STEPH DEROSA: SANFORD & SON SAVED SCRAPPY >>>

I had heard a cat has nine lives but that there was one in Tacoma who had 15. Figuring this cat had to be some sort of alley cat, I lurked behind dumpsters and stalked all the teriyaki joints. I asked some local seagulls who then referred me to the gang of black crows who run the streets of downtown Tacoma. Chris Robinson was not available for questioning, but I did find Scrappy, the animal I was looking for, at www.myspace.com/sanfordandsonantiques">Sanford & Son Antiques.

STEPH DEROSA: I’ve heard you’ve been through a lot, can you elaborate?

SCRAPPY: There was a huge storm last year, and I needed to get out of the streets. Plus I had heard the crows were coming out with a new album, so I ran. I crept through a hole in the wall of this place, and was in exile for about three weeks. I found a mixture of fish food and rat poison, which I lived on until Cheryl and Alan found me.

DEROSA: What’s your greatest claim to fame?

SCRAPPY: I can poop in a toilet. No joke.

DEROSA: You seem pretty tough. Have you ever played any sports?

SCRAPPY: The raccoons in Gig Harbor let me play on their rugby team back in the late ’90s. I broke my leg in a game against Lakewood, and it’s never healed.

DEROSA: Some say football is a gentleman's game played by thugs, and rugby is a game for thugs played by gentlemen. Do you agree?

SCRAPPY: I’m a thug on the outside, gentleman on the inside. So yeah, I guess I do.

DEROSA: Ever been on “Biggest Loser”?

SCRAPPY: I weighed 6 pounds when I first arrived here at Sanford & Son. I now weigh 18 pounds. I would recommend a diet of fish food and rat poison for quick weight loss.

DEROSA: Where’s your favorite sleeping spot?

SCRAPPY: Amongst books in front glass cabinet. Away from people who smell like dogs and Brad Allen.

DEROSA: Oh boy. I hear ya on that one.