White Christmas

Bing Crosby's recording of Irving Berlin's White Christmas is considered by Guinness to be the best-selling single of all time, at more than 50 million copies. That, my friends, is a lot of frickin' records.

On the quality of Berlin's songwriting, Crosby had this to say: "A jackdaw with a cleft palate could have sung it successfully."

And so it is with the musical of the same name, a showcase of nothing but Berlin. Whether the story or the characters make a terrific amount of sense is fairly irrelevant to the songs at hand.

So, though I think we can safely assume Tacoma Musical Playhouse has failed to cast the zombies of Crosby or Rosemary Clooney, it is also reasonable to believe Berlin's songs will survive this hit and maintain their quality.

[Tacoma Musical Playhouse, through Dec. 19, 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, 2 p.m. Saturday Dec. 4, 11, 18, $27, 7116 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.565.6867]

Annie

Whenever theaters produce the musical Annie, great pains are put forth to recreate the eponymous Little Orphan's extremely unlikely hair. I've never seen anyone with hair quite like it, and the wigs strain credibility at the best of times.

You never see theater companies striving to realize Annie's other improbable anatomical feature, though. Just once, I'd like to see an entirely pupil-less Annie put on stage. Sure, half the audience wouldn't be able to tell, but it's those little details that really drive the actors to the heart of their characters.

Unfortunately, sources inside Tacoma Little Theatre's forthcoming rendition tell me they have yet to uncover even a single pair of solid white contacts in the prop closet, so clearly the time is not yet ripe. I suspect, however, my complaint is unique, or close to it, and plenty of audience members will find a way to enjoy the show - pupils and all.

[Tacoma Little Theatre, through Dec. 24, 7:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sundays and Dec. 22, 23, 24, $26, 210 N. I St., Tacoma, 253.272.2281]

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Other, non-North American English-speaking countries know the film of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by an alternate title: The Worst Kids In The World. That should tell you about the quality of the characters in question, and the odds that the title will actually come true. The Herdman clan will be on hand to teach you all about the true spirit of Christmas by lying, cheating, stealing, smoking and other wholesome endeavors. It's a feel-good season of joy for everyone. Or something.

[Lakewood Playhouse, through Dec. 23, 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sundays, 7:30 p.m. Dec. 21-23, $25, 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd., Lakewood, 253.588.0042]