SUZY STUMP: TACOMA GLITTERATI >>>

At 5 p.m. Saturday, while Tacoma glitterati prayed to Hotel Murano owner Gordan Sondland for their new beautiful benefit stomping ground as they strolled down the red carpet at the Museo gala, I was still in the dressing room at Nordstrom. I forked over $29 for a stunning red gown that had only a tiny rip near the zipper, ran to Claire’s in the Tacoma Mall where I picked up a pair of Harry Winston look-a-like solitaire earrings, and hurried home to prepare for the Hotel Murano launch party/benefit for Tacoma Art Museum and the Museum of Glass. As a modest commentator on humanity in all its garishness, at Museo I'm like Augustus Gloop let loose in Willy Wonka's world, amazed at the decadence, the colors and the shapes … sticking my hands in the abundance. Thus, I offer a few observations on Saturday night’s glamorous collection of Tacoma class.

Once inside, I was overwhelmed by the mass of people, most of them quite beautiful in a sort of pickling-preserved way. I was tossed around a sea of black garb. Scrambled eggs and caviar in egg shells, champagne and an open bar elevated the conversation levels. Tacoma Art Museum Director Stephanie Stebich and Museum of Glass Director Tim Close greeted the guests at the entrance. Rep. Norm Dicks, Gov. Christine Gregoire, Mayor Bill Baarsma and Murano owner Sondland and his two children made the rounds. Saxophonist Darren Motamedy provided the soundtrack. Emcee Kip Toner annoyed the crowd with obnoxious announcements.

Drink, mingle, Toner yells at everyone to head toward the dining room. Drink, mingle, Toner yells at everyone to head toward the dining room. Drink, mingle, Toner yells at everyone to head toward the dining room. Drink, mingle, Toner yells at everyone to head toward the dining room. Drink, mingle, Toner yells at everyone to head toward the dining room. Drink, mingle, Toner yells at everyone to head toward the dining room.

Finally, everyone sits down for dinner in the hotel’s beautiful ballroom. As we chow on Maine lobster with a green apple gelle and Cuvaison Chardonnay, the dignitaries begin thanking the world for creating the event. At my table, Stacy Kovats, Marcato project developer, keeps me in stitches all night. My bosses Pappi and Ken Swarner with Allison Swarner and Kate Shanaman (trying to keep the boys sober) also graced my table.

Museo Mismatch Award: First place collectively goes to the man who wore jeans, for God's sake. You must never wear them to a expensive gala again, as you nearly caused my supermodel friend Scott to suffer a cardiac arrest. Really. Honorable mention is awarded to the teal spaghetti-strap number â€" and you know who you are â€" though the glimpse of your exposed left areola also puts you on the best-dressed list, so don't jump off a bridge or anything, honey.

The Snake River Kobe beef filet, roasted tomato demi, seared foie gras, black trumpet and chanterelle mushrooms and Maryhill Zinfandel Proprietors Reserve fueled the live auction, which raised more than $150,000 thanks to a $25,000 boost by George Weyerhaeuser and John Folsom and families. I was in the running for Trustee Choice wine packages A and B for a second each.

Drink, chat, Toner yells at everyone to move to the Pavilion for dessert and Burt Bacharach concert. Drink, chat, Toner yells at everyone to move to the Pavilion for dessert and Burt Bacharach concert. Drink, chat, Toner yells at everyone to move to the Pavilion for dessert and Burt Bacharach concert. Drink, chat, Toner yells at everyone to move to the Pavilion for dessert and Burt Bacharach concert. Drink, chat, Toner yells at everyone to move to the Pavilion for dessert and Burt Bacharach concert. Drink, chat, Toner yells at everyone to move to the Pavilion for dessert and Burt Bacharach concert.

With long, dark curtains, and fantastic lighting the formerly drab Pavilion is now a showpiece. The concert seating consisted of round tables just like dinner with a plate of chocolate, cheese, and fruit plates on each table, as well as a bottle of port, Bailey’s and Hennessey. Though I wouldn't dream of touching one as dessert ruins a good drunk, they looked marvelous. Gauging by the empty plates, there was surely lots of purging going on in bathrooms later â€" a sign of success for Murano Executive Chef Matthew Stickle and crew.

Burt Bacharach grabbed the crowd and never let go. At age 80, and often standing up to pound the piano keys a la Elton John, he transported the mostly 50-and-older crowd back in time with his first four hits: "The Story of My Life," "Magic Moments," "The Blob" (from the movie The Blob) and “Tower of Strength.” He also treated us with: "(The Man Who Shot) Liberty Valance," "Walk on By," "What's New Pussycat?" “Alfie,” “I Say a Little Prayer,” “The Look of Love,” “Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head,” "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?" "Arthur's Theme (The Best That You Can Do)," a funky song he recently wrote with the help of Dr. Dre, and many more. The dude has some hits.

Bacharach told stories from his career throughout the show, most from his early days writing with lyricists Hal David as well as Neil Sedaka, Carol King, Phil Spector at the Brill Building on Broadway in New York City.

The Museo crowd was treated to a Burt Bacharach first. Hal David was actually in the crowd last night and sang their hit “I Will Never Fall in Love Again.” That was the first time David ever sang one of his songs before an audience with Bacharach.

Bacharach closed with "What the World Needs Now Is Love" and a crowd sing-a-long of “Raindrops.”

I knew the night was coming to an end when men asked their wives as they left, "Are you mad at me? Are you mad?" for not holding them during Bacharach’s show. Stiff crowd I tell you.

I got my coat, slurred something to the effect of "Are you still mad at me?" to Toner for many dirty looks on my way out, and marveled not only at the success of Museo, but also that no one else had on the same dress as mine.

Still wired on Hennessey, I grabbed a cab and caught The Jet City Fix’s last couple of songs before Post Stardom Depression took the stage at Hell’s Kitchen. The packed joint was a benefit for PSD guitarist’s Kyong Kim’s daughter who suffers from a birth defect on her esophagus.

PSD singer Jeff Angell had his sexy on as the band ripped through their hits.