SUZY STUMP: 5 THINGS TO DO TODAY >>>

1 P.M.: The National Association of Office and Industrial Properties will hold a boat tour of the Port of Tacoma on today at 1129 Dock St., Gate No. 8.  The tour is from 1 to 4 p.m. Participants will get insight into the port’s future plans for development and see terminal operations. Space is limited.  Climb aboard here.

5:30 P.M.: First things first. I only throw strikes by accident, and I spend my fair share of time in the gutter. Still, I really love to go bowling with friends. The crew and I plan on attending Project:U’s Pins 4 Pens strikefest and school supply drive tonight at Narrows Plaza Bowl. No, the drink specials are not the draw. Actually, neither is the bowling. Money raised will help needy kids stock up on school supplies. Keep score here.

7 P.M.: Over at O’Blarney’s Irish Pub the powers that be think, at least on Thursday nights, that playing darts, shooting pool and drinking all at the same time isn’t enough of a challenge. So they add that old staple to the mix â€" the pub quiz. Prime topics include those bar faves entertainment and sports.

9 P.M.: San Francisco’s the Bar Feeders and Portland’s Lopez â€" two of the drunkest and rowdiest punk bands you’ll ever find â€" are set to play Hell’s Kitchen tonight. Joining them will be fellow Bay Area punk rockers Triclops and Kitsap boys The Enemies Of. All in all, it should be enough to inspire at least a few calls in sick tomorrow morning â€" at least from those in attendance who are employed in the first place.

9 P.M.: Slo Poke aka SP, a veteran on the mic and The Source Magazine’s Unsigned Hype for January 2008 has his highly anticipated sophomore release, The Appreciation Of… in stores.  Check him out tonight at The Royal Lounge in Olympia. More details in our new hip-hop column.

LINK: Viva South Sound arts and entertainment calendar
LINK: Live music and DJs

JAKE DE PAUL: THE MORNING BREW >>>

1. Kanye West to become fast-food mogul? (NME)

2. We heart meat (Weekly Volcano)

3. We dig The Red Hot (Weekly Volcano)

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

MICHEAL SWAN: INSIDE THE WEEKLY VOLCANO >>>

Oh! What a web of tangled flesh we South Sounders weave! Folks still trot out the ol' misty-eyed cynicisms: romance is dead, sex is boring, love is impossible, "I'm too fat".... But that doesn't stop 'em from doing it until their knees ache when they get the winky come-on. But still. Love exists, right? And love leads to sex. Or to real sex. Or the other way around. Something. The Weekly Volcano delves into sex (actually, it’s more about nudity) this week. Maybe it'll help make things a little clearer. Maybe!

COUNTER-SEX CULPRITS: Body trashing creates an inferiority complex and reduces the desire to have sex.

MAKING NUDITY FUN AGAIN: Bridget Irish hangs human genitals on the Reef’s walls.

THE ART OF STRIPPING: Theater critic Steve Dunkelberger visits Fox’s.

BOMBSHELL EXHIBITION: ’50s erotica hangs at Rebecca V Gallery.

WE HEART MEAT: A market where we like to score.

D’S FANTASY SHOP: A chat with Donna K. Sheneman.

ADVICE GODDESS: Late Bloomer and Stuck have issues.

Oh, and here are a few items that are news to us:

METRO PARKS SURVEY: Small group gives Tacoma’s parks people a piece of their mind.

BUSINESS BODY: Tacoma City Council ordinance 27737 hopes to improve business district communication.

THE METER: Below average week in Pierce County.

DANIEL BLUE: MEET ADAM MARTIN >>>

Adam Martin might be too smart for his own good. When I met him a few years ago we knew instantly that we would be friends. He is easy to read, and the reading says, "good one."

Having started and grown weary with a green insulation business called BioIntegra, Adam is still passionate about the way we live our lives and the manner in which we treat the earth and one another. For a long time his favorite phrase was "off the grid," which to him meant a lifestyle independent of the machine of which Pink Floyd sings. These ideas are not new. Adam, however, is attempting to live this way not in a commune out on the prairie but in urban and population-dense areas. 

He reads too much, in my opinion, and knows too much and probably thinks too much as well.

His voice is soothing and his tone sometimes extremely convincing. Persuasive and demonstrative, he wants people to look at life a bit differently, perhaps take the bus to Seattle and walk your ass about, instead of taking space parking and using up resources. His business sense, conservation and intelligence will probably whisk him through the apocalypse and the next great depression.

LINK: The Tacoma Files archive

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

THE DAILY WORD

Spoony \SPOO-nee\, adjective:
1. Foolish; silly; excessively sentimental.
2. Foolishly or sentimentally in love.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Defying the usual laws of human and inanimate object relations, Matt Driscoll and his copy of Madden 09 fell deeply in love. Their spoony public displays of affection began to worry and unnerve some people.

MORNING NEWS

TACOMA: A ruling that makes sense, finally

OLYMPIA: Guilty pleas in cigarette scheme

SEATTLE: Heat and pollution - the connection

UNITED STATES: Google will eat you up

ENVIRONMENT: Democrat green goals

JUST BIZARRE: Pooh gets violent

MORE STRANGE NEWS: Awfully big stick

THINGS TO DO TODAY
FILM LISTINGS: Look here
MUSIC LISTINGS: Here’s what’s happening
SHOOT THE SHIT: Weekly Volcano forums

STEPH DEROSA: I FOUND A TRUE DIVE >>>

HOLY LORD OF ALL DIVE BARS â€" I’VE HIT THE MOTHERLOAD! Whoa whoa whoa baby, the lounge part of Pine Street Landing and Lounge on the corner of 38th and Pine is a damn goldmine, I tell ya, a GOLDMINE.

The initial dive bar giveaway was the “and Lounge” at the end of the restaurant name. Second hint was the separate “back door” entrance to the lounge.

The fact that a female newcomer stopped and sang David Allen Coe’s “You Don’t Have To Call Me Darlin’” verbatim, well it made the regulars stop and stare. I was at home, literally. My daddy would be so proud.

Check out what else I discovered, including the discussion regarding douches, here.

STEVE DUNKELBERGER: THEATER THURSDAY >>>

Fiddler on the Roof
Capital Playhouse is staging Fiddler on the Roof â€" the well-known story about family traditions and social customs in a changing world place in the Ukraine during the tumultuous times of World War II â€" through Sunday. This closing production of its summer theater program will go out with a bang as the cast peaks at 63.
[South Puget Sound Community College’s KJM Center, 7:30 p.m. Thursday-Sunday, 2 p.m. Sunday, $10-$15, 2011 Mottman Road, Olympia, 360.943.2744]

My Fair Lady
Encore! Theater opens My Fair Lady today and plans to keep it fair through the end of the month. The story of a social study between nature and nurture pits the less-than-refined upbringing of Eliza Doolittle with the brains to make her refined offered by Harry Higgins. Bring your lawn chair and a blanket to view theater under the stars.
[Impact Church International, through Aug. 31, 7 p.m. Fri-day-Sunday, $8-$15, 4819 Hunt St., Gig Harbor, 253.858.2282]

LINK: South Sound stage productions this week

BILL TIMNICK: DO THE PUYALLUP >>>

There are more reasons to spend a weekend in Puyallup than just a chance to spend more time at the Western Washington Fair â€" but that’s a good reason, too, and The Fair starts in less than a month.  Still, what else does Puyallup have to offer?

For one, Puyallup is home to the largest farmers’ market in Western Washington.  The Puyallup Main Street Farmers’ Market operates out of the Pioneer Park Pavilion in the city’s downtown.  The market offers locally grown produce, nursery plants, arts and crafts items, and prepared food.  It’s open weekends through August and continues on Saturdays through October. 

Downtown Puyallup is also home to an outdoor art gallery that is open year-round and features the works of local artists â€" student and professional alike.  The bulk of the works on display are sculptures. A few are permanently installed, but many are for sale.  Free walking tours of the outdoor downtown gallery are available.  Visit their Web site to learn more.

Arts Downtown will be among the beneficiaries at this year’s Summer Wine Festival at the Puyallup fairgrounds.  The festival is set for Saturday, Aug. 23, at the Fred Oldfield Western Heritage Center (artist Oldfield is also the featured guest) from 2 to 8 p.m.  The event features wine tasting as well as sales.  Twelve Washington wineries are taking part.  Tickets are $13 in advance and $15 at the door.  Visit the Arts Downtown Web site for more information.

Visitors to the Meeker Mansion can explore the history of the Puyallup Valley and the Oregon Trail.  The Victorian era mansion was built for Puyallup Valley pioneer Ezra Meeker in the 1890s.  The mansion/museum is open to visitors through mid-December from noon to 4 p.m.  In addition to the preserved homestead itself, the mansion features a gift shop. The facility can be booked for weddings and hosted Victorian teas, where tea is served in English bone china teacups.  For more information, call 253.848.1770.  The Meeker Mansion is at 312 Spring St. in downtown.

As to local accommodations, Puyallup offers at least one alternative to the Best Western/Holiday Inn formula.  The four guest rooms at Tayberry Victorian Cottage Bed and Breakfast feature floral papered walls, claw foot tubs (in private baths), and down comforters as well as more modern amenities.  The Tayberry is at 7406 80th St. E.  Call 253.848.4594 for more information.

SUZY STUMP: FROST PARK CHALK OFF >>>

If you think sidewalk chalk is only good for hopscotch, you've got another think coming. Tomorrow, thousands of South Sound artists will descend upon Frost Park in downtown Tacoma at noon, turning its concrete into canvas for the weekly Frost Park Chalk Off at Ninth and Pacific Avenue. Witness unbelievable feats of illustration, and create some of your own. The Weekly Volcano will award the winner a future cover.

LINK: Frost Park Chalk Off deep background