STEPH DEROSA: I LIKE SAILORS >>>

I don’t care what my husband says; I’m finally going to cross off one item on my bucket list: I’m going to take home a sailor.

Not only am I going to take this sailor home with me, but also I’m going to introduce him to my husband, cook for him, and do a load of his laundry. Think my main man will care? Probably not.

Tall Ships Tacoma is just around the corner and the volunteer sailors are away from home. By the time they get done being all pirate-like for your needy butts, they’ve worked up a hunger and done gone and dirtied up their clothes. So what do you think these guys need? That’s right, they need YOU.

This year Sanford and Son Antiques have graciously offered to be the official “Take Home A Sailor Headquarters.” Volunteers are needed, and I’m encouraging all Weekly Volcano readers and their friends (unless you’re like Matt Driscoll and have no friends) to step up and offer a ride to a laundromat, a home cooked meal, a Doyle’s Cheesy British, a chance to take a break, or anything that might give them a little comfort of home.

Hopefully, by making Sanford and Son the central location for dirty duds, dinners and drivers, do-gooders looking for dimple-faced sailors and eventual dew-eyed departures; this should be a dandy opportunity. The last “Tall Ships,” so we’ve been told, lacked the cohesion needed for everyone to get together.

To pitch in, phone 253.272.0334 or stop in soon at Sanford and Son Antiques, 743 Broadway, downtown Tacoma.

But wait! I’m not done â€" I have some great news! FINALLY the fine people over at Sanford and Son have put together a good ol’ fashion U.S.O Dance â€" and I am beside myself with anticipation. All the gals are getting dressed up in their 1940s gear and guys â€" you just go on lookin’ your usual dapper 1904s selves. (I personally would like to see more handsome men in uniform.) This will take place on whichever evening the TBD volunteer swing band has available. Look here at the Weekly Volcano for more information coming soon.

One more time for all you slow people out there: To pitch in, phone 253.272.0334 or stop in soon at Sanford and Son Antiques, 743 Broadway, downtown Tacoma. Do it!