Thing: Emily's Chocolates

Manufactured in: Fife

Product is: A little on the pricey side

When: Shopping at local retailers

Like: Metropolitan Market

Although: You can save a buck

By: Shopping at the factory's outlet

Listen: And learn, folks

Hidden somewhat inconspicuously off Interstate 5 and 20th Street in Fife, an abundance of discount retail warehouses and factory outlets provide low-cost shopping alternatives to many, many cheap asses like myself.

Admittedly, I often take advantage of Sportco, Costco in Fife (different than the others) and the Brown & Haley factory outlet.  New to my list of cheap gift go-to spots is Emily's Chocolates, located on the corner of Frank Albert Road and Industry Drive.

Until recently, I would only treat myself on the rare and very special occasion to a small bag of Emily's chocolate covered cashews or chocolate covered cherries - both of which would roughly cost me an upward of $7 each. Do you know what a girl like me can do with $7? 

During any given dive bar happy hour, $7 could buy me enough beer to not remember how I got home and why my bra smells like Taco Bell.  See my point?  With $7 I'd be able to get loaded and buy dinner!

Are Emily's Chocolates really worth the $7?  Hell yeah they are.

There's something about the solid, yet creamy texture that tastes so refined, wrapped around whatever the hell nut or fruit Emily chooses to throw into her 10-gallon double boiler inside that massive candy factory in Fife. 

Dudes - listen up! Your women will drop their panties for this stuff. Even better: Emily's Chocolates factory outlet store in Fife has those damn $7 bags of candy for $3.99!

Go for the peanut butter-filled, chocolate-covered pretzels, or the chocolate-covered peppermint marshmallows. Those are my personal faves.  If you're a fruit kind of muncher, I suggest any of the chocolate covered raisins, blueberries, cherries, cranberries or apple cinnamon dices.

Love marshmallows?  Go ahead and purchase the factory's leftovers - $8.98 for a five-pound bag.

You'll definitely get yourself into some sort of gift-giving spirit by patronizing Emily's factory outlet, but in the end don't forget who sent you there ... ME.  Gratuities accepted at Weekly Volcano World Headquarters.

[Emily's Chocolates, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Friday, 4401 Industry Dr. E., Fife, 888.469.2637]