LAUREN NAPIER: BECAUSE THAT'S ITS NAME >>>

Love You Long Time â€" admit that you chuckled â€" is bouncing into Tacoma for an all-ages show Tuesday at the Viaduct.  With a history of playing parties and house shows in the metropolis of Los Angeles, Love You Long Time brings the party to any venue they happen to grace with their presence.  With a self-described sound of “fresh, crazy, and poppin’,” according to the band’s leader, MC Oz, Love You Long Time is a combination of pop-rock and rap hooks that can hold their own with other genre-blending artists like Gym Class Heroes. With heavy ’80s influences, this band’s nostalgic beats are a welcome burst of déjà-vu. They are coming to bring their spandex and eye-shocking neon colors to the stage. And if you mention that you read this preview, MC Oz says he will “do a freestyle rap about you to your face!”  There’s no way you can resist that.

[Viaduct, 7 p.m., all ages, 5412 S Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.472.1948]

Photo courtesy of Myspace

SUZY STUMP: VANILLA SOUL IS THE SLAM ANCHOR >>>

I always thought art operated on its own isolated, lonely schedule: get depressed, self-mutilate, see self in mirror, paint feverishly in garret. The public only gets to see the work post conception â€" posthumously. Vanilla Soul belies the twin notions of the sacred, secret creative process and the wait for a random stroke of inspiration: "I will be your slam anchor as we take spoken word into the realm of journalistic entertainment in the spirit of the Daily Show," claims Soul.

His Thursday's Slam Report grand opening premiere will feature:

Will it be Tacoma's new Moment of Zen?

[Stephanie's, Thursday, Oct. 30, 7-9 p.m., no cover, 932 Pacific Ave., Tacoma]

SUZY STUMP: ARTISTS' WISDOM FORUM >>>

Cooperation, collectivity, camaraderie â€" these are not words that would usually be associated with artists working in the same town and competing for the same business. Yet it is precisely these ideas that come up over and over when speaking with Tacoma artists.

Four of Tacoma's most prominent artists â€" Lynn Di Nino, Jennevieve Schlemmer, Stan Shaw and Becky Frehse â€" will be the guest panelists at an Artists' Wisdom Forum Nov. 18 at Tacoma Art Place. The panel will discuss milestones in their careers, how they achieved them and the state of art in Tacoma.

The hour-and-a-half forum begins at 7 p.m.

To attend, RSVP here.

STEPH DEROSA: MY TWO CENTS >>>

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.  King 5's Best of Western Washington winners were announced.  Here's what I have to say about that:  Congrats to the winners! You absolutely deserve it, and to the businesses who did not win: Who cares?  You rock in my world.  That's really all that should matter, right?  Humor me.

After spending almost an hour going through pages and pages of local nominees for Best of Western Washington, I eventually had to stop due to cramping in the frontal bultidreshia lobe of my brain.  That's the part of the brain that detects utterly pointless bullshit.

Here are the establishments who scored the popular online web votes in order to collect the ultimate title of "WINNER".  Can't say I disagree with these winners, they are all some of my favorite places in Tacoma:

Savi Day Spa, Mad Hat Tea Company and Celebrity Cake Studios.  McCabe's was the winner for Best Dance Club (with only 10 reviews), while McCabe's bartender Candy W. won for "Best Bartender in Seattle".  Dang, now we're considered "Seattle"  Or are the bartenders just that shitty up north that they have to include Tacoma's in order to have something that's "the best"?

Get this: Seahawks won for "Best Sports Team" (yawn), while the Sea Gals lost out to winner of "Best Cheer Squad" to youth organization Liberty Bell Cheerleading Squad. See now?  I'm almost positive the Sea Gals are better cheerleaders, but I'll be damned if that little cheer squad didn't rally up their friends to vote online.  For that, I suppose they deserve that illustrious Best of Western Washington title.

Fife High School won for "Best School Spirit".  That is something that surely deserves to win.  Voting for your school definitely proves you have spirit.  YAY Fife Hi!

Sanford and Son is now considered by King 5 as "Best Museum in Seattle" and Fort Nisqually Living History Museum as "Best Museum in Seattle".  Again with the "Seattle" thing:  Isn't this the "Best of Western Washington"?  Or are we now considering anything west of Snoqualmie Pass "Seattle"?  Grrrr.

Now onto the "TOP 5" local winners:

Tempest Lounge, Doyle's Public House, The Rock, Paddy Coyne's, Quickie Too, Grand Cinema, Varsity Grill, Indochine, Infinate Soups, Handful of Luvin', Beyond the Bridge Café, The Mix, Pacific Grill, and Asado.  Personally I think all of those are the "best of" one thing or another.

Over 50 local business (that I'm familiar with) were nominated but did not win.  I'm not thinking of the obscene quantity of dentists, photographers, event planners, and auto shops that were listed, I'm thinking of retail and dining for the most part:

Goodfella- Amazing steaks, hands down.
Hess Bakery- Authentic German Bakery galore.
Pour at Four- Wonderful small plates, extensive wine knowledge.
Embellish- C'mon now.  They rock.
Rosewood Cafè- Family friendly, personable, neighborhood-oriented, and yummy.
Crown Bar- Have you ever had their Caesar Salad?
Corina Bakery- Dessert Bars.  Try one.
South Sound Running-" Wouldn't buy my running shoes anywhere else.
Galanga Thai Cuisine- Fresh and authentic.
Monsoon Room- Cozy and warm.  Plus they have a great bar.
Babblin Babs- Organic, local, top-of-the-line cuisine.
Maxwell's- YUM.
Satellite Coffee- Seriously?  Should've won.
Clover Leaf- Thin crust Americanized pizza pie at it's best.
Parkway Tavern- Extensively diverse beer selection.
Red Hot- Whatever with not winning.  They are the best of everything, no doubt.
Puget Sound Pizza- Speechless.  I love Puget Sound Pizza.
Sea Grill- Awesome lunches, big windows overlooking Pacific Ave, great service.
Bikram Yoga- If you've never been, you should go.
Posh Home- Her eclectic, tasteful selection changes every time I go in.  I love it.
The Swiss- Bands, parties, drinks, and bartenders- all of them tasty.

Thankfully this year's Best of Western Washington is over.  Everybody is a winner in my book.  It may be a little black book filled with coffee stains and lipstick smudges, but it's my book and I'm proud of everyone in it.

Like I said, I had to stop after an hour of repetitive scrolling so if I missed anyone - I apologize.  Oh, and there are no links in this blog for you to click on.  It's obvious there were way too many to hook up.  Instead, I say to you:

STEPH DEROSA: MMM MMM GOOD >>>

Foodies, wine-o’s, and restaurant owners alike gathered last night at The Harmon Hub Gallery to help launch this area’s newest blogging venture: South Sound Eats.  Past Vin Grotto Café and Wine Bar owner, Kris Blondin, and Tacoma News Tribune’s ex-food critic, Ed Murietta, have joined delicacy superpowers in order to take over the food-world as they know it.  How well do they know it?  They know it well, my friends, very well.

South Sound Eats, a blog about pretty much anything you can put in your mouth (get your mind out of the gutter), plans on birthing itself unto the Internet sometime mid-November.  This baby was the brainchild of Ed Murietta after deciding to venture into other entities besides “working for The Man.”  In South Sound Eats he gathers his fans and favorites from the old TNT blog, Ed’s Diner, to create a who’s who of critics and blogging beasts.

What was once known as “Ed’s Diner” on the TNT blog will be known as “Ed’s Table” on the new SSE blog.  Kris Blondin will host a wine blog appropriately titled “Vin Grotto”.  Beer will be discussed on a blog called “Knuckles on Tap”, and “Twin Tastes” will be of interest to those who adore homecooking and cooking contests.  Why is it called “Twin Tastes”?  It’s called “Twin Tastes” because two beautiful twin sisters will be in charge of it, duh!  “Cheese Blog Collective” will be written by every member of the team, and a new guest chef will grace the Internet every month in the suitably titled “Guest Chef Blog”.  Ok, maybe they haven’t named it “Guest Chef Blog” yet, but that’s what I’m going with for now.  It just makes sense.

South Sound Eats will also host dining guides, shopping tips, recipes, and give warm fuzzy hugs to any place you can buy food. We look forward to seeing this website flourish, and here’s to yet another medium in which we can embrace what the South Puget Sound has to offer.

Here are some blurry ass photos I took of last night's action.

STEPH DEROSA: THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS >>>

As I stretched my legs aboard Continental flight 667 bound for Seatac Airport, I meandered into a cramped airplane lavatory last Sunday.  While inside I reminisced upon what events had transpired that weekend, and how my behavior had affected regretful consequences.

Apparently I'm still that person.  I'm still the person you see on poorly made B-movies about college kids getting wasted and doing stupid things.  Yeah, I know, shocker. The only difference is I'm not in college anymore.

Want to know how bad it got? Check it out here.

STEPH DEROSA: CHEF'S NIGHT OUT >>>

I’d be surprised if Pierce College’s Puyallup Campus didn’t catch on fire this Saturday, Nov. 1. Not because there will be more than 10 chefs cooking in their kitchen, but because there will be an extraordinary explosion of more than 10 extremely talented, local celebrity chefs cooking in their kitchen AND one of my favorite musical artists James Coates performing for the chef’s guests.

You simply can’t beat an evening like Chef’s Night Out, which benefits and is coordinated through the Puyallup/Sumner Chamber of Commerce, and presented by Good Samaritan Hospital.   This extraordinary fund-raiser provides you with a chance to savor old favorite cuisines, explore new dishes, relish in the beautiful sounds of James Coates, and help out your community.  Each participating chef will create their own menu and prepare a meal for a table with 10 guests.

Show up to Chef’s Night Out with a date and you might leave with a new friend.  Seats among the tables of 10 are randomly assigned, throwing you into a perfect opportunity to meet someone new.

[Pierce College Puyallup Campus, Saturday, Nov. 1, 6-9 p.m., 1601 39th Ave. S.E., Puyallup, 253.845.6755]

MATT DRISCOLL: ASHTRAY WILL SMOKE HELL'S KITCHEN TONIGHT >>>

Hell bent on debauchery, Santa Rosa California’s Ashtray (the band) will hit town this Wednesday as part of their “Blackened Lungs and Nicotine Dreams Tour.” Has ever there been a better name for a tour? I think not. Bringing to mind seminal punk bands from yesteryear like the Ramones and the Clash, not to mention wafts of Joan Jett in her prime thanks to the Ashtray singer Sarah Jane’s commanding stage presence and take-no-shit attitude, when Ashtray unleashes their fervor at Hell’s Kitchen â€" even on a Wednesday  - the results should measure favorably on the Richter scale of rock.

[Hell’s Kitchen, 9 p.m., $3, 3829 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.759.6003]

Photo courtesy of Myspace