The Weekly Volcano and Spew would like to wish you a Happy Turkey Day! We hope you and a few others huddle around what little warmth there is in a increasingly cold and uncaring universe, sipping, supping, and supporting one another - because there is nothing else worth doing.

Love each other.

Then go find some karaoke.

THURSDAY, NOV. 24, 2011 >>>

1. Wake up Grandpa Joe, grab yourself an Everlasting Gobstopper, and burp your way over to The Acme Grub Cage for DJ Aaron Mack's "Thanksgiving Escape Plan," beginning at 8 p.m. He invites everyone over for a night of music and drinking - cover free. Mack is even willing to spin your music.

2. Fantasy Lights will, once again, open its drive-through holiday lights display Thanksgiving night. The two and a quarter mile long parade of lit-up scenery has its own peculiar sense of majesty, and it goes without saying that it's the perfect treat for a family to soak up the holiday spirit. The lights pop on at Spanaway County Park at 5:30 p.m.

3. The Parkway Tavern in Tacoma will host a winter beer extravaganza beginning at 5 p.m. Be prepared to drink: Jolly Roger 2010, Schooner Exact Hoppy the Woodsman 2009 and 2010, Avery The Beast, Lost Abbey Angel's Share, Russian River Temptation, Sierra/Dogfish Life and Limb 2, 21st Amendment Hop Crisis, Avery duganA, Bear Republic Racer X, Boneyard Femme Fatale, Russian River Pliny the Elder, Southern Tier Crème Brûlée, Southern Tier Pumking (bottles) and Stone Double Bastard.

4. Emerald Queen Casino hosts something called Thanksgiving Asia Fest featuring Dan Truong, Truong Vu, Nguyen Khang and Ho Le Thu beginning at 6 p.m. 

5. Westgate Bar and Grill Tacoma - Northend. Tacoma's guitar legend Jerry Miller and his band will rock the Westgate Bar and Grill beginning at 9 p.m.

LINK: Go see a movie

FRIDAY, NOV. 25, 2011 >>>

1. How do you escape the pressures of the holidays, like, really quick? Bundle up, drop your packages in the trunk, pinch your cheeks until they glow and strap on a pair of silver skates, Hans Brinker, for a glide across the frozen expanse at Tollefson Plaza. The Franciscan Polar Plaza, located on the corner of Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street, opens today at 10 a.m. and runs until 10 p.m. The covered outdoor rink is about half the size of a hockey rink. It will have real ice and hold about 150 skaters at a time. Oh, if you need a tree, grab one at the neighboring Two Five Trees.

2. Jim Oliver, an amazing a still life photographer, will open the Oliver Gallery Saturday at 8443 S. 19th St. in Tacoma. But he can't help poking fun at Black Friday. He'll hold a soft opening today from noon to 6 p.m. under the title, "Black Friday Shopping Sanity Restoration Station and Pre-Opening Invitation to The Oliver Gallery." For a sneak peek, click here.

3. Although the holidays are a time for joy and light, we will spend hours trying, unsuccessfully, to string lights around the Weekly Volcano World Headquarters. Our fingers will grow raw and numbed as family members shout orders through a bullhorn.  This is Dante's second circle of Hell.  And you'll drive by the WH, point and laugh. Don't risk driving by after our third eggnog - head to ZooLights at the Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. Billed as the Northwest's premier light display, ZooLights includes animated light sculptures as well as ice-skating puffins, a preying eagle, tiger cubs, the Narrows Bridges and the massive flame tree. It opens for the season at 5 p.m.

4. There are those among us who can make their trip to a hair stylist the most riveting story you've heard all week. People whose stories never trail off into "it was really cool. ..." Envy them. They are not like you. Not only do they have great success at parties, they have a future with the South Sound Story Guild. See what all the storytelling fuss is about at Tellabration 2011, a national storytelling event sponsored by said guild.  If you can stand a 10-minute hairdo story, just imagine how riveted you'll be by something with an actual plot.  Drop by Traditions Café at 7 p.m. and hear a story or two.

5. After spending yesterday with the family, you could use a laugh. Thankfully, Tacoma has several comedy clubs. Brad Upton will be at the Tacoma Comedy Club Tacoma at 8 and 10:30 pm., Duane Goad hits the Comedy Underground at 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. and Ty Barnett plays the Grit City Comedy Club at 8:30 and 10:30 p.m.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Live music tonight

LINK: This week's freebies

DO YOU KNOW YOUR TACOMA HISTORY ... AND LOVE FOOD? >>

Foodcaching is a new smart phone app alerting customers of awesome food deals at 16 restaurants in the greater Tacoma area. You may download the app for free on your iPhone and Android here.

The Weekly Volcano has teamed up with Foodcaching for the True Tacoman game. Every Tuesday and Friday right here on Spew, we post a Tacoma history trivia provided by the Washington State History Museum. If you know the answer, run to one of the 16 participating restaurants, come clean with answer and you'll receive points on your Foodcaching app, which you downloaded free here. We'll be running the True Tacoman trivia game through the end of the year.

The person will the most points on Dec. 31 will be crowned the True Tacoman and be flooded with various food prizes.

Tuesday's True Tacoman trivia answer

Tuesday, we posted the question: Beginning in the 1840s and moving foward in time, the citizens of the United States who arrived in the Pacific Northwest were known to the Native Americans as what? You spent the last three days telling the restaurants listed below that is was "Bostons" and, thereby, scoring points on the Foodcaching app. It was an easy task, even for Bostons. 

Today is Friday, which means we post another trivia question as part of the True Tacoman contest.

Today's True Tacoman trivia question

True or false: Picnic Island was an early name for Eagle Island - which sat between Anderson and McNeil islands - because Tacomans loved to picnic on it?

Answer the question correctly at one of the 16 participating restaurants below and score points - besides scoring awesome food deals from the restaurants. The correct answer will be revealed Tuesday, Nov. 29 on Spew. Also keep an eye on this blog for bonus game points and a special invite to the True Tacoman Game Party in early 2012.

Oh, you can download the free app here.

Participating restaurants

• 1022 South, 1022 South J St., Tacoma, 253.627.8588, Facebook
• Capers Cafe & Take Home, 2602 N. Proctor St., Tacoma, 253.761.4444, Facebook
• Dirty Oscar's Annex, 2309 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.0588, Facebook
• Dorky's Arcade, 754 Pacfic Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.4156, Facebook
• Harmon Brewery & Eatery, 1938 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.383.2739, Facebook
• Harmon Tap Room, 204 Saint Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.212.2725, Facebook
• The Hub, 203 Tacoma Ave. S., Tacoma, 253.683.4606, Facebook
• Jake's Bar & Bistro, 215 Wilkes St., Steilacoom, 253.581.3300, Website
• Massimo Italian Bar & Grill, 4020 Bridgeport Way W., University Place, 253.503.1902, Facebook
• Marrow Kitchen & Bar, 2717 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.267.5299, Facebook
• Over The Moon Cafe, 709 Court C/Opera Alley, Tacoma, 253.284.3722, Facebook
• Pacific Grill, 1502 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.627.3535, Facebook
• The Social Bar & Grill, 1715 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.301.3835, Facebook
• STINK Cheese & Meat, 628 St. Helens Ave., Tacoma, 253.426.1347, Facebook
• Top of Tacoma Bar & Cafe, 3529 McKinley Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.1502, Facebook
• TWOKOI Japanese Restaurant, 1552 Commerce St., Tacoma, 253.274.8999, Facebook

WHAT WE HAVE FOUND TODAY >>>

Holiday Events And Gifts: All in one glorious spot. (Weekly Volcano)

Grinches: They're stealing copper wire in Tacoma. (News Tribune)

Shift Your Shopping: Go Local Tacoma joins the national campaign. (Weekly Volcano)

Kamal Ganzouri Is Back: The former prime minister under President Hosni Mubarak was given his old job back today. (CNN)

Ewww: The eight germiest spots in a mall. (CNN)

Thank Gawd: Someone else read the Kardashian's novel so we don't have to. (FourFour)

We Love The Bendy Straw: An awesome article about the invention of the Bendy Straw. (The Atlantic)

Prank Of The Day: An oldie but goodie. (BroBible)

LIKE: Fanwagon Facebook car by Volkswagen. (Design Boom)

The World's Largest Thing Of The Day: Gummy Bear. (The Daily What)

THE LOWDOWN ON WHAT'S UP THIS WEEKEND >>>

WEATHER REPORT

Friday: Mostly cloudy, hi 44, lo 38

Saturday: Rain, hi 50, lo 43

Sunday: Rain, hi 50, lo 36

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 25-MONDAY, JAN. 2: FRANCISCAN POLAR PLAZA

How do you escape the pressures of the holidays, like, really quickly? Bundle up, drop your packages in the trunk, pinch your cheeks until they glow and strap on a pair of silver skates, Hans Brinker, for a glide across the frozen expanse at Tollefson Plaza. The Franciscan Polar Plaza, located on the corner of Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street. The covered outdoor rink is about half the size of a hockey rink. It will have real ice and hold about 150 skaters at a time. Oh, if you need a tree, grab one at the neighboring Two Five Trees.

• Tollefson Plaza, opening day Nov. 25 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., through Jan. 2, 4-10 p.m. Monday-Friday, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday, $8, $1 off active duty military and family, $2 skate rental, Pacific Avenue and South 17th Street, Tacoma, website]

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 25: ZOOLIGHTS

You're sick and tired of driving through the neighborhood looking at the homes of people who think they deserve an award for their light displays. You deserve to take a night to go see ZooLights. Billed as the region's biggest walk-through light show, ZooLights includes animated light sculptures, live entertainment, snacks, animal encounters, and the Paul Titus Carousel. While enjoying your stroll with a cup of hot chocolate, be thankful you're not in charge of this holiday light display.

• Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, through Jan. 1, 5-9 p.m., $7-$8.25, 5400 N. Pearl St., Tacoma, 253.591.5337  

>>> FRIDAY, NOV. 25: LELAVISION

Remember when you used to dress your dolls up and make them act out scenes from Footloose? There they were all lined up on the bed, and G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu grip was causing trouble and Barbie was fighting with Cabbage Patch while their passive-aggressive little stuffed animal children hid their eyes. Yep, you've always been strange. But the point of this is you're still a fan of physical agility and humor. Seattle's Lelavision - the troupe that combines Cirque de Soleil and Stomp, and then adds its own unique vision for a humorous, musical, theatrical and dance performance unlike any other - returns to the Museum of Glass. Catch their "Physical Music" with a Cabbage Patch in your pocket. Freak.

• Museum of Glass, 1 and 3 p.m., $5-$12, 1801 Dock St., Tacoma, 253.396.1768]

>>> SATURDAY, NOV. 26: CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG

You love the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, right? You dressed as the Child Catcher a few years ago for Halloween. Remember? The waitress at Knapp's used to have nightmares about the Child Catcher when she was a kid, and when she saw you in the costume - she freaked. Anyway, you loved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and you saw it once a year. That was it. Once a year. Nowadays if you like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you buy the DVD, you have it. But not on the big screen. That is, until Saturday. The Broadway Center will screen the flick for you to enjoy. Afterward, the Ghost of Christmas Present will hover as the lights on the Christmas tree outside the Pantages flick on. There will be much rejoicing over hot cocoa and cider, too.

• Pantages Theater, 2 p.m. film, 4:30 p.m. holiday stuff, 6 p.m. tree lighting, $14 film, 901 Broadway, Tacoma, 253.591.5894]

>>> SATURDAY, NOV. 26: GRITTY CITY CRAFT FAIR

If you are looking for a more soulful, local shopping experience after Thanksgiving, may we suggest the Gritty City Gift Fair in downtown Tacoma. Jada-Moon Gridley has created an environment void of frantic zombified credit-carded bodies fighting over pallets of heavily-discounted Vitamix 5200 Ultramax Packages. With community in mind, and live music to soothe, Gridley has hand picked local vendors offering treasures made from green and reclaimed materials, as well as artisan consumables.

• 906 Broadway, Saturday, Nov. 26, 3-9 p.m., free admission, Tacoma, Facebook]

>>> WHAT SOME OF OUR STAFF MEMBERS ARE UP TO 

ALEC CLAYTON Visual Arts Critic
No shopping on Black Friday, but I'll top off the day by going to see Harlequin Productions' Stardust Serenade. Saturday I'm going to check out Lisa Kinoshita's show at Fulcrum.

NIKKI TALOTTA Features Writer
Turkey for the girls and Turkey for the boys / My favorite kind of pants
Are corduroys / Gobble gobble goo and Gobble gobble gickel / I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel / Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving everybody! 

JOANN VARNELL: Theater Critic
After stuffing myself silly and counting all the ways I'm thankful, I
will be attending a bridge lighting in Sumner on Friday, the Broadway
Center tree lighting on Saturday, Peter Pan at Tacoma Musical
Playhouse on Saturday night and HOPEFULLY nothing on Sunday. 

STEVE DUNKELBERGER Meat Market Photographer
Going to Peter Pan at Tacoma Musical Playhouse and Oliver at Lakewood Playhouse. In between, I'll be hitting Netflix like it owes me money.

REV. ADAM MCKINNEY Music Critic
As a matter of fact, I have pretty big plans this weekend, and they all revolve around Friday and Saturday at The New Frontier Lounge. Those days are dedicated to the first fundraisers for the 3rd "Annual" Squeak and Squawk Music Festival, and they feature such ginormous acts as Derek Kelley and the Speedwobbles, I Will Keep Your Ghost, and the return of Paris Spleen, among other great acts. Please come down and show your support, get drunk and dance, and help make Squeak and Squawk the awesome festival we know it'll be.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: The weekend's freebies

LIVE MUSIC TONIGHT IN THE SOUTH SOUND >>>

C.I. Shenanigans Tacoma - Northend. KC Brakes band. 7-10. NC.

Dawson's Bar and Grill Tacoma - South. Borderline. 9 pm.

Hell's Kitchen Tacoma - Downtown. Man Without Wax, True Holland, Absence Of Grace, Moon Juice. All Ages. 6 pm. $5-$7.

• In a manner similar to fellow bombastic locals Roman Holiday, Man Without Wax sounds perfectly radio-ready, a band just lying around, waiting for someone to discover them and throw them on the modern rock station. They've captured the sound of bands like Kings of Leon and even groups from the Glasgow scene (Frightened Rabbit, Glasvegas) - bands that revel in drama, and never shy from shooting for the rafters. These are songs meant to be sung along to, passionately, by crowds of strangers. Man Without Wax approach the tropes of arena-rock with supreme confidence, playing those chiming guitars and dropping the bottom out of the chorus with aplomb and a certain sense that they've discovered new countries of sound. That this is well-trod ground makes it no less effective. - Rev. Adam McKinney

Jazzbones Tacoma - Sixth Avenue. Blues Brothers. 6 pm. $10.

Mandolin Cafe Tacoma - Central. Gina Belliveau. All Ages. 6 pm. Nick Deonigi. All Ages. 8 pm. NC.

The New Frontier Lounge Tacoma - Dome District. Benefit For Squeak & Squawk, with Derek Kelley & The Speedwobbles, Humble Cub, Tallest Tree. 9 pm. $7.

• "I guess, if we were stars, you'd call it an all-star band, but I don't know if we are," laughs Derek Kelley. Even though Kelley's being modest in his assessment of the Speedwobbles, that's about as close to an apt description of the band as you'll find. Not only is it fronted by Kelley, who found success with his earlier band, Wallpaper, but the rest of the seven-member group features performers from the Vells, the Brite Futures (formerly Natalie Portman's Shaved Head), Abraham and the New Faces. It's a sort of local super-group, an assembly of preternaturally talented and charismatic musicians who have successful projects in their own rights. The document that has been produced by this group - the Speedwobbles' debut LP, Bourgeoisie Marmalade - is representative of this kind of talent. To read the full feature, click here. — Rev. AM

Red Lion Hotel Olympia - Westside. The Russ Hubley Trio. 8 pm. NC.

The Red Room Tacoma - Downtown. Hear The Sirens, Strike To Survive. All Ages. 6:30 pm. $5.

The Spar Olympia. Billy D. 8 pm. NC.

Stonegate Pizza Tacoma. Jerry Miller Jam. 9 pm.

Uncle Thurm's Finger Licken Ribs & Chicken  Tacoma. G Street Jazz Series. Reservations recommended. 8-11 pm. NC.

LINK: More live music tonight in the South Sound

SATURDAY, NOV. 26, 2011 >>>

1. Every time a snowboard movie arrives at a snowboard shop, wrenches hit the concrete, open signs are flipped over and couches are pushed together.  Tonight, Northwest Snowboards takes that mindset a notch higher with a night of snowboard and skateboard flicks - including TB20 and Absinthe's Twel2ve - on the Capitol Theater screen beginning at 7 p.m.  

2. Is it us or is the shopping local movement gaining tremendous speed. Now we have Small Business Saturday. The national campaign encourages shoppers to favor the locally owned businesses that are often the soul of their communities. Of course all area small businesses are down for this today, including A Rhapsody In Bloom Florist & Cafe Latte on Sixth Avenue. Besides offering new merchandise and sale pricess, the small business will shell out complimentary 8-oz. eggnog, mocha or vanilla lattes and hot ciders. Nice.

3. Wine Bank and Beer Vault celebrates its sixth anniversary with a wine tasting and special sale pricing from 2-4:30 p.m.

4. The Weekly Volcano applauds those responsible for the Bicycle Booze Cruz for further synthesizing these two activities: exercise and drinking. This particular cruise called Turkicanus Bicyclette will launch from Magoo's Annex at 7 p.m. - rain or shine – in honor of one of our more subtly bizarre holidays, Thanksgiving. Riders are encouraged to dress up however they see fit, as they bike from bar to bar, all over Tacoma. Of course, biking and drinking aren't quite a match made in heaven, so ride at your own risk.

5. Throughout the month of November brave men have been attempting to eradicate cancer by growing mustaches (thus raising awareness, which is fatal to cancer). The movement is called Movember. Stonegate Pizza on South Tacoma Way is down, hosting a mustache party tonight, which will benefit friends Tiffany and Jimmy with medical expenses to fight cancer. Admission is $5 suggested donation AND a mustache - real or fake (prizes will be awarded. That means you too ladies. Ture Holland and Brandon Morgan will rock the joint. And there's a raffle, too.

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: Happy hours!

ADD A TWIST TO YOUR SATURDAY >>>

Just in time to counter the Republican debates, it's the story depicting the hardships of a young boy in the underrepresented working class (we couldn't resist). Based on one of Dickens' most popular works, Lionel Bart's OLIVER! is the timeless tale of social oppression and government upheaval.

Please sir, can I have some more?

Warning: Production contains moments that might frighten small children, mock gunfire, acts of violence, use of non-harmful chemical smoke, lightning effects and pickpockets.  

[Lakewood Playhouse, through Dec. 23, 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday, $22-$28, 5729 Lakewood Towne Center Blvd. SW, 253.588.0042]

SUNDAY, NOV. 27, 2011 >>>

1. The mere sight of Portland blues guitarist Robbie Laws on stage generates a jolt of energy, whether he's fronting a band or jamming alone on his electric guitar. Smiling, always smiling, he creates a sound that's sensual and strong, delicate and precise, technically impeccable and emotionally pure. A lot of people play blues music, but not many play it as distinctively as Laws does. Laws has been honored with 21 Portland Cascade Blues Association Muddy Awards, nine of which were for "Best Electric Guitarist." Catch him at 7 p.m. at The Spar in Old Town Tacoma.

2. Olympia's Downtown for the Holidays is a day filled with fun and entertainment, from noon to 4:30 p.m. Most activities are centered in and about Sylvester Park, which will include free horse-drawn wagon rides with Mrs. Claus, a holiday parade (3 p.m.), and a tree-lighting ceremony.

3. "Young people have such fresh ideas and so few very public venues in which to share their work," says Tacoma Poet Laureate Josie Emmons Turner. In an effort to help remedy this, Turner has set up a day for young poetry and prose writers to share their work at King's Books. The 90-minute open-mic event starts at 2 p.m., but those interested in participating in the reading should sign up starting at 1:30 p.m. Writers are encouraged to select material that showcases their best work, so be advised that you're expected to bring it.

4. The Museum of Glass exhibition of collaborative work by John Miller and a dozen or so friends is cute and well crafted. Some of the pieces - all giant goblets - are beautiful, most are inventive, and a lot of them are funny. The exhibit, Gathering: John Miller and Friends, combines traditional glass art with a wide variety of art genres such as Pop Art and Color Field painting and Surrealism. MOG is open from noon to 5 p.m.

5. Xibalba, Alpha & Omega, Cowardice and Wreck play an all-ages show at The Red Room in downtown Tacoma.

PLUS: ZooLights and Franciscan Polar Plaza in our Weekend Hustle

LINK: More arts and entertainment events in the South Sound

LINK: 2011 South Sound Holiday Happenings