While most people are pulling their menu items together for the perfect Thanksgiving dinner or conjuring their Christmas wish list, my thoughts are usually far from such cliché conventions.

Being the tenured town drunk that I am, I’d rather spend my time figuring out where the scene of the crime will be for holiday boozing.

Some people think I’m crazy in doing so. They think I should have more of an emphasis on family (even though my family consists of one person locally), but to me, holidays are just like any other day â€" and they’re usually a great excuse for libations.

The day before Thanksgiving is HUGE for partying. Everyone is home for the holiday, and most are looking to get their swerve on, especially since the only thing they have to do is watch football and tryptophan out.

This year the place to be was the Parkway. OMG, I’ve never seen so many people there. They were hosting a Winter Beer Fest, and people were waiting in line three layers deep to get in on the action. It seemed like kegs were blowing every half hour, and the entire bar cheered with the advent of each. Phew, that was fun. Luckily, I got to avoid the crowd and hang at a table in the back with Lovely Linda and everyone’s favorite Parkway couple, Matt and Sarah.

Following, I continued down I Street for the other holiday hotspot: Magoo’s. This establishment is absolutely off the chain during the holidays. Last year on Christmas the place was shut down a little early because they were so over maximum capacity. Now that’s alotta holiday cheer. On this pre-Thanksgiving warm-up the usual suspects in Troy and Curtis were sitting next to me at the bar and people continued to pour in all night.

When it came to Thanksgiving proper, my plan was to hit Doyle’s, then Magoo’s for late night fun. I never actually made it to Magoo’s. It was Danny the bartender’s birthday, Russ was bartending, the blue-eyed bachelor Moony had been consuming since noon, and Intel Jeff and Awesome Andrew and the Dearest Damon were there. We were sitting at a table that Moony had placed right in the middle of the joint. There’s nothing like a holiday with hot guys.

Russ was kind enough to let me plug in my iPod and I rocked several playlists, the highlight of which was two hours and a half hours of '80s hits. Everyone requested a volume crank during “Come on Eileen.”

I also sneaked in some cheesy “Livin’ in the '90s” stuff, and of course, Danny did the centipede on the concrete all the way down the bar.

Now when it comes to Christmas, I’m sure I’ll be splitting my time between the three aforementioned establishments.

Deck the halls, bitches! â€" Natasha