Tara Reid, Bram Stoker, the Olympia Film Festival. Admittedly an odd list to kick off any conversation, even for me, but trust me when I say they all have one thing in common. Thanks to my tireless fact-finding, I've uncovered a startling truth: T-Reid, the Stokes and OFF each turn one year older Nov. 8 (famousbirthdays.com - what a godsend).

But as much as we've loved watching/reading Dracula and were swept off our feet with Tara's performance in Sharknado, we South Sounders can't wait to celebrate the date of 11/8 with the great Olympia Film Fest. And not just any birthday, but a true milestone ... the big Three-Oh.

And while mere humans usually receive no more than a single day of congratulations for reaching this historic marker, a mammoth event like OFF cranks up the revelry factor by 10, so you can party from the 8th until the final film fades to black on the 17th. I may have to do exactly that; those folks over at the Olympia Film Society have reeled in this sucker for cinema with so many celeb visits, films, workshops, films, concerts and films (oh the films you will see!) that resistance is plain dumb.

Like a chocoholic at a free sampling, I had plenty of I-must-try-THAT moments while dashing from page to page on the festival website. One of the first images to greet you on the homepage is the calm, smiling face of actor Peter Coyote, who is the recipient of OFF's Lifetime Achievement Award for 2013. The honor has only existed since last year (writer/director Philip Kaufman and actor Fred Willard both won in 2012), and with Coyote's honor it may turn into a permanent feature of the festival. "(The award) is a good thing for the film festival to be able to raise the bar in terms of the guest roster," notes festival director Lisa Hurwitz. Unfortunately, Coyote's calm face on the website is a misnomer. A last-minute schedule conflict has forced him to collect his award at a later date.

Certain to make your face blush, Hurwitz and company plan to bring back for another go Hump! Fest, The Stranger's tongue-in-cheek-and-everywhere-else amateur porn festival. Can a single word sum up a slew of sexy shorts made by people you may know (and get to know better after watching)?

Also due to popular demand, Hurwitz and company plan to bring back for another go Hump! Fest, The Stranger's tongue-in-cheek-and-everywhere-else amateur porn festival. Can a single word sum up a slew of sexy shorts made by people you may know (and get to know better after watching)?

"Double," says Hurwitz. No entendre implied, but she only means that Hump! will screen twice Nov. 15 - 9:30 p.m. and an encore at the "stroke" o' midnight (couldn't resist). Get ready to have your eyes blown. OK, now I'm spent.

Eager to add modern attractions while staying true to the classics - this gentle tug between new and old defines OFF at its 30-year mark. The Capitol Theater's sixty-five-thousand-dollar, 4K-resolution digital projector will whir to life for the first time on opening night for the French feature Swim Little Fish Swim (Nov. 8, 6 p.m.). The night cruises along with a live concert headlined by The Julie Ruin (see right), featuring that blast from Olympia's punk past, Kathi Wilcox and Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill fame.

The very next day, that brand-new projector will shuttle viewers back in time to festival fave All Freakin' Night, with campy ‘80s horror like Motel Hell and Nightmare City serving as our blood-soaked guides. Hurwtiz recalls host Kenny Ward (Your Daily Hour With Me on Thurston County Television) playing Bobbing For Organs with participants at last year's AFN. "I don't know what he's got up his sleeve for this year," she says, "but I'm sure it will be good."

As Film Society volunteer for four years and festival director for the last two, Hurwitz has plenty of movie memories to share. She still donates her time as projectionist on Sundays at the theater, and remembers "the first day I walked into the projector booth," asked for the rulebook and found out it didn't exist.

So it goes with OFF. Thirty years ago when it began, there wasn't any manual, no how-to video for brewing a successful festival. So they wrote their own rules, and have succeeded in doing so ever since. After a few decades of surprising and entertaining audiences that keep coming back for more, the only book the Olympia Film Festival needs is a scrapbook.