STEPH DEROSA: THE BIRDS AND BEES AND HOTEL MURANO >>>

Whoa baby! Who knew the Tacoma’s posh Hotel Murano had it in them? In a bored effort to stumble upon something entertaining for the over-21 Internet crowd, all I had to do was search the word “naughty” (give or take a few other descriptive words) and voila â€" up popped Hotel Murano offering their “Naughty” overnight package.

For anywhere in the $250 range, naughty Hotel Murano guests can do naughty things in their own naughty privacy behind closed naughty doors. The folks at Hotel Murano will even hook you up with a little alcoholic sumpin’ sumpin’ to get your partner in naughtiness nice and loose for the evening. They cleverly call it “love poison” and suggest multiple places within their establishment to get your pre-naughty drink on: the bar, the restaurant, or your hotel room.

With a bottle of champagne, breakfast in bed, late checkout, and beautiful hand-blown glass surrounding your room â€" what more could you ask for? I think Hotel Murano knows what I would ask for, because they’ve included it in their “Naughty” overnight package: A true, genuine, Hotel Murano “Naughty Love Box” full of mischievous surprises.

Gulp.

Never in my life have I had a hotel make it so easy for me to be naughty, and for that, I have something to say: Hotel Murano, I love you.

Oh, by the way, Murano bell captain Dale Rush will be giving away fresh-cut tulips today between noon and 1 p.m.

[Hotel Murano, 1320 Broadway Plaza, Tacoma, 253.238.8000]