DANIEL BLUE: MEET LINDA DESANTIS-LAPPING >>>

Linda DeSantis-Lapping is addicted to tea. This is good since her best friend and compatriot, Maureen, co-owns the Mad Hat Tea Company.

Pictured here at Art on the Ave, Linda is wearing a fancy hat that she found.

A ploy-entrepreneur, Linda owns both a graphic design firm and a yoga studio. 

I met Linda at the 100th Monkey party that took place in Claudia's tile factory. She is kind and remembered my name far faster than I could remember hers. I must have asked her for it every time we met for at least a few years. I hate it when people do that to me, it makes me feel unimportant. Linda, however, didn't seem to mind.

She is mild mannered and patient, and an artist in most every sense of the word. Having been a founding member of Hogbot, an arts collective with greats such as Dave Davidson and Mary Kay Johnson, Linda is accustomed to working in tandem with other artists. Collaboration can be a tricky game to play when artists become emotionally attached to their work. Recently she has helped Maureen with two shows at the tea shop: The Crow Show, which was her idea anyway, and a psychedelic show, which was I'm sure born out of some late night girls only belly dance body paint wine binge after hours.

LINK: The Tacoma Files archive

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

THE DAILY WORD

Aestival \ES-tuh-vuhl\, adjective:
Of or belonging to the summer; as, aestival diseases. [Spelled also estival.]

USAGE EXAMPLE: Bobble Tiki, despite his island themed heritage, has been happy to see the rain and clouds of the last few days. It hasn’t exactly been aestival, but â€" at least to Bobble Tiki â€" it has been nice and refreshing.

MORNING NEWS

TACOMA: Immigration mix-up

OLYMPIA: Death at Tumwater glass plant

SEATTLE: It's tough to walk on crappy sidewalks

UNITED STATES: Will Obama and Hillary kiss and make up at convention?

ENVIRONMENT: Lowering the speed limit to save gas

JUST BIZARRE: Boobs on bikes parade

MORE STRANGE NEWS: Return of the dead

THINGS TO DO TODAY
FILM LISTINGS: Look here
MUSIC LISTINGS: Here’s what’s happening
SHOOT THE SHIT: Weekly Volcano forums

STEPH DEROSA: DOCKYARD DERBY DAMES GO GREEK >>>

Statistics show that 99 percent of the time I don’t wear panties under my toga. Thankfully those dark printed Snoopy sheets masquerade all private bits quite well. Also thankfully, the Dockyard Derby Dames have given me yet another glorious toga party to pimp the Peanuts sheets once again.

This Saturday night Tacoma’s only flat track women’s roller derby league is asking everyone to get their Greek on and join them for a toga party-themed bout at The Soccer Center. Neighboring roller girls from Olympia, the Oly Rollers, will be knocking skates against everyone’s favorite Tacoma team, The Trampires. Femme Fianna and Marauding Molly’s will be sparring sheets as well in their own blood-inducing match. The Hellbound Homewreckers team will host the bout.

Cool Snoopy sheets blowing in the breeze must give these roller ladies somewhat of a soft heart for pets, seeing as how the Humane Society will be in the house with community information and opportunities to help. A portion of ticket sales will be donated to the Tacoma-Pierce County Humane Society, and hopefully the only harm to animals will be the ripping of tiger-print sheets off skater’s bodies.

Hell’s Kitchen hosts the after party with The Pleasure Elite, Charlie Drown, Mexican UFO and Dem Zaing.

Doors open at 6, bout begins at 7, and the kickass halftime band, Steel Tigers of Death, starts whenever the hell they feel like it.

[The Soccer Center, Saturday, Aug. 23, 7 p.m., $10 at brownpapertickets.com, $12 door, 2610 Bay St. E., Tacoma]

P.S.: The Dockyard Derby Dames now practice at the Historic Tacoma Armory at 715 S. 11th Street. Change your voyeuristic habits accordingly.

MICHAEL SWAN: PLAY AT HOME >>>

Keep your eye on the Pierce County Auditor's Web site for today's Primary Election results. The first batch will hit the site at 8:30 p.m. tonight.

SUZY STUMP: CROSS YOUR FINGERS >>>

The News Tribune reports that Gari of Sushi will open Friday if inspections go well. Check it out here.

It is located at 1209 S. 38th St. in the Lincoln Business District in Tacoma. Give them a buzz Friday at 253.475.3456 for verification, or keep an eye on Spew.

STEPH DEROSA: I NEED AN ICE CREAM TRUCK >>>

Every time I rest myself upon the coffee throne of Beyond The Bridge Café’s restroom, I realize I’m not only in a coffee shop, but I’m in a home. Nobody lives there, but the people that gather inside the BBC are a family. Whether it’s your first visit or your hundredth, you are treated as though you’ve been coming there forever and are part of the crew. Owners Trish and Ben Rubke thrive as loving and supportive parents to the “kids” they employee.

Inside the walls of BBC, people are making dreams come true. Local musicians are getting their feet wet with live performances, and the Rubkes are living the dream of running a prosperous Sumner hangout. As I’m perched upon the BBC throne, I think about my dreams, hopes and life challenges. Have I conquered them? Is it possible to accomplish these dreams? Who am I going to have to be nice to in order to get some of my dreams to come true? Are they going to be an asshole about it? Why can’t I just get my own way all the time and screw being nice?

I’ll share a secret with you, but you can’t tell anyone. Especially that girl in accounting, she’s a jealous bitch and she’ll try to do it before me. It’s my most important lifelong dream of five months, and it has yet to come true: Driving an ice cream truck.

There. Now you know.

I think it was back in April of this year when I pitched the idea to KAke and Bandito Betty â€" we should get ourselves an ice cream truck and tear up Tacoma, Bomb pop style. They both were, of course, completely game for this excursion. All I needed to do was find the truck. Pappi Swarner even said he would pay for some of the ice cream. He’s not usually that nice, so this was an amazing quest we had to surmount.

Almost immediately (some time the next month) I Googled the idea, using all the correct keywords: ice cream, truck, Tacoma, sucker, and up to no good. A few days went by, questdexonline.com was utilized, and ultimately I wound up on craigslist. I had hit the jackpot when I found a very nice gentleman looking for ice cream truck drivers. He gave me the lowdown, described the job, the fees, and the payout. I didn’t give a crap about making money; I just wanted to drive the truck and play my own music out of the speakers.

He told me that all he had were scooters, but that he did have a van about to be retro-fitted into an ice cream truck. It would take a couple of weeks, and it would be worth the wait.

A couple of weeks went by, then a couple of months. We kept in contact, but things were slow moving. I had watched all the fun community events go by, and all my ice cream truck opportunities missed. The summer was almost over and I had to get moving â€" so I called the guy up and said I was ready. I didn’t care what type of vehicle he had; I just wanted to do something with ice cream at this point. Summer was almost over, the weather had been crappy, and Frost Park Chalk Off a la Weekly Volcano was calling my name. It was hotter than a motherfucker, and with ice cream dude I had made a deal (we even shook on it!) that I would stop by his office Friday morning to pick up the ice cream vehicle and fulfill my dream! Finally!

I dropped my daughter off at the in-laws, prepped myself with change at the bank (even had to go INSIDE since they wouldn’t give me quarters in the drive-thru), and hauled ass over to ice cream truck haven in order to make it to Frost Park by noon. I was ready for this moment â€" so very ready for this to finally happen.

So why didn’t I show up at Frost Park last Friday with an ice cream truck? Because HE FORGOT. He gave the vehicle away before I got there that I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE. Remember? We shook on it!!! What. The. Hell?

To my six readers: This is a cry for help. There’s maybe a couple of weeks left of summer-type weather that I can use to sell ice cream. Anyone have an ice cream truck I could use? I don’t care about the money. As a matter of fact, my plan for last week was to use the money I earned to buy ice cream and deliver it (via ice cream truck) to an at-risk Tacoma elementary school. I had a plan, I had the school, it was a done deal … and now there’s nothing.

Sadness ensues. Can anyone help? I’ll even let you ride shotgun.

SUZY STUMP: BEER NUT TREE CHECK >>>

Remember that beer nut you planted on June 19? Is it producing brewberries?  Rusty George Creative wants to know. Their Harvest Your Beer Garden Day celebration is Friday, Aug. 22, 4-6 p.m., at their downtown Tacoma offices. Go share your harvest.

I hope you planted a Designated Driver tree, too.

MATT DRISCOLL: WEEKLY VOLCANO PRIMARY TRACKER '08>>>

354 people have voted for Will Baker so far.

LINK: Others receive votes, too