When I was a sophomore in high school, time in gym class was devoted to such sports as bowling, foosball, and roller skating.  Junior year, though, roller skating was eliminated from the curriculum due to the amount of injuries sustained the previous year.  As my introduction to the world of roller derby proved to be far less painful and much more entertaining, it will hopefully sustain its run for a greater length of time.

The second bout of the season for Tacoma’s Dockyard Derby Dames roller derby league started strongly for me last night with the thrill of partaking in a new activity, in this case supplemented by driving to Parkland and standing in the lime green Skate N Station roller skating rink.  Things continued to go well even as I entered the dizzying heights of abject confusion.  I’ll freely admit to spending most of the first half in a bewildered daze as I watched fishnet clad temptresses merrily zip around an oval track.  Despite a helpful demonstration of rules at the beginning of the match (few things would prove to be funnier than watching a 35-year-old man blatantly shove a 14-year-old girl to the ground in order to demonstrate an illegal foul), I was in far over my head when it came to following the intricacies of fouls and scoring.  This didn’t seem to be a sport of finesse, and the beer garden’s deal of unlimited drinks for a modest $10 only strengthened my convictions.

By the end of the night I could tell the difference between a Pivot and a Jammer, and the Trampires and Femme Fiannas had been declared the official winners.  But as the Dames, officials, spectators and I all headed to Doyle’s Public House to celebrate, I couldn’t help but feel that we were all truly winners at heart. â€" Will Pearson