ART
Forty Part Motet
Canadian artist Janet Cardiff's Forty Part Motet combines sound, movement and environment in her work. The TAM visitor will proactively move through the space activating sounds and unfolding narratives. Forty Part Motet is a 40-track audio installation that allows listeners to experience sound from the viewpoint of a choir, physically involving them in a piece of music by the 16th-century English composer Thomas Tallis. â€" Suzy Stump
[Tacoma Art Museum, through Sept. 7, $6.50-$7.50, 1701 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.4258]

FILM
Kenny
The 2006 film Kenny brings to the surface a subject we normally cringe at: poop and pee. Its eponymous hero installs and cleans public waste receptacles for a living. Almost two hours of excrement â€" sounds like the perfect vehicle for Adam Sandler’s juvenile brand of comedy, right? â€" Kenny actually hails from Australia. Already having garnered multiple awards and won fans Down Under, Kenny smartly avoids the easy raunchiness of its premise, instead painting an enjoyable and sympathetic picture of a man â€" and occupation â€" that society ignores. Read full review here. â€" Christopher Wood
[The Grand Cinema, 2:30, 4:45, 7:05 and 9:10 p.m., $4.50-$8, 606 Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.593.4474]

LECTURE
Healthy Washington Coalition
Temple Beth El will host the Healthy Washington Coalition tonight. The public is invited to speak up about what affordable, quality health care might look like to them. Healthy Washington Coalition is one of the largest health care reform organizations in state history, comprising labor unions, business organizations, business leaders, health care providers, hospitals, consumer groups and public interest groups. Coalition participants share one common goal, according their Web site â€" to achieve secure, quality, affordable healthcare for all Washingtonians. â€" John Herbert
[Temple Beth El, 6:30-8:30 p.m., open to public, 5975 S. 12th St., Tacoma, www.healthywacoalition.org]

LINK: The Diamond Experience and others in the clubs tonight.
LINK: Check out when the movie starts here.
LINK: Let’s eat in a bistro today.

DANIEL BLUE: MEET JUST JOHNNY, JUST MARRIED >>>

Johnny wants to be known as "Just Johnny, Just Married." OK, so you shall be known.

I run into my fellow scientist every now and again, our symbol of love for each other has become the turning of invisible knobs and dials. It is the symbol of science. We planned to be in a band and wear lab coats, but Johnny is a busy, busy boy.

"I have $300 worth of expensive colognes in my medicine cabinet, I don't wear any of them," he says when I asked him about his current projects. "I'm in a five, four, six, uh - a lot of bands."

What are they called, Johnny?

"The Siph, Homoriphic, Johnny Cheezeburger and the Cum Bunnies, The Brown Boys and Locals Only."

So you practice like five nights a week.

"No, Johnny Cheezeburger is my main squeeze, the Siph and Homorific are second, and The Brown Boys and Locals Only are like whenever."

Cool. JJJM was born in Solina, Kan., July 12, 1984.

"My cat has two thumbs on each paw!" he explains, followed by, "My wife is a Lesbian but she is straight for me."

Congratulations Umeko, you are the envy of every girl in town.

They tattooed red and blue DNA strands on their ring fingers for each other. Awesome.

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

THE DAILY WORD

condign \kuhn-DINE; KON-dine\, adjective:
Suitable to the fault or crime; deserved; adequate.

USAGE EXAMPLE: As condign punishment for his actions, Mrs. Tiki forced Bobble Tiki to sit through the entire marathon of America’s Next Top Model. Never had Bobble Tiki been sorrier. 

MORNING NEWS

TACOMA: Fiscal new year

OLYMPIA: Lehman resigns from school board

SEATTLE: No more mega homes

UNITED STATES: Help save Iraq

ENVIRONMENT: Makah whalers sentenced

JUST BIZARRE: 200 person fight over cigarettes

MORE STRANGE NEWS:Madonna and A Rod

THINGS TO DO TODAY
FILM LISTINGS: Look here
MUSIC LISTINGS: Here’s what’s happening
SHOOT THE SHIT: Weekly Volcano forums

JAMIE CHASE: THEY'RE HERE, WHERE ARE YOU? >>>

The arrival of the first Tall Ship, right now.

I snapped these from my deck.

GUSTY GAIL: WELCOME FIRST TALL YACHT >>>

A young, hot, sweaty crew member of the Kaisei held my hand as I boarded the it from the rope ladder (even before Customs!). It’s the first Tall Ship to port in Tacoma and I’m the first American to board.  The young crew reminded me of every pornographic college dream I’d ever had. And ladies they want to meet you. They were so eager to let me on board, my brown and white polka-dot dress blowing in the wind revealing my slip that they forgot customs hadn’t cleared them yet. I was breaking the law and it felt HOT!

Given this monumental opportunity, I went gonzo on the Kaisei crew. What do they think of Tacoma and their jobs as sexy sailors?

“I want to die on one of the tall ships not this F-ing yacht,” says crew hand Jimmy McMannis. Here’s hoping calling it like he sees it doesn’t get him a walk on the plank.

Otis Downs from San Francisco is my favorite sailor and he has the right attitude about work, “Work is for the drinking class.” I’m wetting my lips with red gloss now betting I’ll see Otis at the Dock Street Landing. I just hope he doesn’t eat the food. I had the worst case of diarrhea last week from their Tacos. I think it was food poisoning. It burned my butt.

Jenny Condell from Ireland, a righteous chick and only woman I met was delirious with delight at the opportunity to share girl gossip. She was quick to confide, “Otis and I have been up for 25 hours and we don’t even know our names anymore.” The pirate in me wonders what they were doing all night, as I decide to take my ass off the boat before customs threw me in the slammer.

Welcome to Tacoma Kaisei. We’re ready to party with yea until you drop and we’ll make sure your crew doesn’t drop until the USCG Eagle has yet to arrive. It’s the big mother of the Tall Ships, not some pussy ass yacht.

GUSTY GAIL: DR. WOLFDOG >>>

Sometimes things are so outta whack you just ask yourself, WTF? 

The WTF of the Tall Ship Gonzo Pre-Game Show is Dr. Wolfdog with Chase Construction and oddities seller of Universal Life liquid-something. He was curiously preoccupied with selling one Volcano staffer bio-anti-aging serum, while leading the crew building the power crossover on the dock to ensure pedestrians don’t get electrocuted during the Tall Ship Tacoma 2008. Me thinks he and Solar Richard would make interesting BFFs.

GUSTY GAIL: IT’S GAS, GAS, GAS >>>

The crew of the Kaisei, customs officials and Tall Ships Tacoma organizers were silent about the mysterious gasoline containers on the docks LABELED “Tall Ships.”

Let’s get real here. We’ve caught them red handed. The stinking boats are gas powered and there is no denying it, even with their fancy talking points and media center.

We will get an official on record about this scandal before it’s all said and done.

Would they even call it Tall Ships without the sails? And clearly those sails are just for show. What a hoax.

STEPH DEROSA: LET'S GET SOMETHING STARTED >>>

Perched upon the porcelain pedestal in Marlene's Market and Deli's restroom, thoughts of peace and serenity begin to fill my mind. No, it's not because I'm taking a huge poo, as some of you readers seem to believe this is the premise to all Toilet Tales. With a busy life and many obligations, a chance to be alone and reflect in silence is a moment that is few and far between. And really, if you must know, I very rarely poo in public loos. (Although Home Depot seems to always stir something up in the bowels of my husband whenever we go shopping for home fixtures.)

The feeling of peace and serenity I mentioned comes from the overall feeling of doing the best thing for my family by buying and feeding them whole and organic foods. Yes, my grocery bill tends to be higher than the typical Safeway run, but I justify this by thinking there is no price you can put on living a healthy life. Simply put, there are certain foods we do prefer to buy there. For example, you can't find a closer or better selection of sprouting seeds than at Marlene's.

Sometimes doing the best thing to me also involves supporting the community. Not only am I talking about supporting the local businesses, but I'm also talking about the Big VÃ: VOLUNTEERING. While reviewing my thoughts about this subject as I rest in Marlene's public potty, I remember the struggles I've been through in my own career of volunteerism.

I joined the Junior League of Tacoma way back in the day with hopes of making new friends, having a social outlet, and volunteering in the community. While my experience with this organization gave me a plethora of knowledge that I will always be grateful for, it was also the lifelong friendships I developed that bring a tear to my eye as I reminisce. The two things I loved most about the Junior League, hands-on volunteer work and having a social outlet, are two of the biggest things besides my friends and family that can bring me a sense of peace and serenity in life.

After leaving the Junior League, I took on the endeavor of starting the Tacoma Beer Society for a friend who was a Pittsburgh Beer Society transplant. I was going to get it started and give it one year before I handed it off. I worked damn hard, and developed that thing from the ground up. We established hundreds of members and held monthly tastings. My time was eventually done, and I handed it off to my co-founder in April 2008. Nothing has been touched since. It crushes me to see e-mails gone unanswered, and to see a Web site I worked so hard for and put so much time into simply crumble and die. No one has made an ounce of effort since my departure, and I try daily not to blame myself, as I did do everything I could within that year.

Well, guess what? I'm yearning again for another social outlet. I don't want to be a part of another board-heavy, overanalyzed, over-managed nonprofit. I also don't want to be a part of an organization I am setting up for someone else. This time it's going to be for ME.

With support from the Weekly Volcano, I'm going to start a volunteer and social organization that will hopefully also fit the needs of some of you out there. It's in the beginning stages, but here are the specifics:

No money needed. No dues, no membership no nonprofit status, no board of directors.

One night (or day) a month is social time. We talk, meet new people and chill out. It's during this time we also pick that month's project.

Another separate day of the month is the day we go out and complete our chosen project. It's a hands-on, one day, come as you are for as long as you like and even bring the whole family day of volunteerism. (This could be anything from donating time to a food bank, to cleaning up a park, to painting someone's house.)

Come all the time or don't come but once a season. Like I said, there is no roster and this is very low-commitment. I want this to be simple and run by the needs of the community. That community includes YOU.

First, social will be in early August. Time and place TBD¬" your input is needed!

Further discussion can be done so in the Volcano Forums. Or e-mail me.

LINK: Toilet Tales archive