SCENE OF THE CRIME By Natasha
The Unicorn will round out my tipsy series on partying in T-Town's neighborhood bars (go to www.weeklyvolanospew.com to see the previous coverage of the Parkway and Hank's).
I'm not always the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to navigating through Tacoma. The stupid streets change names - I hate that. Whenever I go to the Unicorn, I have to call 411 to connect with the bartender because I get lost every time. The Unicorn is deep within the trenches of residential north Tacoma at 5302 N. 49th St. A smart person would Mapquest it before going. Maybe I'll turn into one of those people someday.
Once you arrive, if the weather's nice, you should grab a table on the cozy patio. It's a great spot for admiring the establishment's view of Commencement Bay and sipping on your beverage of choice underneath the umbrellas, while getting hit on by drunk cavalier mortgage brokers.
Inside, as far as I'm concerned, there's just one thing you should pay attention to: the jukebox. I often set up competitions in my head over who has the best jukebox in town between the Unicorn and Magoo's. A clear winner never seems to surface. Check it out for yourself and let me know what you think.
Other people like to pay attention to the pool tables; there are three. The Unicorn is always busy, but you rarely have to wait for your quarters to come up. That's cool.
There's also a room in the back of the bar that has a stage. My friends and I like to dance on the stage for no good reason at all.
Buyer beware: The Unicorn is a vortex. Each time I've gone there, I've convinced myself that I was only going to have a couple of drinks, but I always wind up getting faded instead. The Unicorn started serving hard alcohol about four years ago, and I've been partaking for the last three. It's just easier for me to blame it on the Unicorn instead of myself.
The crowd is an interesting mix - a hodgepodge of fleece wearers, straight up ghetto, and locals who have been drinking there since the '80s. Most everyone there has the very same interest, though: kickin' back and having fun.
The smoking ban (thank you, Washington voters!) has done wonders for the 'Corn. Previously it felt like the smoke film left on your skin was like a suit of armor.
But best of all, if you're tired of the bustle of your regular hot spot, grab some homies and go relax at the Unicorn. Most Tacomans have, and this is one of those rare occasions where you should actually do what everyone else is doing.
Word is bond.
Unicorn, 5302 N. 49th St., Ruston, (253) 752-5939

Tell me where you like to party at Scene of the Crime.