MATT DRISCOLL: NEVER BEEN TO NAPAVINE >>>

Let’s be honest. Napavine isn’t exactly a happening place. In 2000 it had a population of 1,361 â€" and unofficially most of those people were Republicans. Napavine isn’t exactly the type of town that screams “Let’s party!” (Unless you’re talking about a party of very few people featuring anti gay marriage pin the tail on the donkey.)

But Napavine does have an amphitheater, and while places like the Gorge and White River may steal all the glory, from time to time an interesting show does make its way down to Lewis County (that’s where Napavine is.)

While I believe it was officially announced last week â€" possibly even the end of last month - news just hit my inbox today that the Presidents of the United States of America along with Outtasite (featuring Sir Mix A Lot) and Mamapez will play the Napavine Amphitheater on Saturday, June 28. While the show might not make Napavine officially cool, it doesn’t hurt.

If you didn’t know before, now you do. For more info click here. 

LITERATURE
Banned Book Club
What if I could fly? What if the sun never set? What if there could exist a never-ending container of peanut butter cup and chocolate ice cream? Aah, the wonderful world of what if: Imagining and creating and exploring new dimensions day in and day out, testing the boundaries of the mind.

What if Athletic Shorts had never been published?

What if you checked out the Banned Book Club’s discussion on said book at the Tempest Lounge?

What if host sweet pea wasn’t so sweet?

What if you went? â€" SS

[Tempest Lounge, 7 p.m., no cover, 913 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Tacoma, 253.272.4904]

CELTIC
Ockham’s Razor
A crossbreed of the traditionalism of the Chieftains and the hard stomp of the Pogues, Seattle's own Ockham's Razor take the Gaelic-Celtic genre into the 21st century with a keen sense of the past coupled with a progressive attitude that is entirely fresh.

They will help Doyle’s Public House celebrate St. Practice Day tonight. â€" Tony Engelhart
[Doyle's Public House, 8 p.m., no cover, 208 St. Helen's Ave., Tacoma, 253.238.5359]

LINK: Space Travel Is Boring and others in the clubs tonight.
LINK: Discover when the movies start here.
LINK: Let’s eat Japanese tonight.

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

THE DAILY WORD

Hypnagogic \hip-nuh-GOJ-ik; -GOH-jik\, adjective:

Of, pertaining to, or occurring in the state of drowsiness preceding sleep.

USAGE EXAMPLE: Typically, Bobble Tiki’s hypnagogic adventures are filled with top heavy women, bottom heavy drinks, ‘80s heavy mixes, and unrealistically heavy bags of money. Sometimes, however, in his moments just before sleep, Bobble Tiki’s hypnagogic hallucinations are of kitty cats doing the electric slide, while giant mice play poker and sip Jim Beam.

MORNING NEWS

TACOMA: An apology

OLYMPIA: Search suspended, missing boaters presumed dead

SEATTLE: Sonics trial update

UNITED STATES: Online reading

JUST BIZARRE: Naughty nurse bandits

MORE STRANGE NEWS: Sometimes you need smokes

THINGS TO DO TODAY
FILM LISTINGS: Look here
MUSIC LISTINGS: Here’s what’s happening
SHOOT THE SHIT: Weekly Volcano forums

STEPH DEROSA: CORK! OPENS TODAY >>>

My telepathic signals to Bacchus have finally been answered; we finally have another wine bar that serves food in Tacoma. I suffer a little guilt for feeling such joy and love for Cork! when we have other great wine bars like Enoteca and Pour at Four here locally¬" but something's been missing in my alcoholic heart ever since the close of Vin Grotto.

I snuck into Cork yesterday, one day before the soft opening of their Sixth Avenue much-needed establishment. Bandito Betty and I had sampled a few lunchtime beers at Masa down the street, and it was already starting to hit our bladders. Cork! co-owner Shana Zimmerman graciously let us in to use the potty.

Upon viewing the room I oohed and ahhed over its prettiness. I then asked her what she liked about her bathroom. She answered me with nothing but enthusiasm and happiness:user-friendly!Best bathroom answer EVER.

This, of course, had my mind reeling as I used the facilities and washed up. Two things: I wish more people were as enthusiastic about the simple things in life, and I wish more things were user-friendly. Why can't I have it all? 

My friend and I went to catch a drag show last Saturday at a local downtown Tacoma club known for hosting a homosexual crowd. The man at the front warned us that we would be picked on during the show because we were straight. Excuse me? I'm sure you mean nothing but good honest fun when you decide to pick on straight people, but what if the tables were turned? How hypocritical. Is this retaliation for the years of unacceptance homosexuals have had to encounter? My friend and I were made to feel unwelcome in a place that we clearly view as mainstream. Yes, that's right, we are non-discriminatory, non-judgmental, and all accepting. What do we get in return? Picked on.

As for the enthusiasm about the simple things in life part of my diatribe, I'd like to point out something I noticed on my beautiful day out yesterday: A lot of Tacomans are dead boring.

I was out by myself, child set in summer camp (finally), and enjoying the gorgeous (again, finally) day on Sixth Avenue. I had no real goals, no real mission, just out to soak in the scene. OK, maybe I had one mission, and that was to find someone interesting. As a high-tech award-winning international super dynamic celebrity columnist for the Weekly Volcano, this is how I come up with ideas.

So as I'm out I notice the gloom and doom on most everyone's face. Nobody is smiling, nobody is talking, nobody wants to be talked to, and nobody is making eye contact. Is it just me? Is it just my Texan way that makes me want to look into someone's eyes and smile? The sun's out for fuck's sake! Get your smile on! Walk proud, you white, pasty Tacomans¬" enjoy this shit while you can. Get to know your neighbors, and feel good about where you live.

I finally got someone to talk to me. I practically had to beg him. After a plethora of intriguing questions being answered with the most boring yes/no answers, I had finally had enough. The last question I asked was,So what do you like to do for fun? His answer?Watch TV.

No wonder everyone is so down and boring. Get the hell out of your damn house! Check out today's grand opening of Cork!

DANIEL BLUE: MEET MAUREEN MCHUGH >>>

Maureen McHugh is a Goddess of Tea and Natural Herbs.  She lives in Tacoma half of the week and lives across the bridge and deep in the forest of Gig Harbor the rest of the week.  She is the nicest and kindest herb and tea Goddess I have ever met. 

I met Maureen at the Mad Hat Tea Company when she and Tobin Ropes opened over a year ago.  We both knew we were going to be friends for a long time.  Any time I am feeling slightly under the weather, I stop in and describe my symptoms to her, every time so far she has a remedy already bagged that is named the very thing that I described.  "Icky throat situation," and "Panicked tired and drugged" are a few of my favorites. 

Maureen is a master with the brush and a bottle of India ink, too. She buys in bulk and creates beautiful scripts and illustrations with the fervor of an enchanter's scribe. 

Do not call her a cupcake, she is a proper crumpet, the mad hat is full of silly people like you who think they know what they are dealing with.  Only I do, I think.

JOHN HERBERT: SIRIUS ESTATE GROUP PULLS OUT >>>

Dan Voelpel reports on The News Tribune's Biz Buzz blog that Sirius Estate Group will not purchase the the historic Tacoma Elks Temple that sits at 565 Broadway. They pulled out due to financial reasons.

Sirius announced its intention to explore options to purchase (…sorry, that’s how real estate people talk…) the building from owners Williams & Dame, a Portland-based developer that purchased the building last year. Williams & Dame put the troubled building back on the market recently, with officials citing financing troubles.

I still think Sirius will trumpet plans to move forward with the project, with a shocking surprise twist. Sirius will reveal plans to renovate the Elks Temple as a transportation hub and office complex. Adjacent lots included in the deal will house a six-story apartment complex, intended to house former residents of the Winthrop Apartments, and a new Tacoma Police substation.

“We needed a well-financed California developer and a local powerhouse to help distribute the risk on this project,” Sirius officials will announce. “This partnership will put most of the ‘bus people’ and ‘Winthrop people’ in one location, with Tacoma law enforcement as neighbors.”

Sirius also will unveil a study indicating that the plan will result in a 59 percent reduction in ‘ickiness’ and ‘tomfoolery’ downtown.

Just saying.

LINK: The Biz Buzz

JENNIFER JOHNSON: GOOD MORNING ALFRED >>>

Alfred’s Café & Bubble Room’s menu is so extensive, I frequent the joint frequently.  In fact, sometimes it’s near impossible to decide what to chow on with more than 10 appetizers, five salads, 12 types of hand-thrown pizza, six entrees and 10 sandwiches. I’m sure I’m missing something.

Alfred’s also makes an amazing breakfast. They don’t try to get fancy with herbs and sauces and complex ingredients.  The chicken fried steak morning entree spills over the plate’s edge. Creamy, peppered gravy sopped right on to golden English muffins and potatoes is a belly-rubbing experience.

On the recommendation of the attentive server, I ordered Alfred’s sausage patties (three to a side order) and enjoyed their spiciness. Hash browns are the real reason to break your fast at this East Tacoma location. They are consistently balanced between crispy and soft with just the right amount of grease and tiny chopped onion pieces thrown in for added flavor. 

Alfred’s features a full liquor and espresso bar, so order up a Bloody Mary, mimosa or have a triple shot espresso in your Bailey’s and coffee.

[Alfred’s Café & Bubble Room, open at 6 a.m. daily, 402 Puyallup Ave. E., Tacoma by the Tacoma Dome, 253.627.5491]

LINK: Where to eat in the South Sound

MUSEUM
The West the Railroads Made
We should all pay more attention to train enthusiasts. No, listen, stop laughing. They embody both the history (choo-choo trains, cow catchers, waving handkerchiefs from the platform) and the future (mass transit, commuter rails, park and ride) of transportation. Further study of their beliefs and practices is encouraged â€" try, for example The West the Railroads Made, the Washington State History Museum’s salute to the tracks and equipment from the Great Northern, Northern Pacific and Union Pacific railroads beginning in the 1840s. You (should you follow my advice) will learn how this one form of transportation reshaped the West (I don’t know what to say, but my style called for another parentheses). â€" Suzy Stump
[Washington State History Museum, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., $6-$8, 1911 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.9747]

FILM
Iron Man
Robert Downey Jr. is absolutely terrific as Tony Stark/Iron Man, delivering a performance that is both comedic and poignant.  This is an outstanding superhero action adventure that is well-directed and features strong supporting performances â€" especially from Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges. Rated PG-13. Four stars. â€" Bill Zwecker
[Century Olympia: 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:30; Lakewood Cinema 15: 11:50 a.m., 3:40, 6:40, 9:55; Lakewood Towne Center 12: 1:40, 4:25, 7:10, 9:55; Longston Place 14: 10:55 a.m., 1:45, 4:35, 7:40, 10:40; Regal Martin Village 16: 11 a.m., 1:55, 7:25, 10:25]

BLUES
Loose Gravel and the Quarry
Take a cup of blues, a pinch of soul and a dab of folk and you get Steven ‘Loose Gravel’ Luhtala. Give Luhtala his band, The Quarry, and you have one of the finest sounds to come out of Tacoma in a long time. â€" Tony Engelhart
[Seafarer Sports Bar, 8 pm, 3878 Center St., Tacoma, 253.572.8141]

LINK: Billy Shew and others in the clubs tonight
LINK: Catch a movie
LINK: Calendar of events
LINK: Let’s eat Mexican today