MATT DRISCOLL: A LOOK BACK AT THE WEEK THAT WAS  >>>

Is it Saturday again already? It feels like we just went through this song and dance.

But I digress. It is Saturday, and that means it’s time for the Volcano’s almost entirely flippant review of the week that was â€" conveniently known as “Week in Review.”

So, enough with the small talk. Let’s get this party started!

Monday, April 20

Usually I start off the Week in Review columns by admitting how hard it is for me to remember what happened all the way back on Monday. This week I REALLY mean it.

Monday was 4/20, International Stoner Holiday Extravaganza!
(Note: The fact that I feel a need to put an exclamation point behind such a sentence may have something to do with why I have so much trouble remembering what happened on Mondays on other weeks, too, but I’m not here to talk about that.)

What I am here to talk about is smoking weed â€" which I’m sure plenty of you did on 4/20.

But let’s be honest. If you celebrate 4/20 with gusto, you’re probably getting high on most days.

Either ways, here’s a little something for the stoners out there. Enjoy.

Tuesday, April 21

As you may recall, I was deeply hurt by the Jay Cutler trade. This is the crux of being a Denver Bronco fan. And seeing as today is NFL Draft day, I thought it might be worth a few sentences that on Tuesday I stumbled across this awesome picture of Cutler partying it up in his new home of Chicago.

Though there are plenty of pictures of Denver’s new quarterback partying it up floating around the Internet, Cutler looks particularly douchey here. And I also hear he drives a Hummer. It’s things like this that are making it easier to let go.

Anyway, this idea isn’t mine (it’s actually stolen from www.notqualifiedtocomment.com), but it’s kind of fun to make up captions for this picture. I’ll get it started, and let’s see what you come up with. Since you probably don’t have strong feelings for the Broncos, it should be even easier for you to make fun of Baby Jay as it is for me.

Here’s my caption:

Blond Guy (Greg Olsen): Dude, seriously, how hot are we right now? Totally smokin’. I think it was a good decision to unbutton that shirt.

Cutler: Man, I’m trashed. Glad you like my decision to show off a little chest. Coincidentally, this is the face I made when I fucked the Broncos. Wanna make out?

Wednesday, April 22

I’m not sure how you’re Wednesday shaped up, but certainly the most exciting thing that happened to me was a phone call from Pierce County Sheriff’s spokesman Ed Troyer. You always love it when guy tells you “I could give you more politically correct answers, but I’m not a politician.”
As a journalist, this is when you grab your pencil or turn on the tape recorder.

Troyer was calling me back in regards to a recent letter from Pierce County Councilmember Shawn Bunney to Sheriff Paul Pastor questioning Pastor’s decision to cut Marine Patrols. Bunney thinks the idea sucks, but Troyer was having none of it.

Check out the coverage here.

Thursday, April 23

Slow day.

However, I did get an email from Tacoma’s own Justin Peterson, who you probably know from behind the bar at Hell’s Kitchen. Peterson is competing in the World Beard and Mustache Championship in Alaska, and he sent me a link to a pretty funny page.

His words: “Tacoma represent!”

Check it out here.

Friday, April 24

As I’ve said before, Dan Voelpel is like the Woodward AND Bernstein of Puyallup’s new Sonic Drive-in. He’s been on that story since Day 1 like a proverbial fly on proverbial shit.

With the South Hill Sonic Drive-in location scheduled to open fo’ realz on Monday, Voelpel checked in on Friday with an update.

As of Friday evening, it was the most popular article on the Trib’s site for the day.

I guess people are eating it up.

Get it?

Here’s a little Sonic love to take us out on.

PAUL SCHRAG: BUT IT'S NOT ALL BAD NEWS >>>

Vicci Martinez is on her way to San Francisco. To live, Tacoma. To live...

Don’t fret. She plans to make regular trips to the Pacific Northwest, and plans to shower the city with love every time she comes through. But this move, she says, is important for her career, and for her own fulfillment. She’ll be heading south, and plans to use the move to launch an aggressive touring schedule with the assistance of some agencies that have taken a shinin’ to her. She is currently working with lawyers to negotiate her way through a couple of prospective booking agency relationships, both of which promise to put her on college tour circuits.

“It leaves it open for me, and it’s not exclusive,” she says. “And I will have room to negotiate with other agencies.”

Where does that leave Tacoma in her touring schedule?

“It doesn’t really matter where I’m living,” she says. “We’re going to meet in the middle. We love to play, and perform. That’s what we do.”

Martinez plans on hitting the Tacoma, Seattle, Bellingham circuit every three weeks or so. At least that’s the plan for now. Tickets between San Francisco and Seattle are surprisingly cheap, allowing her to visit her home town whenever the spirit moves her.

She’ll be close to some family and friends in the Bay Area. Martinez also plans on producing another album this summer, and is eyeing October as her month of departure. Whatever fears she had about leaving her home behind have been dissolved by love and personal resolution, she says.

“Where there’s no fear, everything just opens up and it works out,” she says, then sings, “I never can say goodbye.”

“I’ll be coming back all the time,” she promises.

MICHAEL SWAN: BE ON THE LOOKOUT >>>

Tacoma Police detective’s need help in locating a missing child.

Photo: Little John K York Jr.

Photo: Willard D Sisco
 

MICHAEL SWAN: LISSA ANNE IS GOING AWAY >>>

There's a going away party tonight for someone you probably know. No you weren't invited â€" but you don't need to be. Lissa Anne has been the number two chick at the Top of Tacoma Bar & Café since day one (duh, owner Jamie Kay is the number one chick). She's leaving the Top â€" but not before a group hug.

Yes, it's sad. And yes, her going away party will rock. The Plastards, Sarah Conner, Marksmen .45 and Life Cycle will perform. Everyone will do shots. Some will cry. Some will pass out.

What will you do?

[Top of Tacoma Bar & Café, 3529 McKinley Ave, Tacoma, 253.272.1502]

Photo: The Plastards

MICHAEL SWAN: SUNDAY, APRIL 26, 2009 >>>

1. Kareem Kandi Band plays an all-ages show at The Mandolin Café beginning at 3 p.m.

2. Tacoma is for Lovers hosts its second Artist Craft Fair from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Black Water Café’s new location on St. Helens Avenue in downtown Tacoma.

3. Maia Santell & House Blend fill Johnny's Dock with blues and jazz beginning at 5 p.m.

4. The Blues Vespers show is back featuring Kim Field & The Mighty Titans Of Tone at the Immanuel Presbyterian Church at 5 p.m.

5. Sea Jayne Trip plays The Swiss at 8 p.m.

MICHAEL SWAN: MONDAY, APRIL 27, 2009 >>>

1. DJ Jason Diamond spins roots reggae at 9 p.m. as part of The New Frontier Lounge's free "Rebel Monday" night.

2. Chandler O'Leary's To The Letter show at the Collins Memorial Library on the UPS campus.

3. Centered around the book Tacoma is reading Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: "Around the Kitchen Table" is a community conversation about the food we eat beginning at 7 p.m. inside the Olympic Room at the Tacoma Public Library's downtown branch.

4. Brightwood, Sleep For Sleepers, Span The Circuit, Alpine Vista and Dewey Lybecker perform at an all-ages show at The Viaduct.

5. Rockaraoke at Jazzbones

LINK: Live music and DJs tonight in the South Sound

NEWS TEAM: GOOD MORNING SOUTH SOUND >>>

Tacoma pirates win this one: energy bill killed

All gone to the bloody pigs: Pierce County hospitals say they are ready. Swine Flu Central here. CNN has answers.

Traffic cameras: Nose pickers seem safe for now.

G.M. stands for General Mayhem: Automaker will shed 21,000 factory jobs by next year.

Urban planning: The incredible shrinking city!

The crisis hasn't hit everywhere: 10 states weathering the economic storm.

Minnesota sucks: Coleman-Franken race has yet to be settled.

Go Bulls!

NEWS TEAM: WANKERS OF THE DAY >>>

South Seventh Street Five

Jesse “Ponzi” Tam

Terry Jones

The Swiss