STEPH DEROSA: GOT DINNER? >>>

Back in May my imaginary Dinner with DeRosa centered some of the biggest assholes I had met around that time.  I run into assholes on almost a daily basis, and with that I’m sure these same assholes go home after a day of meeting me and blog about the biggest bitch they’ve ever met.  It’s all good.  I’m not a bitch unless provoked.  So the way I look at it, these assholes probably deserve it.

I had mentioned back in May how silly trucks with oversized wheels can look, and how really there is no reason for someone cruising the streets of Tacoma to need wheels that big.  While standing outside on the corner of Sixth and Pine in Tacoma one day, I witnessed at least two trucks drive by within minutes of each other.  Seriously guys, you don’t need to be such a blatant attention whore.  With your stupid big tires and such. So dumb.

Claudia of Ixia Tile had made a comment regarding trucks with balls hanging from the back.  Don’t think I forgot about you, Claudia.  Balls hanging from the back tails of big trucks are yet another classic asshole move.  I want to invite these guys and ask what motivates someone to hang rubber balls from the back of their truck.  Did mommy breastfeed for too long?  Not enough attention from the strippers at Fox’s?  Struggling with some sexual identity issues? 

Besides big trucks and their dangling balls, another thing that needs to immediately cease in today’s society if the use of the phrase “Got____?”  People, I beg of you, STOP.  It’s so played out. “Got_____?” over-users are all invited so that I can slap you upside the head.   The phrase “Got Milk” began in October of 1993, and continues to be amusing in the wonderful world of dairy goods.  But as for all the lame, non-creative losers who continuously think it’s clever and witty to add in their own slogans, you need to stop.  How stupid is it at this point, 15 years after the slogan was started, to make T-shirts and sell them at your sushi bar that say “Got Sushi?” Seriously, is anyone buying them?  Would the typical person even consider wearing one?  Worst thing I’ve seen recently that made me almost blow a DeRosa gasket is a shirt created by my husband’s EX-employee.  They are an engineering firm, and she made shirts that said “Got Land?”  Thank blog they finally smarted up and canned her stupid ass.  She was useless, and always will be. She’s not invited. I hate her.

This ex-employee was so dumb on so many different levels, but what made her especially nauseous to look at was her ridiculous fake tan.  These women (and men) who tan too much need to Windex their mirrors, buff out their disillusions, and take a glance at how out of place they look. You live in Washington state for fuck’s sake.   

Speaking of tans, my family and I were headed out of town for a weekend at the beach and I stopped by Famous Dave’s for some dinner on our way out.  There’s no denying the fact that Famous Dave’s has some damn good barbeque, and is consistently packed to the rims just about every weekend.  A 30-minute wait is what we expected for this certain Friday night, and I happily added my name to the list.  We sat about 10 feet away from the hostess and heard her call name after name after name. After a while we realized that the wait was over, everyone that had come in after us was already sat, and people were just walking in and being sat right away.  I asked the young hostess why I hadn’t been sat, and she replied, “I called your name.  You must’ve not heard me.”  Oh, OK â€" customer service strike number one: Don’t blame it on the customer.

She said she’d seat us next, but we witnessed twosome after twosome being sat immediately upon entrance. When a table for four walked in and she began to seat them, I got pissed.  Her rebuttal to me was: “Oh, I forgot about you.  You should’ve reminded me.”  WHAT?!  No, you ditzy bitch, I’m not here to do your job for you.  I’ve been in the industry for many, many years â€" I know that the hostess position is not rocket science.  And why the fuck do you guys have the little vibrating boxes to use for busy night waits when you clearly don’t use them.  You may have been voted “Best BBQ” at Taste of Tacoma, but your hostess is stupid.  She’s invited because I think it’d be fun to laugh at how horribly bad at her job she is while eating dinner.

On a side note, my husband thinks that the witch floor manager working that night crossed my name off the list and that we were never called at all.  Why would he think that?  Because I used to work with said witch a long time ago and during that time I was never shy about expressing how mentally challenged I thought she was.  So she most likely doesn’t care for me.  Yeah, that’s right, folks â€" I have enemies. No surprise to most of you, I’m sure.  As for the witchy famous Dave’s floor manager â€" well she can kiss my ass, at my dinner table, of course.

Mangiamo!

LINK: Dinner with DeRosa archive

STEVE DUNKELBERGER: HARLEQUIN LOVES SOCKS >>>

Harlequin Productions has sort of created a name for itself as a thinking-person's theater. Its shows are often deep in cultural references and plays on words.

Its latest offering fits right into that reputation. The show Psychopathia Sexualis is a comedy that is not only accessible because of its surface-level dialogue and storyline, but it also has clever cultural puns and darn I say high-brow humor that would fit right into the repertoire of the talks by listeners of National Public Radio or Public Broadcasting Service.

It is a good show to see if you want to test your own intelligence and cultural literacy. You pass if you find yourself laughing or at least smirking when others in the audience remain silent.

The play involves the struggles of a particularly distraught artist as he nears his wedding day. Arthur (played by Ricky Coates) is set to marry a Texas cowgirl from a rich oil family but must solve a problem he has been struggling with for a few years. He can't seem get himself "aroused" without having his father's argyle socks within reach. His therapist (Russ Holm) brands him a fetishist and vows to cure him at all costs.

As the calendar clocks away the days, Arthur begins to panic as six years of therapy hasn't seemed to done their job. So his therapist steals the socks to force him to go cold turkey without them. That makes him come unglued, so he recruits his friend, a former financial advisor turned psychology buff to seek the services of the therapist as a way to get the socks back.

[Harlequin's Psychopathia Sexualis runs at 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays and at 2 p.m. on Sundays through Sept. 13. Tickets are $12 to $33. Harlequin stages its shows at its home stage, the State Theater at 202 E 4th Ave, Olympia. For more information, call (360) 786-0151 or visit www.harlequinproductions.org.]

STEVE DUNKELBERGER: DEAD GENTLEMEN MAKE A FILM>>>

While Tacoma has been the site of big hit movies over the years, it really hasn't been host of local talent that made a film that made it big. Until now.

Tacoma's Dead Gentlemen Productions has released its latest film and found it rocketing to the top of the Netflix request charts and selling out faster than they can burn the DVDs. The gathering of Pacific Lutheran University graduates turned actors and now movie moguls first made it big with their short film The Gamers a few years ago as it build a cult following among the comic book and roll playing communities of the world.

The movie went on  to be screened to rave reviews in dozens of film festivals and game conventions worldwide. It took home the award for Best Fan Film of 2003. The latest film, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising, tells the story of Lodge, a dungeon master in a roll playing game and budding writer, who wants his gaming group to finish their adventure. They have other interests, including picking up girls and setting things on fire. He then tosses in a curve into the game by introducing one of the rarest animals to the roll playing community â€" a girl.

This parody takes good-humored digs at the gaming community in ways that the the holders of those odd shaped dice would find funny. It was a film that was obviously crafted instead of just filmed to be a throw-away sequel to its previous sleeper hit sibling.

"Those who've seen it are saying that jokes hit harder and funnier, which is a huge success in my book," Dead Gentlemen Productions Executive Producer Don Early says. "You don't have to know anything about Dungeons and Dragons or roleplaying games to get the movie, have fun and laugh hard. If you are familiar with the subject matter, it will be that much funnier. We really focused on making this movie accessible for everyone so we can widen our fan base. It's a real character movie that moves well and really shows you what playing roleplaying games are like. The first movie was more like a series of sketches strung together. We might revisit that model later in another movie, but for Dorkness, the character narrative was the next logical step for us."

[The local stars of The Gamers: Dorkness Rising will be holding a signing event at 2 p.m. on Sunday, Aug. 31, at Comic Book Ink, located at 1625 E. 72nd Street and Portland Avenue. More information is available at www.deadgentlemen.com or www.comicbookink.com.]

SUZY STUMP: 5 THINGS TO DO TODAY >>>

10 A.M.: Forty Part Motet is a 40-track audio installation that allows listeners to experience sound from the viewpoint of a choir, physically involving them in a piece of music by the 16th-century English composer Thomas Tallis. Jump in it at the Tacoma Art Museum.

10 A.M.: The South was not the only place where Americans were denied equal rights. Right here in Tacoma, as little as 35 years ago, Americans couldn’t get jobs or housing because of their color. Learn how local leaders fought Washington’s own civil rights battle in Tacoma’s Civil Rights Struggle: African Americans Leading the Way now on display at the Washington State History Museum. Guests will also see how the equal rights effort continues today.

2:15-9 P.M.: American Teen observes a year in the life of four high school seniors in Warsaw, Ind. There's the popular girl, the nerd, the basketball star, the artsy outsider. Director Nanette Burstein sometimes seems to be guiding the action, and we doubt certain scenes would have really occurred on camera, but the overall effect is convincing and touching. Rated PG-13. It’s playing at the Grand.

8 P.M.: It’s Monday and that means Greta James â€" the jazz band consisting of Vince Brown on guitar, Carey Black (or Harry Levine) on upright bass, Andrew Dorsett on keys and Greta Jane aka Ruby Valentine on vox â€" swings it at The Royal tonight.

9 p.m.: Anyone can belt out Journey at a karaoke bar. But what if a full band with puffy hair and leather pants were actually behind you playing while you hit that triplicate “going eh-nee-where” note? The dream can be yours every Monday night at Jazzbones. It’s the closest your ass will get to stardom.

LINK: Viva South Sound arts and entertainment calendar
LINK: Live music and DJs tonight

JAKE DE PAUL: THE MORNING BREW >>>

1. The Chronicle wine selections: Washington state Syrah (SF Gate)

2. Think pink! (Culinary Fool)

3. Better living without chemistry (Guilty Carnivore)

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide

BOBBLE TIKI: BREAKFAST WITH BOBBLE TIKI >>>

THE DAILY WORD

gambol \'gam-bel\ verb intransitive (1508)
To skip about in play: frisk, frolic

USAGE EXAMPLE: "I tell ya, it's like the prisoners were just gambolling around, diving out of the buses, hopped up on joy juice. With the release of these criminals, maybe we can have peace,"  Prime Minister Ehud Olmert of Israel did not say.

THE MORNING NEWS

PIERCE COUNTY: Council rethinks real estate sign rule.

THURSTON COUNTY: Dude surrenders to SWAT team.

SEATTLE: Yeah Monorail!

UNITED STATES: Blacks debate civil rights rick in Obama's rise.

ENVIRONMENT: Drilling boom revives hope for natural gas.

JUST BIZARRE: "Spud" the potato boy.

MORE STRANGE NEWS: Beauty pageant for nuns.

THINGS TO DO TODAY

FILM LISTINGS: Look here

MUSIC LISTINGS: Here’s what’s happening tonight

SHOOT THE SHIT: Weekly Volcano forums

JAKE DE PAUL: NEAT. MORE WINGS >>>

UPDATE: Winger's will host a grand opening Sept. 29 with a soft opening a few days before.

The franchise Winger's Grill and Bar will open in the old Tony Roma’s spot Labor Day Weekend according to manager Pam McPherson. It will be similar to a Ram Restaurant â€" half sports bar, half family joint with burgers and wings ruling the roost. 

MARYLIN STRICKLAND: DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION, AUG. 24, 7:18 P.M. >>>

Obama delegate and Tacoma City Council member Marylin Strickland has arrived at the her Denver hotel, which is 45 minutes from the Pepsi Center, site of this year’s Democratic Convention. On the flight to Denver, she sat with King County Executive Ron Simms, Sen. Rosa Franklin (D-29th District) and her 18-year-old grandson, who is a student at Clover Park High School, and Claudia Kaufmann (D-47th District).

“I saw Ron (Simms), and he warmly greeted me, and said ‘This is going to be very fun’,” says Strickland. “I think he’s exactly right. It’s going to be historical.”

The delegates have a grueling schedule, starting with a breakfast meeting from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m., where delegates will plan and strategize for the day ahead. From 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., delegates will attend different caucuses, check out the scene, attend meetings, etcetera. From 4 p.m. until 9 p.m., delegates are in general session, where they pour over their platforms, make nominations and listen to various speeches.

“After nine, there are receptions galore,” says Strickland.