STEVE DUNKELBERGER: AROUND AND AROUND THEY WENT >>>

Roller derby in Tacoma is just one of those things that defines surreal. First there are hot chicks in torn fishnet stockings and tons of makeup on roller skates. And then there are their children jumping around with pom-poms and signs of encouragement. It's a mix of tramp stamps peaking through low rise jeans and halter tops and children in Sponge Bob Squarepants pajamas chugging down juice from their sippy cups.

Saturday night at the Dockyard Derby Dames bout at The Soccer Center in Tacoma there were crowds ranging from grandmothers to toddlers in training pants, from dudes in muscle shirts to suburban housewives in their weekend finery.

Such is a night when the Dockyard Derby Dames find themselves on the playbill.

The 3-year-old dames are Tacoma’s all-female roller derby league that has bouts once per month until the season championship in October. The dames have four teams: Maurading Mollys, Femme Fianas, The Trampires and Hellbound Homewreckers. The all-stars from these teams make up the touring team that finds itself around the nation.

Here's a primer for anyone unwashed in the ways of roller derby:

One woman from each team, called the pivot, leads the other roller derby skaters to set the pace of the teams. Each team has three blockers right behind the pivot that are supposed try to block players from passing. One Jammer from each team then tries to pass the pack of blocker and pivot to score points. They earn one point for each player they pass. Matches are 20 minutes long and made up of jams, which are when all of the players get into position.

Between the starting whistle and the end of the jam are blocks and spills that can send players spinning into the safety pads. Safety and common sense dictate that skates can legally bump and nudge only with their shoulders and hips â€" no hands allowed or the offender faces time in the penalty box, which is often full.

Next bouts

• Travel Team Bouts: Saturday, Sept. 27 at the Tacoma Soccer Center.
• The Dockyard Derby Dames will hold tryouts at the Auburn Skate Connection Sunday, Oct. 5.

Visit their Web site here.