STEPH DEROSA: CARTOONIST’S LEAGUE OF ABSURD WASHINGTONIANS >>>

For the first time in my Weekly Volcano career I’m scared. I’m scared. I’m speechless, and I had to Google two slang terms. Otherwise known as CLAW, the Cartoonist’s League of Absurd Washingtonians sent an invitation our way to an event that we’re not quite sure what to do with. Should we go? Should we run away in fear? Or should we call the police? What should we do? We need advice. And afterward, we might need therapy.

CLAW labels itself as a somewhat secret society of people who wield colored pencils as weapons and look cartoon zombies square in the face without fear. Once a month these robust illustrators open their vault doors (otherwise known as the doors to the private room at The Mandolin Café) allowing public viewing to what we can only guess is a massive display of pure unbridled drawing talent. Plus, they apparently also each wear a red fez complete with black tassel, so that’s bonus.

Adults (no kids) may join this illustrious group of local cartoonists for conversation, inquiry, or just as a spectator Wednesday, Jan. 28, 7:30 p.m. at The Mandolin Café. We pass along this invitation to all Spew and Weekly Volcano readers with the hopes that someone will go and protect us from any sketched robots that may come to life. So, who’s game?

[Mandolin Café, 3923 S. 12th St., Tacoma, 253.761.3482]

MICHAEL SWAN: THE HAPPENING >>>

Saturday, working on my insignia, I closed my eyes, opened up the dictionary (still have one), and brought my index finger down on any old word â€" you know the trick. I needed to add an image to my insignia. I was drawing a blank. And I had a big blank spot in the middle of my picture, between the slingshot and a bowling ball and the stack of waffles, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what to draw there. It’s the center, after all. Darn important. And yet, what could possibly be more illuminating than a stack of waffles, or a slingshot and a bowling ball?

I opened my eyes.

Montpellier, noun. a city in and the capital of Hérault, in S. France, near the Mediterranean.

How the hell am I going to draw that?

One page earlier: monolith. Crap. That would have been cool.

But you're thinking, why does this idiot have “food and drink” in his tag cloud for this post?

I couldn't believe my eyes, and then I couldn't believe my luck.

The Red Hot will pour Montpellier Vineyards’ Viognier and Pinot Noir during Wino Wednesday, which falls on the first Wednesday of every month. Each pour is $3 from open to close.

You can see where this is going.

I’m going to get loaded on Montpellier wine at The Red Hot Feb. 4 and finish my insignia. Maybe have a hot dog or two.

I know Montpellier Vineyards is in California, not France. It's a sign, though. I'm riding it.

OK, back to work on my insignia. Need to add a couple more waffles.

[The Red Hot, Wino Wednesday, Feb. 4, 11 a.m.-11 p.m., 2914 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.779.0229]

RON SWARNER: SERIOUSLY? >>>

There's something wonderfully odd and mysterious about the mind of the miniaturist; it takes a certain kind of person to spend so much time around small things, to appreciate the exacting elegance of a tiny table or an itty-bitty bed. Whether it's a simple dollhouse or an extravagant diorama, creating a good miniature world is a matter of scale, a fastidious craft that requires patience, an artist's eye â€" and lots and lots of time.

This guy takes small even smaller. Amazing.

CHRISTOPHER WOOD: SINFONIETTA GOES CHAPLIN >>>

“We’re not your grandmother’s chamber orchestra,” proudly proclaims Neil Birnbaum, executive director for Northwest Sinfonietta. “We … try to be more adventurous in our programming.”

Saturday, Jan. 31, the Northwest Sinfonietta, a nationally recognized 35-member troupe based in Tacoma, will serenade audiences with musical accompaniment to two Charlie Chaplin films â€" a performance unique in the orchestra’s 18-season history. A fresh repertoire should “attract a wider range of audiences,” Birnbaum believes.

Apparently Chaplin had a similar knack for risk-taking. "Shoulder Arms," one of the evening’s selected pieces, pokes fun at heroism in battle as Chaplin’s character and his "Awkward Squad" march to the front lines. Production on the film concluded in 1918, just as devastated soldiers returned home from the First World War.

“To choose the war as the topic of a comedy was very daring,” says musical director Christoph Chagnard.

Chaplin’s gamble paid off, and Arms further cemented his worldwide reputation as a comedic master.

Close to a century later, we still recognize the iconic face, the clownish gait, and gape at his extraordinary deftness in multiple disciplines â€" acting, writing, directing, even score composition. A gifted pianist and violinist, Chaplin invented the music for all his works.

“Watching his films, I couldn’t think of much better music to put on them,” says Chagnard.

See (and hear) this timeless talent at the Rialto Theater.

[Rialto Theater, Saturday, Jan. 31, 7:30 p.m., $21-$45, $55 ticket includes prix fixe dinner at Sea Grill, 310 S. Ninth, Tacoma, 253.591.5894]

MICHAEL SWAN: PETA'S BANNED SUPER BOWL AD >>>

PETA's Super Bowl ad, which features hot chicks who are powerless to resist the temptation of veggie love, was banned from the Super Bowl. NBC rejected the video because of concerns over "rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin," a woman "screwing herself with broccoli," and more.

Check it out.

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

RON SWARNER: OH NO YOU DIDN'T! >>>

Some chick named Ashley, who's apparently from Tacoma, and also is featured on the Oxygen Network's Bad Girls Club - will be at Jazzbones tonight throwing back $4 vodkas. 

I'm almost certain they're not filming the action. If they are, I'm counting on you, South Sound ,to check out this action and offer it a version of yourself that maybe I will enjoy seeing transformed into "reality." I expect nothing less. Or more.

[Jazzbones, 280 Sixth Ave., Tacoma, 253.396.9169]

MICHAEL SWAN: CLOSURE >>>

Laura Malone, owner of the former Monsoon Room on Hilltop Tacoma, offers this poem to all of those who supported her little hip watering hole.

Closure
a lifetime in one act

Some of you may have heard and some of you have yet to.
The Monsoon Room has closed her doors for good.

Do not grieve for us.
We were not abandoned.
We were not mistreated, we were not abused.
We lived and we were loved.

Do not fret for yourselves.
You will drink the cocktails of your dreams, once more.
You will dance the night away with perfect strangers, yet again.
You all will be welcome, just as before.

When the time comes, all there is to do is let go.

Nothing ever ends, it only recycles.
Believe in the natural wisdom of reincarnation.
We shall see one another soon enough.
And until then...

Thank You, thank you, thank you.

LAUREN NAPIER: ROCK THE PEACE >>>

Hailing from diverse locations such as Orange County and Texas, and now based in the musical home of San Francisco, Reduced to Ruin’s eclectic geographical wanderings produce tracks that reflect this harmonious restlessness.

Comprised of Donald Meints not just playing the guitar, but tackling bass and vocals as well, John Stone dominating both guitar and vocals, Tamara Waite taking over the percussion section, and Matt Borkenhagen adding the folksy sounds of a pedal steel guitar, this outfit is not your expected and generic find.

With a range of influences that span the genres of indie rock, country, and pop, the result is a charming and appropriate soundtrack to daily reminiscing: peaceful enough to set your mind at ease, but not so nondescript that it becomes simply background music.

Embrace the clarity.

[The New Frontier Lounge, with Kyle McGraw and Tin Man, Wednesday, Jan. 28, 8 p.m., 301 E. 25th St.,  Tacoma, 253. 572.4020]