Every New Year's Eve we do it to ourselves. Why? Is it the sweet clink of the ice cubes? The exhilarating pop of the cork? Or just the way the night seems to open up into endless magical possibilities?

Whatever it is, things aren't so magical the next morning. There's nothing glamorous or exhilarating about bloodshot eyes swollen shut. Instead of trying to remember who dropped the poison into your eyeballs, soothe the savage orb with wikiHow's seven steps to cure puffy eyes. You're so welcome.

From everyone at the Weekly Volcano and Spew land, we wish you a happy new year!

LINK: 5 Ways to be a Better (cough) You!

SUNDAY, JAN. 1, 2011 >>>

1. Here at the Weekly Volcano we take our showers warm. We're kind of wimps. But there are plenty of tough, adventurous, rosy-cheeked folks out there who live on the edge, no doubt partaking in activities like today's Polar Bear Plunge at Point Defiance Marina. According to hype, the New Year's Day cold-water fiasco presents a chance to get 2012 off on the right foot. As the press release says, "The New Year offers opportunities to set new goals and try new things, so get your bucket list out and come take the Plunge with other jubilant merrymakers at the Point Defiance Marina." The all-ages Polar Bear plunge will go down rain or shine, starting at 11:30 a.m.

2. If you have yet to check out the ice skating adventures in currently being offered in Tollefson, today might just be your chance to do so. With its stay recently extended through Jan. 8, The Franciscan Polar Plaza, located on the corner of Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street, is a covered outdoor rink is about half the size of a hockey rink. It will have real ice and hold about 150 skaters at a time. And it's pretty awesome.

3. Nursing a hangover? Find your way to The Grand Cinema in Tacoma for a great movie in a dark room. My Week with Marilyn, The Descendants, Shame and Young Adult are currently playing. In Olympia, the place to hit is the Capitol Theater, where The Rum Diary and Margin Call are playing.  

4. There's a ton of football on today. New Year's Day is synomous the pigskin. Browse the Weekly Volcano's bar listings and find the perfect place to watch whatever game interests you.

5. So far, it's a pretty nice day. And since one of your New Year's resolutions undoubtedly involves being healthier (read: less fat), try an enjoyable walk through one of Tacoma's parks or along the Ruston Way waterfront. In Oly, a jaunt around Capitol Lake is always a good time. Or, if you're looking for more than just a walk, in Tacoma get in on the Metro Parks New Year's Day Dance at the South Park Community Center.

EXTRA CREDIT: The West Coast Bridal Showcase continues today at the Puyallup Fairgrounds.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight

LINK: This week's freebies

FREE EVENTS IN THE SOUTH SOUND JAN. 2-8, 2012 >>>

The folks in the Freeloaders-land R&D Department have been diligently working to find new ways to improve this column, and they think they've outdone themselves with their newest innovation. Just in time for the shorter days of winter, Bobble Tiki's column will soon glow in the dark! Are your children afraid to sleep at night? Just use Freeloaders as a comforting nightlight!  Read it in darkened rooms, use it to send signals across the Narrows - the options are nearly limitless! In celebration of this new development, Bobble Tiki will shed light on this week's free events that will help you see the light. So sit back, leave that lamp off for a few more minutes and enjoy!

MONDAY, JAN. 2: The Stevie Nicks landslide has brought Bobble Tiki to a life of corked, isolated displeasure.  Heartily aware of his divergence from productivity some 25 years ago, he nonetheless goes on, still picking at shag carpets for the cheap and banal and crying all the way to the bank. Not to be overly dramatic but Bobble Tiki has the feeling that the end is nigh.  He says this because he's starting to notice something extremely dire in his day-to-day swish through life, equal parts fabulous and scary, and therefore necessarily apocalyptic: His life is becoming just like the color of his hair. Bobble Tiki needs answers.  He needs them now! So he's stopping by the free Psychic Buffet that offers "a tasty treat for the soul" every first Monday of the month inside the Urban Onion Restaurant in downtown Olympia. Psychic Lisa Holm and crew offer energy healing with intuitive readings and numerology at 5 p.m.

TUESDAY, JAN. 3: As counterintuitive as it might initially seem, if you own a Nook or Kindle or a device with the Kindle app (iOS, Android, PC), you can learn how to download free e-books to your device from the folks at Pierce County Library.  Yes, students that includes Cliffs Notes, if you've managed to seriously drop the ball on homework.  As part of its "How To..." Month at the Summit Library, a librarian will teach you how to download for free at 7 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 4: If you're anything like Bobble Tiki you need to work off all the holiday cookies. If you are truly like Bobble Tiki than you know that's difficult because you have a spring instead of legs. If you do have legs, then Bobble Tiki suggests you hit the Cushman Trail in Gig Harbor.  It's quite lovely. Even more lovely - Sound Vista Village, a retirement community close to the trail, will serve complimentary cocoa, tea or coffee fireside during January.

THURSDAY, JAN. 5: Isabel Wilkerson's mesmerizing book The Warmth of Other Suns shed slight on the mass movement of six million African Americans from the south to the north in the middle decades of the 20th century - told through the lives of three people who joined the exodus. The Fireside Bookstore Book Group will discuss the book at 7 p.m. inside the historic Hotel Olympian in downtown Olympia.

FRIDAY, JAN. 6: Do you know about the case of Leonard Peltier? In 1975, two FBI agents were shot in a gunfight on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota. Peltier, as a representative of the American Indian Movement, was convicted of their murders in spite of a government case dependent on coerced testimony and suppressed evidence.  Robert Redford produced and narrated a documentary shedding light on the incident with an original musical score by John Trudell and Jackson Browne. Redford made the film in the hopes that Peltier's story, when it became more widely known, would make people demand his freedom though he has exhausted his legal appeals. Catch the film for free at 6 p.m. inside King's Books in Tacoma.

SATURDAY, JAN. 7: Saturday is just an artsy kinda day, isn't it?  Which is good, if you're an artsy kinda person.  And artsy kinda people need good days, because their lives are difficult. Oh, you chortle, but the price of Ramen has gone through the roof lately. But Saturday is an artsy day because Saturday is the first Saturday of the month, which means the Gig Harbor Monthly Art Walk is on.  Take a free, self-guided tour of the galleries along the Gig Harbor waterfront from 1-5 p.m. See other people's work and become inspired.

SUNDAY, JAN. 8: For weeks the newspaper ads have been catching Bobble Tiki's eye: "Psychic Readers Network - Work at Home - No Experience Necessary." If no experience is necessary, then anyone could be a telephone psychic, Bobble Tiki figures - even Bobble Tiki. He's determined to try. He has seen the late-night television commercials that portray psychics gleaning the innermost secrets of amazed callers. But before he takes the plunge, Bobble Tiki will do a little homework. He'll check out the Intuitive and Healing Arts Fair noon to 7 p.m. Saturday and noon to 5 p.m. Sunday at the Crystal Voyage in Tacoma.  Psychic readers in palm, face, tarot, angel card and past life promise to enlighten for free. Right now, the only thing Bobble Tiki can predict is last night's winning lottery numbers.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

MONDAY, JAN. 2, 2012 >>>

1. With three different singers, dual lead guitars and a solid rhythm sections around, Enumclaw's Palmer Jct blues band will fill The Swiss with, um, blues, but also soul, funk and a bit of jazz beginning at 8 p.m.

2. Drop-In Volleyball at the Center At Norpoint begins at 6 p.m. Dig it.

3. Put down the ice beer in 2012 and become the drinker you've always wanted to be. Start at the 1022 South lounge on Hilltop Tacoma.

4. Go to the Java Jive dressed as Neo, drink PBR, and play pool. But do it when it’s just you and a few friends, Junior, and two mentally questionable but enthusiastic “musicians.” These two should go by only their first names — one of them preceded by the title “Rockin’“ or “Crazy.” Get three Red Vines for 25 cents. More awesome ideas can be found in our 85 Things To Do In Tacoma Before You Die.

5. Ya ya ya - Rockaraoke at Jazzbones at 9 p.m. But have you actually gone? You'll be surprised at its awesomeness.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Subscribe to our music stories

LINK: This week's freebies

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Manhunt: Search continues for killer of Mount Rainier ranger. (News Tribune)

State Political Map: It's a go. (News Tribune)

Giant Check: Washington state Health Care Authority receiving $17 million as a federal bonus payment for having enrolled children in subsidized health care coverage. (News Tribune)

L.A. Arson: Fifty-five "fires of concern" have broken out in the Los Angeles area since Friday. (CNN)

Iowa Caucuses: Late strategies emerge. (CNN)

New Year On The Korean Peninsula: South Korean President Lee Myung-bak says the two Koreas are at a turning point. (BBC)

Marginal Revolutionaries: The crisis and the blogosphere have opened mainstream economics up to new attack. (The Economist)

Year-end Lists Continue: The 30 harshest musician-on-musician insults in history. (Flavorwire)

Year-end Lists Continue II: The worst people of 2011. (Videogum)

New Year's Eve: World's tallest building shows off. (Gizmodo)

Portrait Of The Year: George (Sexy People)

SIX AREA WINE BARS WORTH YOUR ATTENTION >>>

Tacoma and Olympia's wine bars can be the perfect places to gather with friends or with a date. Most are small, providing intimate and cozy atmospheres. The best of the best offer both a list of wines worth sipping and small bites or meals worth splurging on.

Café Divino

Old Town Tacoma is hard to beat for cute atmosphere, and its resident wine bar doesn't disappoint. Here you will find wines from all over the world, but mostly regional varietals. It's the menu at Café Divino that just might surprise you. For such a small place, the menu is large, including everything from baked brie with pears to a hot pastrami sandwich. Plates start at about $10 and go up from there. Café Divino is just a block up from the waterfront, too, if you fancy a stroll after you wine and dine.
[11:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday-Thursday, 11:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. Friday, noon to 11 p.m. Saturday, 2112 N 30th St., Tacoma, 253.779.4226]

Cork! A Wine Bar

This wine bar has contended in the Best of Western Washington (placing fourth). While you may not find a huge wine list, you will find some specials, like 50 percent off flat breads on Mondays, free wine tasting on Thursdays, and all-night happy hour on Fridays. On Saturdays, there is live music.
[2-10 p.m. Monday-Thursday, 2 p.m. to midnight Friday-Saturday, 606 N. State St., Tacoma, 253.212.1492]

Enoteca

We adore Enoteca wine bar. It's an ideal place to linger with old friends. Bill Bonnie opened this wine-and-cheese treasure in January 2006, next to his Tacoma Wine Merchants store. Enoteca is a tiny, intimate joint. Be careful walking into this long, narrow space - the door barely misses the best table in the house.  Low lighting has the effect of making the snug room feel even smaller. Enoteca offers grilled paninis, sandwiches, fresh salads, cheese, fruit and meat plates, soups and dessert. The three-ounce samples of three cheeses mixed with house herbed olives, pickles, grapes and bread runs $12 or $7.50 for a half order. If Taleggio cheese is on the cheese board, buy it. Smoked salmon plate ($8), brushetta with tomato and goat cheese ($6), walnut and pear salad ($8), and muffaletta sandwich ($8) are winners, too.
[11:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesday-Friday, 11:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturday, 21 Tacoma Ave. N., Tacoma, 253.779.8258]

Pour at Four

Pour at Four is surprisingly affordable. The menu includes tapas and appetizers that start under $10 - and entrees don't go much above that price point. Better yet, there are cheese samplings here to go with the wine list, which has glasses starting at $5. And even better, if you are not a huge wine fan, Pour at Four has a beer list starting at $3!
[2-10 p.m. Monday, 2-11 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday, 3814 N. 26th St., Tacoma, 253.761.8015]

STINK: Cheese and meat

For those wondering how a wine bar, a deli and a restaurant will fit in the one space Kris Blondin and partner Jack Noble secured in downtown Tacoma, it's simple ... it won't. "STINK is not a bar, it's an elevated deli. Not a restaurant, not even your typical deli, we're taking it farther than that," says Blondin (who, full disclosure, has contributed to the Weekly Volcano in the past). STINK - Cheese & Meat has seating for around two dozen people. It featurse an industrial-style deli with old-world cured meats and gourmet, handmade cheeses you just can't get at the grocery store. The menu of "eclectic comfort food," as Blondin refers to it, includes lunch and light dinner fare, and conversation-inspiring beer and wine selections.
[11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., Friday-Saturday, 628 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.426.1347]

Swing Wine Bar & Café

For ambiance, it's hard to beat Swing in Olympia. It's located in a cute bungalow perched above Capital Lake. The wine list includes a balance of local choices with international ones, and the menu is large with a definite ritzy air to it. Entrees can be ordered as small plates, which is a nice touch. Wednesdays bring live music, and Tuesdays have half-price wine.
[4-10 p.m. Monday-Thursday, 4-11:59 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 825 Columbia St. SW, Olympia, 360.357.9464]

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

TUESDAY, JAN. 3, 2012 >>>

1. It's Tuesday, which means The Grand Cinema fires up the popcorn and threads another awesome indie film as part of its Tuesday Film Series. Hitting the screen at 1:30, 3:45 and 6 p.m. will be Director Andrew Haigh's Weekend, starring Tom Cullen and Chris New who have a one-night stand that becomes something more. Roger Ebert says it's"a smart, sensitive, perceptive film, with actors well suited to the dialogue. It underlines the difficulty of making connections outside our individual boxes of time and space."

2. When the folks behind the Franciscan Polar Plaza ice-skating rink arrived to melt the ice and call the downtown attraction a success, kids cried violently, throwing themselves on the ice. What do you do? Extend the run is what you do. Extended through Jan. 8, and running from 4-10 p.m. today, the Franciscan Polar Plaza will be alive with glee.

3. Trio De Vibe will fill the Mandolin Café in Tacoma with swanky jazz beginning at 6 p.m.

4. Spanish is one of the most widely spoken languages in the world. This makes it cool, because you can see all of the different ways it adapted as it spread around the world. Spaniards pronounce c's as a "th." Argentineans say a "y" sound using a "juh." In Costa Rica, the word for cool can be "duanes" or "pura vida," while in southern Spain, it's "guay." So why should you care? Because Tango Puget Sound will kick-off a month long of Tuesday Tango lessons beginning at 7 p.m. inside the South Bay Grange and it would be extra cool if you could whisper "cool" in a cool language into someone's ear.

5. You've read about Geeks Who Drink Quiz Night with Quizmaster Holland Hume. Have you seen the glorious, boozy game show yet? It starts at 8 p.m. inside Paddy Coyne's Irish Pub. It ends with you passed out in your bedroom clutching your game card.

BONUS: Tacoma author Mariss Meyer unveils the Cinder series

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Nightlife It List

LINK: This week's freebies

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Mount Rainier Ranger Killer: Dead. (News Tribune)

East Tacoma Murder Suspect: Dead. (News Tribune)

Darth Vader: Dead. (ESPN)

Pierce County Councilman Tim Farrell: Eyeing the dead Russell Investments building. (News Tribune)

Iran Puffs Up Chest: Tehran said last week it had photographed a U.S. carrier patrolling the area where Iran was holding military drills. The country doesn't think that's cool. (CNN)

Afghanistan's Taliban: They have "an initial understanding" to set up an office overseas, possibly in Qatar - a move some see as key to future peace talks. (BBC)

E.N.G.A.G.E.D.: Aretha Franklin. (People)

Portlandia Stars: Why we tease the cool kids. (Salon)

The Price Is Right: Snoop Dogg hosted it. (Idolator)

Too Much Free Time

MID-SEASON ANNOUNCEMENT >>>

After "They actually pay you for writing this?" and "How can one writing team be so handsome?", the question most asked of Spew is, "Are there any new shows coming our way?"

Why, yes there is. The Broadway Center reminds us it added six shows to its current season. Let's take a look:

Sweet & Spicy: A Valentine's Day Burlesque     
Tuesday, Feb. 14, 7:30 p.m., Theatre on the Square and Studio II
Tickets: $40 - 21+ only

Broadway Center says: A decadent dessert buffet, wine, music and dancing!  Then for the show, see two of the Northwest's best burlesque troupes - Gritty City Sirens and Tush!

Peter Frampton: Frampton Comes Alive! 35 Tour    
Friday, March 23, 7:30 p.m., Pantages Theater
Tickets: $59-$119
Broadway Center says: This epic show features a complete performance of Frampton Comes Alive! with other highlights from his Grammy award-winning instrumental album, Fingerprints.

Annie, Jr.                                                               
Saturday, March 31, 1 and 5 p.m., Theatre on the Square
Tickets: $16.50
Broadway Center says: Local students, age 6-18, have been cast for the Winter Musical session and will work for three months honing their skills to present this lovely musical about never giving up hope.

Spring Dance Extravaganza
Friday, April 20 and Saturday, April 21 7:30 p.m., Sunday, April 22 3 p.m., Theatre on the Square
Tickets: $24
Broadway Center says: Three top South Sound choreographers present original and dynamic dance that spans traditional and contemporary styles in a remarkable showcase.

The Best of Seattle International Comedy Competition
Saturday, April 21, 7:30 p.m., Pantages Theater
Tickets: $29-$42
Broadway Center says: Featuring past winners and finalists of Seattle International Comedy Competition - guaranteed laughs!

On Stage Together: An Acoustic Evening with Mary Chapin Carpenter & Shawn Colvin
Saturday, May 12, 7:30 p.m., Pantages Theater
Tickets: $39-$66
Broadway Center Says: Longtime friends come together for a special evening of music and song.  Sharing the stage in an intimate evening of storyt3elling and music, their exquisite voices and expert guitar styling blend together in perfect harmony.

For ticket information, click here.

A TOUCH OF FRANCE ON ITS WAY >>>

Their women are loose. They don't bathe. Their cooking is the best in the world.

These and other choice stereotypes about the French have been flying about for a long time, carried to a level of absurdity when the French government challenged the American line in the Middle East.

But it's hard to argue that the French can seriously cook. Generations of French have labored not only to collect knowledge about all things culinary, but also to sanctify it and put it in words - intricately detailing the best way to create a dish, as well as the second, third and fourth best way to create it. In regards to Americans, many French believe we would still be eating canned corn, sliced ham topped with pineapple rings and Hostess fruit pies seven days a week without their influence (hello Saint Julia).

Whatever.

I love French cuisine - mother sauces, truffles, escargot and dishes done en croûte. I especially love anything with lardoons. And to a point, I agree that the French invasion of the American culinary scene was advantageous to all concerned. I also love lunching at a Parisian bistro, soaking in the food, culture and people for several hours at a time - as the French do.

Ah, to curl up with an afternoon book, listen to hot club jazz and dip a spoon into a French onion soup (toward the back end of the cup - natch) while ripping into a baguette and sipping anything out of Chateauneuf-du-Pape.

In these here parts, that's a dream unfulfilled. (Though I have had many a wonderful meal at La Crème Brulee in Steilacoom. And there's a rumor it will open for lunch soon. Mais non ...)

I'm thrilled to report a French-style bistro will open in the Proctor District in the next couple weeks. Chef William and Shannon Mueller, the talent behind Dinner Solutions and Babblin' Babs Bistro, tell the Volcano they plan to convert their formal dining space in the back of Babs into a Parisian-style bistro called Secret. Barely large enough to seat the French Olympic volleyball team's starting lineup - at separate tables - Secret will pack plenty of joie de vivre. Sink into the comfy leather couch, sip a café crème and daydreaming of Paris and Jean-Luc.

The Muellers will serve classic French food, leaning toward the peasant side. While the final menu is still be tested on friends, you probably will enjoy a glazed Cognac pate ($9), Escargot Provence ($12), French cheeses, French onion soup ($8), exotic mushroom crepe ($10 and delicious), ratatouille with sun-dried tomato crepes ($10), rooted vegetables cassoulet ($10), pork cutlet with Vermouth cream sauce (412) and Steak Wellington Goes Naked ($20) - all prepared as if the dishes were meant to hang at the Musée du Louvre.

The coffee will be prepared as they do along the Seine. The wine will be imported from the many regions of France.

And the Muellers say they'll wrap it all in a stress-free, cozy, soothing environment.

"Americans need to slow down," says Chef William. "It takes 25 minutes to cook real food. People should expect to enjoy a 40-minute experience. They need to pull their fingers of the keyboard and have a conversation."

He's not joking. Electronic gadgets will not be tolerated at Secret.

"We're drawing the shades and swirling low-volume jazz in the room, which will be for adults only. I want people to unwind and enjoy our French food," says Chef William. "You want be able to find this environment to sip coffee anywhere in town."

The small room has several two-person high-top tables, an antique chair, a comfy leather chair and two-person couch. Scenes of France hang on the walls. The lighting is low. And the sliding door seals off the din from adjacent Babblin' Babs Bistro.

The Muellers have priced the food below what they should considering what they're paying to import the French treasures. Grab a friend, a bottle and share a pumpkin bread pudding with caramel apple sauce ($8), trio of mousse ($9) or an assorted cookie plate ($4) and catch up.

Secret will be open Tuesday through Friday for early and late lunch. The Muellers, apparently, want to ease into it ... like the French.

[Secret, opening soon, lunch Tuesday-Friday, 2724 N. proctor St., Tacoma, reservations only, 253.761.9099]