SUZY STUMP: I GOT A LETTER >>>

Suzy, do you have a boyfriend? I think I have a crush on you. Angel, Lakewood.

Finally! A letter from a dude! And a fine one at that.

No, luv, life is too short for Judeo-Christian moral parameters, especially monogamy. I have, at any given time, several men with whom I … hang out. The one thing they have in common: They don’t bring me drama.

If you’d like to be considered, send a few JPEGs here with a short bio and your qualifications.

Oh, I should also mention: If you’re under 25-years-old, don’t even bother. I saw how you behaved last night at the new Juno club downtown. What’s up with the baseball cap and toothpick?

Even though Juno is basically the old Garage nightclub with a curtained-off VIP room, it does have a chance of making it, especially with that smoking hot chick bartending.

However, I’d like it to make a few changes:

Make sure the singer doesn’t stand behind the post supporting two flat screens that blocks the middle section of the massive stage. I couldn’t see Alex Duncan half the time last night.

Do we really need to watch the band in various modes â€" sepia, mirror, fadeout â€" on the televisions? I found the looping annoying, especially with the mode name blocking half the screen.  BTW, washout scrolling was my favorite.

And, last, shut the freakin' door. It was freezing up front.

Back to the dudes, is no one dismayed by the fact that 40 or 50 years from now there will be elderly men â€" grandfathers â€" named Caden and DeShawn and Angel? It just won’t sound right, having old men named Hunter cruising around on Rascals.

All the booths along Juno's back wall sported chilled champagne and reserved signs.

A massive fan of Juno.

Hey, Alex Duncan! I can't see you behind that post!