STEPH DEROSA: BLEU CHEESE WEDGE >>>

Price: $8.99
Rating: 2.5 out of 4 croutons

The Swiss was crazy busy last Tuesday for their Inauguration Party. Mr. DeRosa was starving, and we had no patience for waiting in a food line, so down the street to The Rock we went. We breathed a sigh of relief as we found a table inside The Rock Wood Fired Pizza’s bar area. Brian the bartender came right over to greet us. I asked Brian the same annoying question I ask ever server, “What salad should I get?” If an employee of the restaurant thinks it’s good, it must be. Right? Right. In this case he was definitely right. Brian immediately suggested the new Bleu Cheese Wedge stating that it was deceivingly big. Luckily for Brian I like biting into things that are deceivingly big, so I was SOLD.

Description: Two very fresh and crisp iceberg wedges were split apart on a medium-sized plate. Between the wedges a montage of goodies such as tomatoes, bleu cheese crumbles, and The Rock’s pepper bacon were cradled gingerly and covered in a light blanket of homemade bleu cheese dressing. Beside this precious salad baby came a warm, soft roll and a pad of butter.

Taste: I’m a huge fan of the pungent cheeses and peppered bacons, so this was right up my alley. With heavy toppings such as ones noted here, another lettuce besides The Rock’s crisp and hearty iceberg most likely wouldn’t have stood up. There’s no need for wimpy greens or zesty spring herbs, the entire flavor is taken care of right there in all its Bleu-ey, bacon-ey goodness atop a hearty wedge of lettuce.

Conclusion: The textures experienced in this meal (yes, it is big enough to be a meal) satisfy every mealtime pleasurable sensory spot. Laid before you, the Bleu Cheese Wedge is appealing to the eyes, crunchy to the teeth, robust to the taste buds, and stout to the nostril’s sense of smell. This is one of the few salads I’ve had that paired perfectly with a cold beer, and not a glass of wine. It paired perfectly with The Rock’s Jumpin’ Jack Black Porter, to be exact.

Dressing on the Side
I love Texas, I’m proud to have Texan blood, but I’m so glad I don’t live there. I think I would be living an angry life full of assault charges if I had to deal with some of the shallow women there. I’m not sure if they are really THAT self-absorbed and superficial, or if they are simply not given enough positive attention in their lives â€" but goddamn some of those girls are braggers and ungrateful, spoiled brats.

It grinds my gears to hear people talk incessantly about themselves, saying things in the slight, almost as if they want you to pry so that you’ll drool over their lives. Here are some true examples of statements I’ve heard from old friends that make me want to vomit into a Dixie cup:

• “I love my maid except for when she touches my argyle sweater.”
• “My favorite three places are the tanning salon, the nail salon, and Starbucks.”
• “I don’t know what I’d do without the nanny.”

Hearing this mentality come to life makes me want to both cry and scream. Don’t these women have any depth or appreciation for anything else in their lives besides how they look to other people? Thankfully I have a different life and managed to escape that stupidity in my mid-20s. The difference here in the Pacific Northwest is that yeah, people may have a housekeeper or some shit like that, but they don’t brag about it! Here’s an example of what my friends would say here in Tacoma:

• “It’d be cool to have a maid, but who cares if my house isn’t perfect? Besides, I’d rather save money by cleaning the house myself so that I can spend the dime on something more important.”
• “My favorite three places are an indie-owned coffee shop, somewhere where I can watch a local band, and the farmer’s market.”
• “I don’t know what I’d do without Tacoma Wine Merchants, my best friends, and the sun over Mount Rainier.”

[The Rock Wood Fired Pizza and Spirits, 1920 Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.272.1221]

LINK: South Sound Restaurant Guide