premiering without you in them! For two, I have to finish my article promoting Art at Work Month - a feast of literary, visual and performing arts throughout November in Tacoma. I wrote you here, so logically I'm the one who has to write the silly deus ex machina to get you back.  But if I'm going to do that, youtwo need to help me finish my article."

The ladies turn to each other, and then back to the Writer in stunned silence.

"Terrific!" yells the Writer. "Look over the calendar at artatwork.com, pick some events and comment on them. It shouldn't be hard; there's a lot happening this year that caters to strong, empowered women like yourselves: The Joy Luck Club, Steel Magnolias, Driving Miss Daisy ..."

"What's The Rocky Horror Picture Show?" Grace asks.

"I've never seen it," says the Writer. "I think it's about a woman who becomes a doctor.  She's not much of a looker, though."

"And Erotic City - Tribute to Prince?" asks Katniss.

"Basically the same thing, only purple," says the Writer. "Oh, and Hunting for Cooper would be right up your alley. It's all about hunting a guy in the woods."

"That wasn't nearly as fun as you might think," Katniss says glumly.

"Great. I'll work on getting you back on the big screen," the Writer says.

The Writer furiously types away while the ladies look over the calendar.

"Hmm, Les Miserables?" says Grace.

"Girls Night Out," says Katniss.

"LADIES Night Out! Even better," replies Grace.

"Ooo, In the Next Room (or The VIBRATOR Play)!" both ladies exclaim.

"Oh, I've seen that. It Ruhls," says the Writer. "OK, I've gotit. You two go to the nearest theater, step into a screen, and with any luck you should be back in your movies."

"That's IT?!" says Katniss.

"Hey, I'll admit it's a bit lazy," says the Writer, "but it worked for The Purple Rose of Cairo."

"But, that's so anti-climactic," says Grace.

"I know, and I feel bad about it, but I'm about to hit my word count," says the Writer.

Sometime later, the Writer sits back, enjoying the satisfaction of a job well done, or just done. Meanwhile, theater audiences everywhere struggle to understand why Nicole Kidman is competing in the Hunger Games and why Grace Kelly is a brunette armed with a bow and arrow.

Art at Work Month

Tacoma Art at Work Month encompasses more than 300 events and exhibits during the month of November. In the previous 11 years, there has always been a full printed booklet of all Art at Work events. This year, however, the booklet has undergone some changes - namely, it's mostly gone online at ArtAtWorkTacoma.com.

Ed. note: Nicole Kidman will play the titular princess in the upcoming film, Grace of Monaco. The movie has been bumped from November of this year to spring 2014, making it clear that maybe the movie isn't up to Oscar standards. Jennifer Lawrence returns to the deadly arena in the latest installment of Suzanne Collins's sci-fi post-apocalyptic series Hunger Games - this time with ultra-nasty, extra-vicious supergames. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire hits the screens Nov. 22.

See Also

Here comes Tacoma's Art at Work Month

Five artists to visit during the Tacoma Studio Tour