MICHAEL SWAN: HAPPY HOUR DISCUSSION TOPIC >>>

Well crap. My plans to be famous just went poof. My girlfriend will be happy. She wasn’t digging my righteous railroad setup.

LINK: South Sound happy hours

SUZY STUMP: WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT SO SCHLONG? >>>

Showing skin. The birthday suit. Buck nekkid. Au naturel. It all might make for good art, but it also matters what you call it. Naked and nude, for instance, derive from different roots â€" the German nakt and the French nu, respectively. The first suggests an embarrassing or dirty lack of clothing; the second signifies the intentional bare all pose. One is lewd, the other noble. If it still sounds like splitting hairs, head to the Tacoma Erotic Art Show June 12-13 at The Robert Daniel Gallery, and decide what is lewd or noble.

Besides art on the walls, expect a screening of the fetishes documentary Why Do We Hide?, live performance by The Little Red Studio and, oh hell, nudity, people, nudity.

[The Robert Daniel Gallery, Friday, June 12-Saturday, June 13, 9 p.m., 18+, bar with ID, $10 (includes one drink), 2501 S. Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.227.1407]

MICHAEL SWAN: THIS IS HOW WE DO IT >>>

"Maybe we could just head over to the Tempest Lounge and try to overhear conversations," yawns my publisher and sometime cruise director, Pappi, from across the room and overflowing without ideas. “Have you tried their Journalist drink? Seagrams Gin, sweet vermouth, dry vermouth, fresh squeezed lemon juice, triple sec and a dash of bitters. It's a classic dating back to the 1930s. It's tasty.”

And off we go.

[Tempest Lounge, 913 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.272.4904]

JAKE DE PAUL: SATURDAY FOOD LINKS >>>

Taste it: a ton of South Sound wine tastings today

New Lunch Service: Asado begins next week.

Greek Taverna: Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church in Tacoma offers appetizers, entrees, desserts, beer and wine beginning at 11 a.m.

Cheese Man: make Dustin Hoffman’s macaroni and cheese

Octopus: an ingredient worth trying

Today’s South Sound Special

Wilcox Farms, will host a free omelet feed and tours of its farm today from 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

The Wilcox Family Farm is a 1,760-acre farm located just outside the town of Roy and home to over 800,000 laying hens, several hundred thousand pullets (young chickens), a shell egg processing plant and a liquid egg processing plant. The farm was started by Judson and Elizabeth Wilcox in 1909 and features a restored one-room school house, antique farm machinery and a car museum, and a free range organic poultry house.

The first free guided bus tour begins at 10 a.m. and the last tour starts at 3 p.m.

[Wilcox Family Farms, Saturday, May 30, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., 40400 Harts Lake Valley Road, Roy]

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

MICHAEL SWAN: GOOD MORNING SOUTH SOUND >>>

1. Grammy-nominated saxophonist Joshua Redman will be the featured performer at the 2009 Pierce College Jazz Band Expo at 7 p.m. at the Rialto Theater.

2. The Artists’ Garage Sale sponsored by the Olympia Arts Commission will offer art books, mats, frames, brushes, Match Box Car parking garage with Cheerleader Barbie’s megaphone, paint, jewelry and more from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the National Guard Armory in Olympia.

3. The Raccoon Collective, a group of Olympia musicians and artists, has organized yet another Westside Arts Walk night of free art showings and live music for the benefit of the local DIY community â€" adapting Olympia’s downtown Arts Walk to fit a crunchier, more politically-minded crowd, stemming largely from The Evergreen State College from 6-10 p.m.

4. The Tacoma Little Theatre celebrates the 50th anniversary of "the day the music died..." when they stage Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story tonight at 8 p.m.

5. The Tempest Lounge makes an exemplary effort to bring a solid, reliable, cool, fun, unpretentious night â€" "Temptation" â€" for girls who like girls, boys who like boys and everyone in between with resident DJ LA Kendall with DJ Broam and MC Adraboo in the house 9 p.m.

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: Local movie starting times

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

LAUREN NAPIER: BRIGHTWOOD HEADLINES AN ALL-AGES SHOW >>>

Club Impact at Brick City has not stopped or lost momentum during its transformation to Version 2.0 â€" and is hosting the next GOYA (Get Off Your Ashes) benefit inside the venue’s walls tonight. All-ages fans can expect the pleasant and eclectic melodies of several bands such as:  Wake the Giant â€" formed by friends earlier this year, He is We â€" who creates dreamy sounds with a female vocalist, and Sight Vs. Sound â€" formed from the remnants of This Providence and Elite Stranger. Headlining tonight’s show is Brightwood â€" the band, not the snowboarding town atop the mountains of Oregon.

For the record, GOYA is a series of shows created by Derek Smith at Club Impact that involves Christian bands and heightening awareness of social issues. Read the full story here.

[Club Impact, GOYA Benefit, featuring Brightwood, City in the Sea, Wake the Giant, Sight vs Sound, He is We, free, Saturday, May 30, 7 p.m., no cover, 754 Pacific Avenue, Tacoma, 253.274.1583]

MATT DRISCOLL: EGG PLANT PLAYS THE NEW FRONTIER TONIGHT >>>

Portland’s Egg Plant, led by former Tacoman Luke Short, has plenty of qualities worth discussing. Like sarsaparilla for a dusty throated cowboy, Egg Plant combines sleepy pedal steel ambiance with Magical Mystery Tour fun and a dose of pop sensibility. Throw in Short’s unique vocal delivery and knack for lyrical wit â€" and, well, you’ve got a band brimming with potential. Read the full story here.

[The New Frontier, Egg Plant, with Trevor Dickson, Boy and Bean, Saturday, May 30, 9 p.m., $5, 301 E. 25th St., Tacoma, 253.572.4020

MARK THOMAS DEMING: THE PINK SNOWFLAKES LAND AT THE JIVE >>>

Trip mushrooms and go to Bob’s Java Jive sometime. Walk into the coffee pot. Take a long hard look at that hamburger lamp on the bar. Stand under those hobbit-like ceilings and order a Coors from Gandalf. Play Tetris. Pee in a trough. Have a conversation with a dead antelope.

Wait, bad idea.

Get weird on Portland psych studs The Pink Snowflakes instead. Their extravagant, surreal, super-loud act will blow your mind almost as ably as the funny fungus. More than just another ’60s rehash, The Pink Snowflakes combine hippie-era acid rock with modern pop and sludge.

No telling what they’ll pull at the Jive, but past Snowflakes shows have included bubble machines, black lights and unicorns. I’m thinking Smurfs. Huh, remember the Smurfs, dude? Dude. Dude? Whoa.

[Bob’s Java Jive, with Nudity and Branden Daniel & Everybody Gets Laid, Saturday, May 30, 8 p.m., $5, 2102 S. Tacoma Way, Tacoma, 253.475.9843]

STEVE DUNKELBERGER: WHERE'S MY BABY BLUE TUX? >>>

I can respect the concept behind the Weekly Volcano's policy of not writing about cover bands just on the practical matter of managing the volume of music makers in the South Sound.

But all rules have exceptions.

Kryboys is just such a case.

While house and cover bands have a reputation of just filling out bar music schedules since they draw small crowds with their versions of songs written by others. Such is not the case with these boys. They stage shows Thursdays at Jazzbones, Saturdays at the Swiss and a ping pong slate of gigs at venues from Auburn to Enumclaw each week. The house seems to fill each time.

The draw is simple. Their late-1980s to modern playlist draws the 20 to 30 something skirt set as they channel about their high school and college years and dress accordingly.

That draws the 20-to-30 dude set.

The house fills by the simple multiplying factor of testosterone that is further fueled by the high-energy style of the band.

I caught their set last night at Jazzbones. Worthy. Here are a few photos.

Tonight, the Kryboys are at the Crystal Saloon in Enumclaw.