SUZY STUMP: HAPPY EASTER >>>

On this Easter morning, consider the Peep.

I flipped past the typical Easter movies last night before landing on the mediocre Crusoe.  As I watched Aidan Quinn eat a salamander I pondered The Last Temptation of Christ and Passion of the Christ â€" and the omission in those movies of the most important Easter figure: the lowly Peep, the marshmallow chicken.

Peeps’ birth is something of a mystery. As in so many other demagogic debates, many Peep peeps have divided themselves into two camps: those that believe the party line, that Peeps were introduced by the Just Born company in 1953; and those that believe that they were produced by Lancaster, Pennsylvania’s Rodda Candy Company as early as the 1920s. My exhaustive three minutes of research came up with a Road Map for Peeps that might appease both factions: The Rodda Candy Company was bought out by Just Born in 1953, which a year later became the world’s largest producer of novelty marshmallow candy. That settles it.

Like simple cuisine, the Peep tastes merely like its three main ingredients: sugar, corn syrup, and gelatin (plus some preservatives and dye, but what of it?). They’re best served in groups of 16 or 20, for popcorn-like snacking or, if you’re feeling crazy, a trip to the kitchen. Never have mutant marshmallow chickens looked so crazy as after 30 seconds in the microwave! They can be left out to dry-age, like cheese or beef, or be dipped in chocolate. Garnish a cake with them! Or don’t!

But as time progresses, even the most holy of holiday traditions become diluted and commercialized. Just Born now has Peeps for most every holiday â€" Peep ghosts, Peep trees, Peep turkets. The leaders of our most important institutions are failing us; greed and politics have made their ways past the fragile, outstretched arms of basic morality. Can we stop it? I don’t know.

Oh well. Happy Easter everyone!