I recently volunteered to review the new Melvins record, Hold It In, released, of course, on Mike Patton's Ipecac Recording, Oct. 14. Those close to me probably got a laugh at that sentence. I immediately laughed at myself and the realization that this was about to be the most biased review ever written. I mean, the band can release an album of them recording their own belches after a satisfying Cracker Barrel tour meal and I would call it genius. 

So is it a good record? 

Let me fill you in on some details before answering this.

Melvins fans are aware after the departure of the longest tenured bassist in the marching band of former Melvins bassists, Kevin Rutmanis, the band has been toying with the line-up. The official yet unofficial current line-up is that of "King Buzzo" Buzz Osbourne on guitar and vox, Dale Crover on drums and the best live vocals EVER, Coady Willis on drums and Jarred Warren on bass and vox. Willis and Warren also perform in the band Big Business. When it's Business time, the Melvins invite Trevor Dunn to play outside.

Most recently, the Melvins toured with Mr. Jeff Pinkus of Honky replacing Warren while he and his girlfriend shared in the joy of childbirth. You might remember before Honky, Mr. Pinkus belonged to another Texas band - one from the '80s that just so happened to be a favorite of a young Mr. Osbourne - Butthole Surfers. You might not know it was around that time Osbourne was leaving frozen bags of shrimp behind the paper towels to thaw, collect maggots and a nice aroma in the Montesano Supermarket.

This relationship brought about a dream line-up for many of us with Buzz and Dale joining forces with Surfers Pinkus and guitarist Paul Leary. The Melvins meets The Butthole Surfers. It's this line-up that released the latest Melvins album, Hold It In.

Now you tell me: is this a good record? You haven't even heard it yet (maybe you have by now) and you know it is.

Soundcloud has given us the gift of two songs for pre-release enjoyment. The first song entitled "Brass Cupcake" pays homage to the Surfers, even touching more on their newer more upbeat and straightforward style.  Buzz sings a simple melody over a very catchy pop riff that erupts into an intense measure with the familiar squeal of Paul Leary for the chorus. Then, with a more traditional Melvins twist, the second half of the song is unlike the first half and is what the Melvins would call straight forward to them - a heavy in your face riff with off time change ups. The second song, "Sesame Street Meat," is a crusher. Slow, heavy, the bass tuned so low the notes are almost inaudible, and Buzz telling us all about life through gibberish. Pure Melvins bliss. This one put a smile on my face and made me want to go write "fuck" on a wall someplace and get caught doing it. The opening song is titled "Bride of Crankenstein."  Say no more.

So I leave you with this: The record is out; go buy it. Download it if that is your thing but pay dammit. Money spent on the best heavy rock band to ever walk the earth (humble opinion?) is well spent. Go to the show on Roctober 18th at The Showbox. You will want to do this anyway because hell yes it is a good record.

This is a gift bestowed upon us by members of two of life's greatest bands. Enjoy it to the fullest. It is a great record.

THE MEVLINS HOLD IT IN TOUR, w/Le Butcherettes, 9 p.m., Saturday, Oct. 18, The Showbox, 1426 First Ave., Seattle, $22.50 at axs.com, $25 door, 206.628.3151