MICHAEL SWAN: FRIDAY, JULY 31, 2009 >>>

1. Artists from around the Puget Sound will don their armor, arm themselves with tools of creation rather than destruction, and put on their most viscous looking face paint before descending on the Tacoma Art Museum and Tollefson Plaza to battle in the Iron Artist Competition in celebration of Metal-Urge. More details can be found here.

2. UP Fest 2009 opens at 5 p.m. with vendors, entertainment, Kids Zone, and the annual "Hogs vs. Hosers" Charity Softball and Vicci Martinez at 7:30 p.m. in Cirque Park.

3. The Viaduct hosts an all-ages benefit show for itself with Striking The Nations, Zero Year, Swing Low, Wake The Fallen and Winston Smith at 7 p.m.

4. Angry Housewives continues its rebel yell at the Lakewood Playhouse with an 8 p.m.

5. Junkyard Jane is back at Jazzbones with an 8 p.m. blues show.

LINK: Live music and DJs in the South Sound

LINK: Local movie starting times

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

PAUL SCHRAG: ARTIFAKT TONIGHT >>>

It’s time for another Artifakt show at the Robert Daniel Gallery. This round is an audio-visual extravaganza featuring a pile of DJs, painters, stencil artists and graffiti artists, blended into a swirling mass.

On deck with gifts for your eyes are Jeremy Gregory, Grym, Joseph Brooks, Wakuda, Shanna Trumbly, Desiree Flerchinger, and Joeski.

On the decks will be DJ Flave (Housewreckin/USC), Darwin (Out for Stardom), Grym (Onset), Suga Jones (Pacific Fusion/South Sound Collective), and Flat Black (Pacific Fusion/South Sound Collective).

[Robert Daniel Gallery, Friday, July 31, 8 p.m., $5-$8, 2501 S. Fawcett Ave., Tacoma, 253.227.1407]

PHOTO: Breaking The Chain by Desiree Flerchinger

MATT DRISCOLL: ALL-AGES SHOW AT THE CAPITOL THEATER BACKSTAGE >>>

Let’s be honest â€" as Americans we have a little experience with the idea of occupations. Been there, done that. Several times.

But as for The Occupation â€" the band of indie rockers from Seattle that’ll be playing the Capitol Theater Backstage tonight â€" most of us are probably clueless. That’s the thing about relatively new bands â€" they take a while to connect with the masses.

Tonight’s Oly show should help such endeavors, as the band born out of “friendship, love, laughter, and unashamed anthemic rock,” according to promotional material, will no doubt unleash a title wave of catchy, melodic pop rock on an almost exclusively all-ages crowd. If there’s one thing kids like, after all, it’s anthem style, catchy, melodic pop rock.

That and popsicles.

And Toaster Strudels.

But that’s beside the point. Expect The Occupation to play plenty of material from the band’s new E.P., Sweet Falcon, as well as songs slated for a forthcoming debut full length.

[Capitol Theater Backstage, with The Midnight Therapy, Save It For Saturday, Friday, July 31, 8:30pm, $7, 206 Fifth Ave SE, Olympia, 360.754.6670]

NEWS TEAM: GOOD MORNING SOUTH SOUND >>>

Ah the 80s: Sunny and beautiful as a giant diamond licked by nubile virgin cheerleaders drunk on bourbon and lip balm.

All Hell Breaking Loose: Two fires; Lakewood officer’s cars vandalized; Tacoma police officer shoots man in house; Dog cannot find home because he is too ugly.

Middle East: Bombs outside mosques in Baghdad kill at Least 29.

One Bad Apple: Look who resembles what Microsoft was 10 years ago.

Good News?: Recession eases; GDP dip smaller than expected

Slow News Day.

RON SWARNER: GREEN LINKS OF THE DAY >>>

Snapped: frustration at 26th and Pearl Street in Tacoma.

Critical Mass: It's tonight in T-town!

Fancy Bikes: Eight designer bicycles for two-wheeling fashionistas.

By the way ...

Cash For Clunkers NOT FAIL: Cash for clunkers gets another $2 billion.

Global warming as new religion?: Give The Vancouver Sun a break â€" climate change is serious.

MICHAEL SWAN: THIS JUST IN >>>

The Holistic Moms Network pulled this one out and sent it to us:

For more information on the Holistic Moms Network Tacoma Chapter, visit their Web site here.

MATT DRISCOLL: WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR THEM ALL >>>

As the hip and with-it cat you are, I’m sure you’ve already checked out the Weekly Volcano’s Best of Tacoma 2009 issue. It hit the streets yesterday, and â€" pretty much â€" it’s like the coolest reading material ever. Or at least I think it is. I suppose you can be the judge of that.

In our zeal to unearth and shine a spotlight on all that kicks ass in Tacoma, we did our best to leave no stone unturned. However, this exhaustive process resulted in a surplus of 2009 Best of Tacoma Weekly Volcano writers’ picks. There simply wasn’t enough room to get them all in the paper, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to let them die.

Thanks to the endless space of the Internet, they live on below.

Enjoy.

Best Bar For Conversation
The Crown Bar
The Crown Bar is constantly alive with the comfortable buzz of talking and laughter. Bartender Dino holds court over the bar seats â€" discussing San Francisco, opera, science â€" the dude knows things. In the dining space, two, four and six tops are full of hands up in the air, clinking glasses and pounding fists.  That said, it’s still the ideal place to talk with old friends or strike up conversations with new ones. The local art on the wall and windows with a generous view of Sixth Avenue are great conversation starters. And there’s always a table by the fire if you’d like to talk about more … uh, intimate things with a “friend” over beer or dinner, which is served late. â€" Jake de Paul
[The Crown Bar, 2705 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.4177]

Best Hot Dog And Beer
The Red Hot
What’s left to say about The Red Hot (that we don’t say every freakin’ day on this blog)? The best spot for the biggest variety of ultimate mystery meat presentations â€" damn straight. The best place to drink pitchers of unheard of beer on a boring Sunday afternoon. Not a question for debate. The best place to watch the game and get clipped by a piercing â€" true dat. Everyone knows all of this. If you want to be an urban legend, you’ll have to visit The Red Hot. Because if you haven’t been, you’re nobody. Well, nobody special, anyway. â€" JDP
[The Red Hot, 2914 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.779.0229]

Best Coffee
Satellite Coffee
This year’s Best of Tacoma issue is bittersweet â€" for, amidst the celebration of all the good things Tacoma has to offer, we can’t help but be forced to remember the good things Tacoma lost over the last year. The Helm. Little Holland. And, of course, Black Water Café â€" which was pretty much thee place to get coffee for Tacoma’s emerging hip â€" and those just looking for a really satisfying cup of Joe. But don’t cry for me Argentinean coffee farmers getting raped by greedy, international coffee conglomerates, luckily in Tacoma there’s still Satellite Coffee. Whether above Supernova in its original, tiny, Stadium District outpost (that now has a deck, yo!), or now at Masa, Satellite’s shot pulling experts whip Portland’s Stumptown beans into pure coffee heaven. Seriously. If you haven’t experienced it yet you don’t know what you’re missing. â€" Matt Driscoll
[Satellite Coffee, 817 Division Ave., Tacoma, 253.428.8288]
[Satellite Coffee at Masa, 2811 Sixth Ave., Tacoma]

Best Bacon
Pacific Grill
Bacon, sweet bacon â€" the smoky, salty, fatty pork meat that makes my world go round. It's the centerpiece of breakfast, the stuffing for my lunchtime sandwich, the base of my dinner's soup and subsequently, the reason this baby has got so much so-called back. Pacific Grill’s lip-smacking Nueske's apple-smoked pig strips are the best. Another one of my favorites, the always crispy bacon at The Spar in Old Town, nipped at Pacific Grill’s tender heels â€" but came up just short. Puget Sound Pizza scored well, too. I smell a bacon crawl! â€" Suzy Stump
[Pacific Grill, 1502 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.722.1490]

Best Head Shop
The Green Room
We all know Tacoma is full of glass artists â€" but we may not fully realize just how full of glass artists Tacoma is until we delve into the world of hand blown pipes â€" for tobacco, of course. Tacoma may be relatively small, but the selection of smoking accessories we produce is staggering. If you’re looking for the best, reasonably priced selection of said glass smoking accessories, or vaporizers or double bubble bongs the size of Muggsy Bogues â€" for tobacco, of course â€" check out the Green Room on Sixth Avenue. There’s a reason we’ve named it Best Head Shop two years running â€" and it’s not just because the store has become like my own personal Cheers. That’s only part of the reason. â€" MD
[The Green Room, 6413 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.566.6436]

HARRY POTTER: YOU SUCK! >>>

I can’t believe you forgot my birthday. After all I’ve done for you. The long hours, the late nights, the worries, the fighting, all for nothing. No cards, no presents, no cakes, no strippers. Nothing.

Oh, sure â€" you made my creator a trillionaire.  Big whoop. But what about me? 

I can’t find a birthday for me in the South Sound. Seriously.

Borders? King's Books? Anyone?

We could play pin the Tree Air Freshener on Hagrid.   I could show you my abs. I won’t let those kids from Graham convince you to walk through the wall.

Is there a party for me? Little help here?

JAKE DE PAUL: WENDY'S II ON A HOT DAY >>>

When it comes to trendy specialty refreshments, Taiwanese tapioca bubbles â€" or boba, or pearls, or ball balls, or bubble tea, depending on your vendor â€" are the new black. Literally. These glistening onyx-colored spheres, made from chewy tapioca starch and piled two inches thick at the bottom of fruit milkshakes or iced milk teas, are the ideal treat after baking in the sun.

During Wednesday’s heat wave, the customers at Wendy’s II Vietnamese Restaurant were literally lined up inside the joint â€" which hides in a stripmall along Tacoma Mall Boulevard â€" licking their lips in anticipation of the sweet, refreshing drink.

Even when Wendy’s II pink upholstered seats and pink tabletops are full, the staff tries not to keep the bubble tea customers waiting long for one of 19 flavors, including lychee, taro, red bean, papaya, durim, avocado and honey dew.

"Hi, what you need?" chirped the manager, loading the blender with one hand and noshing a late lunch of shrimp fried rice with the other, which for some reason did really bother me. I guess I was focusing on her phrasing: Customers don't line up like this for some frivolous luxury. What she's selling is necessary.

I chose strawberry with tapioca on the bottom, of course. Absolutely delicious, this pink treat refreshed and startled. I knew the balls were below my centimeter-wide straw waiting to shoot into my mouth â€" but it startled me every time they did.

Wendy’s II bona fide bubble drinks run $3.50 for both the milkshake and milk tea versions. 

[Wendy’s II Vietnamese Restaurant, 5015 Tacoma Mall Blvd., Tacoma, 253.471.0228]